Reassurance for such regular feeding or should I try push him on a bit?

[louby78]

My ds is 16 weeks and on the 25th centile and doing really well. He is ebf and I'm just not sure if I'm feeding him too often? Friends who have BF said he should be going 4 hours by now but frankly we're luck to get to 2.5hrs! Nothing else placates him but the breast and the only thing that makes me think I should push him is he doesn't always take that much but then it just feels a bit wrong that he wants my breast and is screaming for it and it stops him from crying......any advice?
Also, he only goes about 3 or 4 hours in the night. Have I caused this? I mean does he now think his half empty tummy is empty? And what happens when I get to introducing solids? Will he be too full of milk if I'm feeding whenever he cries? (My breast is one of the first things I offer him when he cries unless I know he needs winding or is shattered and even then I often feed him to relax him enough to put in cot.)
Thanks in advance.

Tbh you sound like you're doing great! Lots of bf babies feed more than 4 hourly. Also they don't just bf for food, they use it for comfort, pain relief, when feeling overstimulated and a thousand other reasons :) breast milk is so easily digested that often they do ask for feeds quite often as well.

also, many babies feed regularly during the night, especially around 4 months as they have a big growth/developmental spurt. I wouldn't worry about when you introduce solids. for a start, he may well be feeding less often by then and also it does all figure itself out after a few weeks.

I am a little older than 16 weeks, and I certainly have something to eat or drink more than four hourly. I can manage to get through the night now (as I say, I am more than 16 weeks old ) but sometimes I wake up and have a drink of water, 'cos I'm thirsty.

If I had friends who told me I did not need to have a cup of tea when I want want, or a sandwich or a snack. I would tell them to mind their own - and I would ask them why on earth I need to avoid meeting my own needs for food and drink because of their time table?

I also cuddle/hug my kids and my partner when I feel like it, or accept their cuddles/hugs without looking at the clock. I quite often wake in the night and have a cuddle or more with my partner - it's a nice thing to share and it's a good way to get back to sleep.

(Tell your friends to shut up! Your baby is normal and you are a normal mother responding to your baby's loving need for the breast as a food, as a drink, as a comforter. Perhaps they think he should develop a stiff upper lip or something. Jeez. )

Sounds like you're doing exactly the right things. I have no idea where this magic four hour thing comes from. DP's aunt apparently would sit watching the clock waiting for the four hours to be finished so she could feed her son. He would be screaming the entire time but she resolutely refused to feed him more than every four hours.

She came to visit after DD was born and DD started crying. I mentioned she'd had a long sleep so hadn't hada feed in four hours (unusual event). DP's aunt then said 'at least she isn't demand feeding, it's so hard when they do that'. I have a feeling she hasn't the faintest clue what demand feeding really means (btw her oldest is only 6)

Thank you. It didn't help when the health visitor came last week to weigh him and despite having been feeding him when she came, we finished then half hour later after our little chat she weighed him and he screamed. My mum was here and the first thing she did was pass him to me to feed. As I put him to my breast the HV said - Do you always do that everytime he's upset......erm, yes. She didn't say anything, it was more of a look! I just felt like he was doing something wrong but yes TikTok, you're bang on. I eat and drink more often that 4 hourly. Thanks for the reassurance - we'll continue as we were!

louby you sound like a great Mum who is doing exactly the right thing by responding to your babys needs. 2.5 hours during the day and 3 to 4 hours at night is perfectly normal in a bf baby. If you friends have bf but it was a while ago their memories might be a little hazy.

Please don't let other peoples silly comments affect your confidence. Also, don't worry about weaning yet, its a long way off and he will change so much by then.

Do you go to any bfing support groups? If you don't I can highly recommend going along to one for a cuppa and a chat and seeing that what you are doing is just right

x-posted with you there. Don't worry either about the HV. Neither of our HVs have had children and their advice and opinions on Bfing is dodgy at best.

You know you are doing well and your DS is a lucky boy.

No Jilted, I don't go to a BF group but I maybe I should. I think also I was worried because sometimes he just has the shortest feed and I wonder if I should have tried something else to settle him but BF woks everytime!

thank you!

It's mad, isn't it? If there was some other kind of parenting technique you could employ which magically made everything better, every time, and didn't have any side effects for overuse, the person who discovered it would be a millionaire! But when it's breastmilk, people have a weird reaction to it.

Well if it works, why change it I say. Both mine were almost exactly the same as yours and I did the same. DS is now 7 and DD is 3.5, both lovely, happy and socialable.

As far as groups go I'd highly recommend going to one. I go to the local NCT group which welcomes everyone, about half have bf or mixfed so its a good balance. You can find your local NCT one here, or maybe try LLL, ABM or Baby Cafes. If nothing else you'll get a cuppa and some adult conversation, and if you're lucky you might meet some new friends.

I have never seen the point in jiggling/distracting or whatever when you can just give a breastfeed and get on with your day

Mine fed 2.5 hourly until 6 months, then managed 3 hourly once he had meals in between. Now he's 8 months and he feeds 4 times in the day and once at night.

4 hourly feeds for a breastfed 4 month old seems VERY optimistic to me!