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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Well I have reached the magical 6 weeks...

19 replies

megcleary · 21/03/2011 15:59

.. and if anything bf is getting worse dd2 is feeding constantly. Hourly sat night dh and I are on our knees rowing snapping at dd1. It is probably a growth spurt, god am I sick of that phrase, I don't know how much longer I can do this. Does it really get easier and feeds become shorter, does it ever get to a place where I can have a routine of sorts.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 21/03/2011 16:02

It depends if there are any underlying problems - I can't remember if you said you'd seen anyone in real life about your dd's feeding? Growth spurts only last a few days, so constant feeding for 6 weeks suggests there could be something else going on.

Cosmosis · 21/03/2011 16:05

There is definitely a 6 week growth spurt, but if it's been like this all along, as Rita says, there could be another issue. Constant constant feeding could be a poor latch causing inefficient feeding.

TBH for me, it didn't really settle into a pattern until a couple of months, I think the 6 week thing is because that tends to be when you start to get some feedback from the baby, ie smiles.

Original poster

megcleary · 21/03/2011 16:24

I think I am scaring her by crying with tiredness and my tears hitting her face as I feed her. There was a time it seems less relentless but last few days hell. Latch not seen for last few weeks when deemed perfect but I have not changed anything.

Last night dh gave one bottle of formula as I was hyrsticLly tired. All I seem to do is feed she falls asleep I but her in bouncy chair 10 mins later screaming baby check nappy have cuddle all she wants is feeding again. Feed again 20 mins whatever wind her offer other boob can't wake her put her down 10 mins she's awake looking to feed again. I am tired of eating one handed of this sofa of missing stuff with dd1.

Am just ranting now. I am not enjoying her I am just a pair of tits and I just don't know any more.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 21/03/2011 16:28

Who checked you latch the first time? Was it just a midwife/HV or a bf specialist?

Can you co-sleep and feed lying down? Might help with the tiredness. And a sling to keep your hands free in the day?

japhrimel · 21/03/2011 16:32

Learn to feed lying down, it makes a huge difference. I was not sure about co-sleeping at first, but read the Unicef leaflet on co-sleeping safely and also Elizabeth Pantley's checklist for safe co-sleeping. We got a bed guard, DD always goes next to me (never DH) and I keep duvet and pillows well away from her. It saves my sanity, even though we don't do it all the time - this afternoon I took her to bed for a nap as she wouldn't stay asleep and was screaming overtired and I had a stinking headache. She had a feed, we both had a sleep and now I'm up to dealing with everything again.

Cosmosis · 21/03/2011 16:35

My ds used to wake whenwver you put him down too, you have my sympathies. I think I spent the first 3 months of his life with him slleping on me or right next to me.

Original poster

megcleary · 21/03/2011 16:38

But if I co sleep all the time dh can't give me the break he desperately wants to do and pop her to sleep in her cot. I couldnt cope with sling it hurt my back.

When she was feeding and sleeping in a more manageable manner she went from 7/13-9/7 in about a week ten days would this have happened with a poor latch?

OP posts:

beautyguru · 21/03/2011 16:43

Oh you poor thing you really have my sympathies as I have just had the week from hell with dd2 who is 12 wks today. It sounds as though she is not getting enough milk from you and there could be several reasons for this. Can you ask your local surestart centre if you can see one of their bf counsellors? They should be able to help you suss it out..also look on Laleche League website for help/advice.

I know all the bf advocates on here will probably go mad at me saying this but have you considered bf her during day but giving her bottle of formula as last feed before bed? I started doing this at 2 weeks and found it really helped as it gave me a little respite and also filled her tummy more so she started sleeping through until 6am And my hv agreed it was a good idea too.

Hope things get better soon....and if you havent already I would highly recommend joining a Mums & babies group...its so ggod to chat to other Mums experiencing the same probs and helps you know you're not alone. Only wish I had joined a group with dd1, might have helped me avoid getting Pnd.

RitaMorgan · 21/03/2011 16:47

I suppose it's up to you to decide if you'll get more sleep co-sleeping or getting your DH to help. Personally I found it easier to just go with my ds's need to be close to me rather than fight to get him to go down alone (he sleeps all night alone in his cot in his own room now at 7 months though).

