Questions about co-sleeping

[runnermum2]

Having not discovered mumsnet until DD was 2 months old I followed nhs guidelines and didnt consider co-sleeping. However if DC2 ever appears then I would definitely think about it .... but have some questions about how it actually works.

1. Does the baby go to bed at the same time as you? I can't imagine a tiny baby alone in a double bed.
2. When BF I get the impression that the baby latches on and feeds ad lib during the night. How do you get the baby to feed from both sides?
3. Where does the baby nap during the day?
4. What do you do about bedclothes? Do you sleep under just a sheet and blanket or do you have a duvet with the baby on top of it in a sleeping bag? Can't quite imagine how that works.

Looking forwards to your pearls of wisdom!

There are lots of variations to co-sleeping, not one set way...

1. Some people do go to bed with their babies at around 8.30ish. Others like myself put the baby in the cot (either in own room or in in theirs) and when they wake, the baby comes in their bed.
2. You can feed from both sides by just lying on your side (and not rolling over), I never quite mastered that one. I think I used to sort of put the baby on my chest and roll over and then feed from the other. As he got older, I don't think I worried too much about changing sides.
3. Naps were in cot /moses or pushchair.
4. Early on I would sleep with just half the duvet over me (I would wear a cardigan to keep me warm.). Nowadays, he's in his sleeping bag on top of the duvet. He's 17 mo now, so not feeding really in the night, but has his early morning feed in bed with me.

Have to say, that I never envisaged co-sleeping for this long, and sometimes it has driven me to distraction having a fidgety little eel in the bed next to me (and DH hanging out the other side). That said, as a way of for getting the most sleep at any given time, it's been ideal.

But as you can see- DS still makes an appearance at some point in the night for a snuggle - well who can blame him.

If we had another one, we would definitely co-sleep again (but would get a king sized bed this time).

HTH

As crikeybadger said, there are lots of different ways to do it. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out a way that suits you. Here's how I do it-

1. Yes, I go to bed at the same time as my DDs. I've usually had enough by about 8.30/9pm!
2. When they are tiny you can just lift them up and put them on the other side. When they get bigger and better at latching on then you can just roll over a bit further and feed from the opposite side. It takes a bit of practice.
3. In the sling, in the bouncy chair, in the moses basket, on me while I watch telly, on the sofa (DD1) etc etc
4. I have the duvet up to my waist and have a cellular blanket over my top half. You can get king size cellular blankets if you prefer.

Co-sleeping has definitely made my life easier, I love waking up with my DDs and it's definitely made BF easier.

Lots of ways to do it. We use co-sleeping but don't co-sleep fulltime. Apart from a few nights in the very early days, DD has always started the night in her basket or cot. But if she wakes up in the night and I'm too exhausted to feed sitting up, or if I can't re-settle her after feeding, she comes in with me. She also used to always come in with me after the morning feed so I could get more rest and we've often co-slept for naps as she wouldn't nap otherwise!

I found this checklist helpful. We got a bed guard, DD always sleeps between me and the bedguard (never next to DH) and I never have the duvet near her and only use one pillow that I never move around when asleep. I wear a long-sleeved open top, e.g. a cardi of some kind, only have the duvet over my legs and then DD has a cellular blanket. When it was colder I had a larger cellular blanket for over my upper body.

Oh and it's possible to feed from the "upper" boob if you don't want to have to roll over with LO and then roll back. 'The Food of Love' by Kate Evans has illustrations afaik. We practiced at naptimes, but still tend to feed from the left when up and then the right if we go back to bed.

1. Have you considered a co-sleeper (a cot with one side missing that attachs to your bed). DH fiddled about with the cot we got from freecycle to make a co-sleeper, so they don't have to be the £200 type ones you see in catalogues. DD sleeps in there in the evening and for as much of the night as she is happy to.

1. Don't know anything about BF.

1. DD naps in her pushchair. Did nap in her moses basket until she outgrew it.

1. DD is in a grobag. She can then sleep on her own in the co-sleeper or snuggled next to me but over/beside the duvet. I also used to sleep in something long sleeved so that DD could sleep on my arm without me getting cold.

Like BreatheSlowly we use a co-sleeper, in our case a Cosatto bedside cot. Can't recommend highly enough.

1. I would like to say that DD goes to bed in the cot first, but in reality she stays down with us napping/feeding/napping/feeding again until we go to bed around midnight, or later . Having said that tonight we did put her down asleep - hoorah! She is in the cot with it adjoining the bed with the baby monitor right there so if I hear her waking and wriggling I go right up.

2. DD doesn't just latch on herself when she feels like it. She wakes, snuffles around, cries a little, wakes me and I help her latch on. Even at 9 months I am not trusting her to do it herself - ouch. Sometimes I feed from the lower breast, sometimes the upper breast, sometimes the cot side, sometimes I roll her over to feed the other side. All depend how I feel. Often we fall asleep with her feeding.

