Anyone successfully bf second time after ff first time round?

[Shellfish]

I'm pg with dc2 and although I'm very happy, part of me is dreading the whole feeding thing. Last time I had the most horrendous experiences with bf, desperately wanted to but got very depressed when I couldn't carry on - ds was losing weight, feeding 24/7, I got very Ill and couldn't eat etc. Even a lactation consultant gave up on me. As a consequence, I didn't bond with ds for quite a while and think my issues massively contributed to my pnd.

I really want to bf this time round but Im worried my anxiety will sabotage my chances. My ds1 is very active and full on too and know that I couldn't give over the amount of time to bf this time round if I had the same issues (6 hour marathon feeds - not cluster, just one!) as last time.

Has anyone had similar experiences or advice to give?

I underrstand your anxieties after last time. I have experienced bf probs and so poor weight gain in both my ds's. All I can say is that every baby is different and you have the benefit of experience this time.

All you can do is ask for all the support you can and see how it goes. Even the lactation consultant may be able to help when she couldn't the first time round. I know my first time the lac cons ended up telling me to give more formula when I was trying to build up my milk supply (this message was 'passed on' by mybhv so notnsure if it got changed)

Anyway this time I kept calling on the lac cons for help and I can honestly say I wouldn't still be bring at 12 months without her help.

Try not to worry, no reason for it to be a repeat of your first experience

Bf was a mess with my first: she was in intensive care on tube feeding and I couldn't express. As soon as she she came out we moved straight to the desert where I didn't realise about drinking enough.

I bf seven after that, never brilliantly (as in I never had masses to spare), but adequately. I'm sure you can do it just fine.

On the formula front: I was given lots of contradictory advice. My personal experience proved time and again that a bottle of formula to replace the feed you find most difficult (for me the early evening feed with tea/ baths for the others going on) helps reduce anxiety/ replenish supplies far more than struggling to do it all. I did feel a cheat (or not purist) but everyone in the house was far happier with that bottle of formula giving a break.

DS1 was an emergency section and I had a horrendous first 48hrs with him trying to BF. Looking back I think it was a very bad latch problem but I was given naff all support and so was FF before we left hospital. I really feel like the whole experience affected my bond with him because I ended up so sleep-deprived, in pain and anxious. We suspect I may have had a very mild case of PND for quite a while and my family were all FF and very unsupportive of BF so I was under a lot of pressure to give up.

DS2's birth was a very successful VBAC and BF has been a doddle! I was sure to educate myself properly beforehand and everything just seemed to fall into place. He latched easily, fed really well from the off and slept really well too. I've lost loads of weight so feel really energetic and healthy. For me, the key was DH's suppoort with DS1 so I could have a bit of a babymoon and just get on with clusterfeeds, etc. My family are still trying to get me to stop but I couldn't care less.

Every birth is different so you have to view this as a clean slate - good luck to you!

For me it has worked amazingly, DS1 I only Bfed for 4 weeks. He was a very hungry baby and we didn't get the latch right at first and as a result I had very sore cracked nipples all the time. Due to the frequency of his feeds my boobs never got a break or a chance to heal and so after 4 very painful weeks I gave in and Ffed.

I regretted this afterwards and in hindsight I realise that I could have got much better support than I had, but it did leave me worried about how it would go 2nd time around. I shouldn't have worried however as it is going really well at 18 weeks and counting, I only had a tiny amount of bruising in the first couple of days and DS2 has fed like a dream ever since.

I know that not everyones experience will be as good as mine, but what has really helped is that I am so much more prepared for what can go wrong and what feeding is like. As with everything else, things just seem easier 2nd time around as you have actual knowledge of babies rather than just what others tell you or what you can read iyswim.

Hope it all goes well for you and your new LO

One of my friends tried to BF her 1st child but she gave up before he ven latched on because he just wouldnt do it and she had very little help from midwives, she did'nt bother trying with 2nd or 3rd but has just finished exclusively BFing her 4th child at 12 months!

Try not to stress just because you could'nt do it once does not mean you won't be able to do it this time. I don't know how much you already know abut it but you could try browsing breastfeeding literature and getting yourself clued up and speak to one of the BFing counsellors online if you need to.

Stressing yourself out will not help!

Could you get somone to look after your DS1 for a day or 2 even if it is just downstairs in your house so that you and the new baby can have some alone skin to skin time cosied up in bed?

Thanks for all your experiences and suggestions. I think I'll have a lac con on standby! I also think I ll be more prepared this time round - no more late night dashes to buy lansinoh !

I can only echo what others have said, try not to stress, have all the numbers to hand, and try to make time for you and the new baby.
With DS1 I managed to bf for 6 weeks of hell. The, very experienced and good, HV said he was the only baby she'd ever seen with no rooting reflex.
With DS2, we've got to 7 months and he's still going strong, despite being an EMCS and also being in NICU from 10 days old because he had a heart op. I did make sure I bought DS1 a new and interesting toy which only came out when I was feeding. Good luck!

DD1 was never EBF neither she nor I knew what we were doing. She took to bottles like a duck to water and screamed the place down if I suggested a breast feed insteed.
DD2 was quite the opposite, it was clear from the second time I put her to the breast that she knew exactly what to do. (I still didn't and got cracked nipples and mastitus just like I did with DD1). However we quickly settled into a routine (and she carried on breastfeeding until well into school, but I've posted about that elsewhere).
DD2 would not touch bottles, she screamed even more loudly than DD1 did about breast feeding. She would, however drink squash out of a spouted mug from pretty young and was quite happy with that if I wanted to leave her with DH.

All I'm really trying to say Shellfish is all children are different, give BF a try, it really is a joy not to have to plan a military campaign every time you leave the house. BUT don't beat yourself up about it if it doesn't work DC really won't care.

I have a similar thread going!

During my recent pregnancy I was very worried about feeding DC3 - didn't know whether I could face the pain and consequent failure of a third attempt at breastfeeding, because I was convinced that it would fail! I stopped breastfeeding DS1 & 2 at two weeks due to various reasons which in hindsight were probably manageable. This pregnancy it was on my mind all the time and DH really wanted me to go straight to formula and avoid the tears etc etc.

Anyway, DS is now over 4 weeks old and exclusively breastfed. It hasn't been easy, but no where near as bad as my past experiences were. He's a different baby, and from the start things felt different. Also I think just realising that it wouldn't be easy prepared me. I also saw a great lactation specialist midwife who came to our home when he was 8 days old and I was in lots of pain.

Go easy on yourself, the whole subject is so emotive and breastfeeding doesn't necessarily come naturally to us all!

Enjoy your new baby and good luck!