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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Milk donation - correct etiquette?

36 replies

ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 19:56

Having being inspired by threads on MN about milk donation, I have recently made contact with a recipient mum and have been expressing milk for her prem baby.

I am really happy to do this but its costing me a fair bit in storage bags, just bought more today and have now spent £20ish on bags.

Haven't actually met up with her yet as she lives a fair distance away but do I ask her for contribution when we meet? I feel really tight asking but have just gone onto SMP and can't afford to keep paying for bags.

I am hoping she offers but not sure what to do...it seems totally against the spirit of donation!

Anyone other donors out there...what do you do?

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 31/03/2011 20:17

Are you doing this through an organisation?

emsyj · 31/03/2011 20:21

Around here they supply them. Have you asked?

If they don't supply them to donors near you, you can buy 20 storage bags for about £1.30 in Home Bargains. If there isn't one near you I will buy you a ton and post them to you at my own expense if you PM me. What you're doing is marv.

libelulle · 31/03/2011 20:21

Where are you ceasar? If you're anywhere near Cambridgeshire or Oxfordshire,
I have a load of (sterile) expressing bottles left over that I was about to hand back to the hospital, but you'd be welcome to them. Have a box of bags too! (PM me if you prefer).

But as to the general question, I'd say definitely ask for a contribution - you're doing an amazing thing. Out of interest, are you doing this without her hospital's knowledge? How do you get the milk to her? I ask because a friend of mine offered to donate to me (didn't need it in the end as was lucky enough to express a whole dairy's worth by myself!) and when I mentioned it, the hospital were extremely sniffy about direct donation, saying they only allowed it pasteurised via the milk bank. Though in practice of course there was no way they could know whose milk I was putting in the bottles I brought in for my DS:)

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 20:22

Met her through Human Milk 4 Human Babies who only put people in touch with each other, don't do anything else.

OP posts:
emsyj · 31/03/2011 20:26

Home Bargains is your friend, then - ours has cheap breast pads too. Seriously I will send you a load of bags if you would like. They are really cheap in there and perfectly good - I used the ones from there for DD.

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 20:32

emsyj Ooo great have a Home Bargains in town, will def check that out, I reckon I can afford £1.30! But thank you for the offer, if none available then will PM you. Been using those medela ones £8 a pack! Maybe I should ask Boots to sponsor me Grin

libelulle I'm in yorkshire but thanks for the offer, very kind but am hoping Home Bargains will be my salvation Smile
As I posted ^ I met her through Human Milk 4 Human Babies and am pumping about 3 - 5 oz a day and freezing. She lives near the town where my DH is from so next time we are over there we are meeting up. Hoping milk lasts the journey packed with freezer bags, its not too far so should be fine.

I originally wanted to donate to our local SCBU but they don't do it and a friend who is bf guru and works for PCT said that after b milk has been through all processes to be pasteurised that its not that diff from formula Sad

OP posts:
libelulle · 31/03/2011 20:35

I wish I'd known about HM4HB when I was expressing - until I found another hospital to take it, I actually had to throw milk away because the local milk bank was full:( What a brilliant idea!

WorzselMummage · 31/03/2011 20:35

I'm not sure how you're doing this ?

Is your milk going through a hospital milk bank ?

It really should be..

emsyj · 31/03/2011 20:37

Yes, have a look and see if they have them in your local one. Their stock is a bit unpredictable I find, but 80% of the time they have milk bags and breast pads in my local store. Do let me know if you can't find them tho.

misdee · 31/03/2011 20:38

wow you are doing an amazing thing for another mun be proud!

HM4HB is great, i looked into it, and had several lovely offers from friends for breastmilk for my boy this week, but i was ok with giving him a few oz of formula whilst i expressed (ds is slow to gain weight, and may be referred as FTT). but he is 12 weeks old so not a preemie.

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 20:38

I know its fab. Also feels a bit more personal than donating to unit which makes me keep to my commitment, some days really cannot be bothered but I have seen pics of baby and think of his little face, keeps me going!

