I thought breastfeeding was supposed to get easier not harder!

[BudapestMummy]

DD (11 weeks and EBF) and I seem to be going rapidly downhill with breastfeeding. We have the following problems:

• she STILL struggles to latch on and hangs on for dear life when she's on the breast, clicking away and often coming off and her latch seems to have got worse rather than better - my nipple frequently goes white and numb during feeds (although not that painful)
• she hardly ever demands to be fed, and if I offer her the breast if she hasn't fed for three hours then she frequently screams blue murder and then will eventually take a little bit when she's exhausted herself with the screaming
• when she does feed, feeds are taking longer than when she was a newborn - often up to 50 mins and she hardly seems to be taking anything in - I'm convinced she can't possibly be getting enough milk
• milk supply seems to be going down and she can be sucking for minutes on end with hardly any swallowing
• she's sick ALL the time during and after feeds but GP won't prescribe anything as the sick doesn't bother her and she's gaining weight (although weight gain has slowed right down)

However, she's sleeping for a good 6 hour stretch at night and is generally perfectly content.

I'm really loath to switch to formula but wondered if anyone had any advice to keep me going. I'm not loving BF at the moment at all...

Just a quick update. I saw a BFC today and it's not good news. DD has a very shallow latch and she was very resistant to any attempts by the BFC to get her a deeper latch (she just moved back to a shallow latch) and got very upset. The BFC thought that she had been gaining weight at a good rate until recently because I had a good milk supply so the bad latch didn't matter, but now my milk supply has dropped a lot she is no longer able to get the milk that is there because of her latch. She has suggested feeding her more frequently/pumping/milk tablets/domperidone to increase supply. Since she is incredibly fussy on the breast and sometimes screams blue murder as soon as I put her anywhere near the breast things are not looking too good. I'm feeling extremely upset and despondent about it all, as I thought she'd be able to fix the latch but no such luck.

See someone else. I would ask your HV if there are any infant feeding specialists in the local MW team - if she doesn't know, make her ask! My experience is that, whilst BFCs can be great and free support is wonderful, they are not always as specialised or experienced as you might expect. Seeing an infant feeding specialist (totally randomly, she was just the MW doing clinic one day!) made a huge difference for us and she helped enormously with latch and positioning when everyone else had been saying we were doing fine (when we obviously weren't!).

Or could you go private to see a lactation consultant?

All the methods to increase supply can only work if the milk is taken from the breasts. So unless you think you could cope with moving to a system of EBM top-ups (been there and it's bloody hard), you need to find a way to improve the latch, even if only gradually. If you have ways to work on improving the latch, pumping (and top-ups temporarily if needed) will help.

BM - did the BFC talk you through ways in which to deepen latch (using a doll as a prop) or did she make your DD do it all? Sometimes excess handling can make babies very reluctant to feed (as I would if every time I went to eat someone whipped my cutlery and plate away and then forced me to change seats, use a fork instead of a spoon, etc, etc).

Were you given any ideas on how to make bfing a less stressed experience for your DD (as in trying to make it a happy nice place to be rather than a place where you are in a battle)? Usually suggestions like have a bath with baby, have a babymoon (even a few hours snuggled up skin to skin can help) where you aren't trying to get her to feed but enjoy each other. I have a massive post from another forum full of things that might help if you'd like me to pm it to you?

BM : latch 'corrections' don't always work straight away. Please don't be despondant. In my experience (as a breastfeeding counsellor) there may be a couple of weeks of 'practice', gentle and patient, before it really changes when you have an older baby like this.

I still dont see the justification for assuming supply has dropped though....but I do agree bf should be more comfortable.

Hi all. The person I saw could well have been a lactation consultant since I paid her the equivalent of around £30. She didn't suggest ways to improve the latch using a doll, only my DD. However, I went to see the paediatrician today for her injections (I live in Budapest so have to see a private paed for everything) and the good news is that she has put on 230 grams in a week. The paed doesn't think I have a problem with supply!

Well 230g is a GOOD weight gain so another reason to be proud of how well you and your DD are doing.

I mentioned the doll as sometimes it's easier to practice positioning/holds with a doll who doesn't mind being brought to the breast 20 times before being latched on! I've found that some mothers like to try out how it feels/work before trying with their baby so they have worked out where to put hands/what pillow (if any) they want/if it's comfortable for them then they can work on getting baby actually attached having sussed the position.

Have you ever seen these videos? The ones probably most relevant to you are 'Baby 28 hours old - assisted latch', 'Good drinking', 'Really good drinking' and 'nibbling' (you don't want to see nibbling though you might at the end of feed which is ok as long as it is comfortable). Also this animation might be helpful as it shows the angle of the nipple going into the baby's mouth (aiming for the roof rather than centre of mouth), the rest of the website is in Russian though but it's not really relevant.