bfeeding while pregnant

[otchayaniye]

I'm still bfeeding a 2-1/2 year old and about 20 weeks pregnant. My supply went down when I became pregnant (had to stop demand feeding in order to get a period at all) and now she has a go about once a day and has told me my milk has all but dried up (not that she cares!) but the whole thing is winding down, which is fine by me as it hurts like hell.

But the midwives I've spoken to have said that I should stop it soon. Since it is stopping of its own accord, I didn't get
into a conversation about it, but I did wonder afterwards why they told me this?

I am not totally against tandem feeding if it will help my daughter ease into the idea of a sibling, so I also wasn't dead set on stopping it right this minute and pushing her to stop.

Outraged on your behalf that you should be told something like this with no explanation.

Do what's right for you and your family. Midwives plural told you this? Very strange, I can't think of any reasons why you should stop if you don't want to. In fact if you do choose to keep going then it can really help in the early days with the newborn, as your toddler can help keep supply up, and if you nurse both at the same time then it can help the letdown on the littlun's side, which they sometimes struggle with.

HTH, and bump in case anyone else knows.

I continued feeding DD1 right through my pregnancy. No one ever told me to stop even though I had a difficult pregnancy and was on lots of medication. If you are having a normal pregnancy and only expecting one baby then I'm sure there's no reason why you need to stop if you don't want to.

You might want to read Adventures in Tandem Nursing - its a great book about feeding during pregnancy and feeding two and has lots of helpful advice whether you want to stop or continue.

I continuing to feed DD1 was a great way to help her adjust to her new sister, although it was pretty exhausting in the early days as she went from hardly feeding at all at the end of my pregnancy to feeding as much as the baby when the milk came in. Still feeding them both now aged 2.3 and 10 months, and no plans to stop anytime soon.

I think it can just be prejudice/lack of information on the midwives' part. Tandem feeding is a pretty unusual aspect of breastfeeding, so it's unlikely it would be covered in the one session that midwives get as part of their training, and I expect if you didn't know it might be easy to assume that it isn't possible to breastfeed two at once.

I think natural term weaning is supposed to help the transition with a new sibling, I'm not sure of any books about it, kellymom will probably have good info (I'll look in a min) and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler has a short section on it. If you have a La Leche League group near you you might find support there - the leaders certaily would be able to point you in the direction of some resources to show your midwife. Or you could just not mention it unless it comes up (medication etc) - it probably won't as most things safe in pregnancy will be safe for breastfeeding.

Oh, here - Kellymom has a whole section on it :) www.kellymom.com/bf/tandem/index.html

fed through two pregnancies and tandem fed twice, no problems at all INFACT when at an antenatal app when overdue with ds3 i ended up bfeeding ds2 who was just 2yrs and a consultant walked into the room, i expected a comment (had had some negative ones) but she was REALLY lovely and said how NICE it was to see a mum still bfeeding a toddler and that it was good for him and that if i continued when baby was born it would be fine and would help make sure he didnt feel pushed out etc.

she said it was the norm in her culture (indian) but not over here and she was really pleased to see someone doing it.

and my midwives knew and never said it was a problem at all :)

What a load of rubbish !

I nursed a toddler through one pregnancy AND tandem nursed through another pregnancy.

Just to give you a heads up. Even if you and/or your daughter decides that she is not breastfeeding now, she may ask again when the baby arrives and the milk returns.

I strongly believe that tandem feeding helps the older siblings accept a new baby. But that only works if the mother is happy with the idea of tandem nursing.

Just agreeing with what everyone else said. :)

How are you doing now babieseverywhere? Are you still feeding all 3? You prob recall that I stopped feeding dd when she turned 4, when I was 4 months pregnant with ds2, but I'm still going with 2.5yr old ds1 and 8 month old ds2, and no sign of either wanting to stop any time soon :).

Hello - am in very similar situation to you, 20ish weeks pg and still bfing 2.5 yo DD, and also in pain during feeds! Only difference is that DD says there is still milk there (not sure I believe her though!) and though she'd dropped down to a feed a day a few weeks ago, she's suddenly upped them again (3 or 4 today, poss 5) and will also happily nurse for 45 min or so first thing in the morning (fine by me, I can doze :)).