4. Again like BreatheSlowly DD sleeps in a Grobag. The solution we have finally arrived at to get any sleep is to extend our double duvet into the cot. DD sleeps next to me, in her cot, on top of the duvet. DH has his own single duvet. I wear a long sleeved top so my arms don't get cold when I end up cuddling her back to sleep.

BTW the answer to (3) is a) on DH (in the week) or b) on the boob (at the weekend).

I didnt start out co-sleeping, it just happened gradually

1. Does the baby go to bed at the same time as you? I can't imagine a tiny baby alone in a double bed.
DS sometimes goes in the cot (moses basket when small), or sometimes me or DH cuddle him dowstairs til we go up

2. When BF I get the impression that the baby latches on and feeds ad lib during the night. How do you get the baby to feed from both sides?
I BF, but always woke up to feed him and fed sat up. Would def try this with DC2 though

3. Where does the baby nap during the day?
Pram, moses basket, cot or cuddled

4. What do you do about bedclothes? Do you sleep under just a sheet and blanket or do you have a duvet with the baby on top of it in a sleeping bag? Can't quite imagine how that works.
Yep, in the sleeping bag. Or if DH is working, I L shape the quilt and he lies next to me

DS and DH are asleep next to me on the sofa atm

I/we cosleep with our twins. We have a cot minus one side on one side of the bed, and a toddler bed rail on the other side.

1. They either go to sleep in the cot, on the sofa or on the bed. Since there are two of them, the 'tiny baby' doesn't look so lost in the bed! If they start the night in the cit, they generally come into the bed when they first wake. They sometimes go back into the cot depending on how the night is going / whether DH is there (so less space) etc

2. My two don't latch themselves on. I wear a bra and top ^in bed for comfort, so it would take a dextrous baby to get at them. I wake up to snuffling and grunting, the shuffle everyone around as necessary to reach the correct baby and then feed lying down. I gemstone fall asleep as soon as the feed starts (unless I start on MN on phone over feeding babies shoulder ...) and then do bra and top when I next wake and notice baby has finished.

3. bed, floor, sofa, pram, cot, on me ... Wherever they end up!

4. they sleep in sleeping bags, with additional cellular blanket if in cot, or or duvet up to their thighs if in the bed. I didn't like having them on top of the duvet as was then couldn't move the duvet without waking them. If they don't have the duvet up to their thighs, I find they get cold, so end up with cellular blankets in bed too, which just gets confusing and dangerous IMO. I think it is safer with one stationary duvet than with single duvet (and extra edge to make sure they don't slide under) or extra blankets around. I know this is against the guidelines.

I didn't cosleep like this until about 10 weeks. They seemed far two little before then. I sometimes had them on top if the divet before 10 weeks, but worried about them sleeping on such a soft surface, so they were mostly in the cot until about 10 weeks.

Sorry for typos - posting from phone while feeding lying in bed!

I think most tips have been covered here but just wanted to say that it isn't all or nothing - ds didn't like co-sleeping so we never did it with him, but dd does, and I have co-slept with her on and off, but trying to settle in the cot when I had the patience, iyswim. If she resisted I just brought her in with me and over time she has spent more and more time in the cot.

She didn't nap in the cot until very recently (she's 10 months now) but was happy to sleep in her bouncy chair or pram during the day (always v short naps though).

I basically kept her in with me in the very early days and during the 3/6/12/16 week growth spurts she had, and also when she's woken very early. I actually found the time when she was very little the easiest. She is a very still, non-wriggly sleeper which is handy!

I took over the double bed in the spare room with dd and DP stayed in our bed - we had already planned to sleep separately in the early days as after our experience with ds we knew that having one rested parent makes a much happier household but I know not everyone would make that choice.

I didn't like having her on top of the duvet as was worried about her head getting too hot, so she was in a grobag and I just slept with warm pyjama top on and duvet just up to my waist and tucked under me (I always wind my duvet round myself anyway).

Is co-sleeping not recomended from birth?

1. Baby stays with me where ever I am. I start doing a bedtime and leaving baby upstairs in king size bed at 7pm and I go upstairs later.

1. I prefer to latch baby on especially at the start but once the baby is latched on I go back to sleep and let her latch off when she has finished. I lie on my right side and feed from the bottom (right) breast first and then I roll slightly towards my baby and that lowers the top (left) breast so she can latch to that one. Just practice, practice, practice.

1. When tiny baby, they nap in pram, moses basket, sling, anywhere actually. Over 6 months I sometimes leave her asleep in our bed.

1. Don't put baby under or on a duvet. Even on the duvet they get reflected heat and could get to warm. I use cotton cellular blankets in king size and sheets for DH and I (and toddler). My youngest DD, sleeping in a sleep sack and if cold enough under one blanket.

I recommend having a king size bed, attaching a three sided cot (normal cot, just remove drop down side) to the side of the bed with bungy ropes, so baby has a safe place to roll into and it allows you to use ALL the main bed space. Make sure baby mattress is moved snugly to meet the main mattress with no gap and stuff the space at the other side of the baby mattress with towels or high density foam.

HTH