Maybe try a different sling? Stretchy wraps are very comfy for both of you.

Original poster

megcleary · 21/03/2011 17:41

I think I'll get her weight and if possible checked again but I am very close to stoppping bf.

OP posts:

Original poster

megcleary · 21/03/2011 17:41

if possible "latch" checked again

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 21/03/2011 18:03

Before you stop completely, have you thought about mixed feeding? If all is well with the latch and her weight gain, it might just be that you have a high needs baby, so introducing some bottle feeds could mean someone else feeding her.

I would second beautyguru's suggestion of introducing a couple of bottle feeds. Maybe one early evening when your DH gets home so you can spend some time with your other DD - or maybe an 11pm one so you can go to bed early and get a stretch of sleep.

My 6 weeks your supply should be established, so slowly introducing some bottle feeds might not be an issue.

Olivetti · 21/03/2011 18:22

Just a thought, but is she definitely properly winded? My DD was just like this in the early weeks, frantically wanting to feed ALL the time. Turned out she was trying to feed for comfort, because of wind pains. Infacol was a Godsend for us. And my husband used to sit for ages winding her - we almost spent more time winding than feeding. As soon as she burped or farted, she would settle to sleep, but it did take ages until the infacol got to work.

AllGoneABitBobLazar · 21/03/2011 18:50

No advice I'm afraid, but wanted to sympathise and say that I felt exactly the same at 6 weeks. Didn't feel like a mummy, a wife, a person - just a pair of boobs. It was exhausting and miserable! I wish I had given myself a break and co-slept, I'm sure it would have made it much easier.

6 weeks was a real low point, things really improved by about 3 months though. Now, 5 months in, I'm really glad I kept going. Feeds only take a few minutes and he goes 3- 4 hours between feeds, but unfortunately I can't claim we have a routine!

Good luck, I hope things get easier for you soon.

japhrimel · 21/03/2011 21:15

Co-sleeping doesn't mean doing it all the time. But it can still give you a break.

We don't co-sleep most of the time and DH puts DD down in her cot at night. But if she wants a night-feed and I'm exhausted or she won't settle afterwards, I take her to bed. And if I need a lie-down during the day and she wants feeding, I take her to bed.

It's an alternative to sitting up feeding at night when you're so tired you think you can't stay awake any longer.

kiwi5 · 22/03/2011 08:05

ditto what a few people said re formula feed at night. stareted doing that atabout 3 weeks. made such a difference as you can go to bed after last boob feed and get at least a couple of hours sleep. especially if your partner is willing to help out.

it really does change. i almost gave up the bf - had thrush, constant feeding, couldnt cope with her 'on' me ALL the time. now while i still dont love it, am starting to feel as if i dont hate it!! little girl is 12 weeks old today! still tend to eat dinner one handed whilst feeding her!!!

def find some mummy friends to talk to - that helps.

all the best xxxx

Mahraih · 22/03/2011 08:39

Consider co-sleeping! I know others have said it, but my DS is almosg 6 weeks old and wants to feed a great deal of the time, and co-sleeping has helped massively.

It just means you can get some sleep, not feel so exhausted, get some strength back.

I think that all they want is to be close to their mothers at this point. DS screams if anyone he doesn't 'know' takes him, and is happiest when being cuddled closely. It's not convenient, but I think it's normal!

Cosmosis · 22/03/2011 09:50

I agree co-sleeping doesn't have to be all the time, DS has always started the night in his basket, sometimes he ends up in the bed and sometimes doesn't, it depends on how well he settles which changes each night depending on how clingy he is feeling.

MigGril · 22/03/2011 09:59

Lot's of people have given you advice re co-sleeping. Wich is great I have an older one to and couldn't function without co-sleeping. I had to have him in a cot at 7weeks for three nights as was staying away that almost brock me, I hadn't realised until then how much of a difference it made.

Regarding the sling what type of sling are you useing? I only ask as I suffer from back problems but can still sling DS age 4months I just have to have the right one. If you've got back problems wraps are best a streighy wrap for a newborn upto 3-4months and we're now moving onto a Mei Tai. I've had to try a few but it's been worth it.

Also I would seconed getting the latch checked again, in the mean time this is a really good site with video's of what a good latch should look like. nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=category&layout=blog&id=6&Itemid=13

Good luck

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