Still breastfeeding!

[shoemadgal]

Hi I am slowly going insane as I am STILL feeding my 20 month son, I thought that he would come off naturally but there is no sign of this happening. I've tried bottles and formula, beakers and cows milk but he is not interested. He also is still co-sleeping with my husband and I and we would love to get him in his own bed. I am sure that if I can get him off me, it will be easier to do so.
He is also very clingy to me, which is sometimes upsetting to other members' of the family especially my husband (his dad) and my mum, I am getting him into nursery but that doesn't start for a few months yet.
So please if anybody has any tips please, please PLEASE get back to me, thank you

I have no tips I'm afraid but can recommend 2 books www.amazon.co.uk/Mothering-Nursing-Toddler-Norma-Bumgarner/dp/0912500522 www.llli.org/nb/nbsepoct99p186.html
Got to dash cos sounds like DSs killing DD! first might help achieve an amount of nursing you can cope with 2 nd is about weaning HTH

If you left him to self wean he will do so at some point but that point may be some months/years off, there is no way to know when. Of course you have the option to encourage him to wean now, either in part (ie. Night wean) or totally. There is also various 'nursing manners' which can be introduced which make things easier for you, if you decide to continue nursing. It depends on how important it is to you and your DS to have stop, limit feeds or continue as you are doing.

I really don't believe that personality traits are linked to method of feeding. I don't think your DS being clingy is anything to do with breastfeeding. Some children need more reassure than others and he will outgrow it when he is ready.

Sorry but I have to be a bit at daddy and grandma who have an issue with your son needing his mummy, what could be more natural ? Wouldn't it be more concerning if he showed no attachment to you ? As adults maybe your DH and DM could think more about DS's needs and less about their own. It hardly hurts them if he loves and needs mummy.

Again cosleeping is a very different issue to nursing, I would worry that if you try and change too many things at once it may be distressing for your DS. To lose to many comfort behaviours at once. It is possible to cosleep and not nurse. I have night weaned my toddler and he often sleeps with us. We offer him water in a sports bottle at night and he drinks that without complaint.

What would be the best solution for you ? What are your concerns ?

it's unlikely he will self wean this young tbh.
agree with previous poster that his clinginess is really very unlikely to be anything to do with how you feed him, and everything to do with his personality.

do you WANT to stop feeding him altogether? or would you be happy to continue if he was in his own bed etc etc?

I'd suggest trying some of the methods in 'the no-cry sleep solution' to get him in his own bed (if this is what you want) and possibly less reliant on bfing for sleep (it's written by a bfing co-sleeping mom so very understanding of this kind of situation).

Right, disaster averted, DCs in bed.

I agree with above posters that this probably isn't really to do with BF or cosleeping but more to do with your DS needing you a bit more at the moment.
If you want to night wean and cosleep Jay Gordon has baby friendly method.
Equally if what you really want is to get him into his own bed maybe not stop BF quite yet? DH and I used to get in with DS2 (in his bed) to get him to sleep and then he would usually, at 23-24 months go through the night. But that was what worked for us.
Do you have a local LLL group? They tend to have all sorts of women with all sorts of parenting styles attending. You might hear something that you feel you can work with.
FWIW - all of my DC have gone through phases of needing me more, and sometimes DH was who they wanted. It passes and I found it easier to just go with it for the short while it happenned (though at the time it felt never ending) than to force weaning/separate beds etc.

thank you all so much for getting back to me, I really was starting to worry that he was so needy of me but you've reassured me that it's completely fine for him to need me so much. I will firstly just try and wean him off me slowly (again)- last night he actually fell asleep without bfing him. That maybe a step in the right direction. Thank you all again