Although having said that I don't do pump on days when I have both DCs at home on my own, just no time to do it. DD gets a full flow on those days bless her Smile

OP posts:
RitaMorgan · 31/03/2011 20:39

If she's struggling with a prem baby she might not think to offer to pay herself - it's the kind of thing I'd forget at the best of times Blush But I'm sure she'd have no problem with contributing if you asked.

libelulle · 31/03/2011 20:40

ah yes, yorkshire a bit far, and bottles too bulky to post - oh well. Sounds like home bargains is way forward!

Not sure I'd agree re pasteurised milk being same as formula though - sure a lot of the beneficial properties are lost in the heating, but all the same there is research showing donor milk decreases the risk of NEC in prem babies, which is one of the most devastating complications of prematurity. Most shocking is how few milk banks exist and how hard they make it for people to donate. I often felt like my local bank thought they were doing me a favour by letting me donate!

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 20:44

Worzel If you read earlier posts my local hospital don't accept donated milk so have gone with HM4HB.

I have an arrangment with another Mum who is bfeeding her prem DS but due to his time spent in SCBU her supply isn't enough to sustain him. We are meeting up soon to hand over milk.

I know my milk is ok, have a thriving DD to prove it but also had all my tests and checks when pg, not drinking much atm and am a non smoker.

So not sure why you think I should be donating just through hosp?

OP posts:
misdee · 31/03/2011 20:47

tescos do milk bags as well, which are cheaper, i think i paid a couple of quid yesterday :)

WorzselMummage · 31/03/2011 20:48

Well I guess I wouldn't have given either of my prems human breastmilk that hadn't been pasteurised or milk from a mother than hadn't been health screened and I find it hard to understand why anyone else would.

There should be more milk banks.

But mostly there should be more support for mothrers to breastfeed their own babies.

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 20:49

libelulle Yes I found it almost impossible to get any info on donation to hospital, they acted like they didn't know what I was on about!

I was really surprised when friend told me that about pasteurised bm and thats one of the reasons they don't accept donations where she works, too much hassle and cost for not a massively different outcome. They do really encourage mums to express though.

OP posts:
misdee · 31/03/2011 20:56

scrap that, apparently yesterday i paid almost £6 for bags. 40 of them though :)

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 21:05

misdee Still cheaper then rip off that is medela! (ps were you on HG thread a while ago?)

Worzel Horses for courses and all that Smile Had the same convo in RL recently with a close friend who agreed with you so you are not alone there.

And yes I agree re support for Mums to feed their own babies, my decision to donate was in part due to my experiences bfeeding DS who was 5 weeks early, was very hard but had lots of support while still in hosp with him so was able to feed him myself till 6 months. not everyone so lucky.
Although the mum I am donating to is bfeeding and has had lots of support with it to establish etc.. he was fed ebm for a long time. She has worked really hard to give her DS has b milk and I am very glad I can help her out to keep that up.

OP posts:
misdee · 31/03/2011 21:09

yes was on the Hg thread, am guessing you were as well.

i would happily accepted donated milk for a preemie of my own. but ds is just a small 3month old :)

misdee · 31/03/2011 21:13

oh and if she cant/wont contribute to the bags (tbh would be the last thing on my mind) ask her if she has any spare milk pots suitable for freezing :)

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 21:14

Yes misdee had the hideousness that was Hg (shudders) i don't think we chatted directly but have you got 4DC and had HG with all? You're a bloody hero for dealing with that. Never again for me!!

OP posts:
misdee · 31/03/2011 21:15

yup HG for all 5. it tailed off towards the end with ds, but then threw up in labour as per usual.

Original poster
ceasar04 · 31/03/2011 21:24

Ahh yes the puke, contraction, puke, contraction.... nothing quite like it is there? Only done it twice and never again (am I repeating myself Grin ???)

And am hoping to get those cheaper bags so shouldn't have to ask her hopefully. I really don't think she would mind and i agree she wouldn't think about it...it wasn't till I was handing over my 8 quid today (after buying 89p hand cream from Lidl cos we're so skint...not that I'm a matyr you know adjusts halo) that it even crossed my mind.

OP posts:
misdee · 31/03/2011 21:26

[hands over polish for the halo]

i hope the lady baby does great :) and think you are great :)