My MW hasn't actually told me to stop but both she and HV (have recently moved to new area so had introductory meeting) seemed to suggest (or expect maybe?) that I might want to wind it up soon. Having said that, my dad, who is a retired GP, asked what I was going to do when DC2 gets here - pointed out that, um, I have two breasts!

I won't mind too much if DD stops, though not looking likely tbh, and I'd quite like to give tandem feeding a shot, partly out of sheer curiosity , partly because I've read about benefits.

But to repeat everyone else, I don't think there's any reason you should stop if you don't want to (wittering now, sorry, time for bed )

Thanks everyone.

Yes, I'm just puzzled as to the reasons. She muttered something about the milk being suited to the baby. I didn't press her, but maybe she meant

I have had one friend tell me that I should be careful as nipple stimulation can trigger miscarriage or premature birth. I can find no evidence of this.

Perhaps, as you say, it's the rarity of it and the deep-seated unease some people even pro-bf HCPs have regarding feeding beyond a 'seemly' age. WHO says two and beyond but maybe that just seems a little rich. I know it would have to me before I had a baby (I was in the get to 6 months and then stop camp before actually having a baby). One of the midwives in question was pregnant herself.

I sort of want to carry on, and I half know that even if she were to really wind down now she'd take one look at a nursing baby and want it herself!

I may be having an elective section and it would be great to have a good way to really bring the milk in. But the main reason is so that my daughter (who in the early days as a tiny baby born at 8 months fed 18 hours out of 24 on a number of occasions) doesn't feel shunted away.

Good luck everyone and kudos to the tandemers and their kids!

Oops, "but maybe she meant ... that it would confuse my body to have a toddler AND a baby and it would interfere with the production of newborn-suitable milk?

I'm just second-guessing her here. Maybe she just thinks it's wrong

Breastfeeding produces oxytocin which is also the hormone that makes you go into labour, so there used to be concerns that it could send you into premature labour but it's now been shown that it doesn't send you into labour unless you're actually ready iyswim (another reason for me to keep going, went two weeks overdue with DD!). Or something like that. Perhaps that's what they meant (and almost certainly what your friend meant).

I did use nipple stimulation to try to kickstart labour last time (when overdue) and read somewhere that stimulating both nipples at once causes distress to the baby (??) - not sure whether it counts when DD is nursing and twiddling, but that causes distress to me!

The milk will be suitable for your baby. The body recognises that you are having a new baby, and will produce colostrum (won't do the toddler any harm, but try to make sure that the baby gets as much of this as possible) and then newborn milk. The milk will then change in accordance with your baby's needs, just like it would if were having a baby without already bf. The toddler will simply get baby milk, so less fatty than previously. :) Do feel free to mention all of this to the hcp's next time you see them. If their training doesn't educate them then we will have to!

I'm another tandem feeder, fed DD1 the whole way through my pregnancy with DD2.

I found that older MWs were a bit less encouraging, I've been told by some mums with older DCs that they were told to stop BF during pregnancy so maybe that was the standard advice back then. The 2 younger MWs I saw were very encouraging although they didn't know much about tandem feeding. The book mentioned further up the thread is full of great info.

And yes, tandem feeding has definitely helped DD1 cope with the arrival of DD2, I sit and feed them both on the sofa and DD1 holds DD2's hand, it's sooo sweet

I give this warning to everyone feeding during pregnancy though- toddler colostrum poo is minging.

CantSleepWontSleep, I do remember :) Nice to hear your nurslings are doing well. Yes, still nursing three here, still hoping DD1 will self wean shortly (she just laughs at the suggestion)

OP, With my third child, she was born with severe jaundice (HDN) and I was so grateful to be nursing her siblings as my milk came in very fast. Helped her to get better much faster.

I agree with EauRouge colostrum really affects the older nurselings poo. Very stinky and sloppy but once the milk turns up everything goes back to normal.

DS1 fed all through my pregnancy even though the milk dried up for several weeks.

Although tandem nursing can be a complete pain in the arse at times, I can totally see how it helped with the sibling jealousy.

Your dd might stop of her own accord once the milk is gone, or she might now. Or she might stop then ask to start again. Perhaps the thing to do might be to just keep an open mind and go with the flow.

Good luck

IME Midwives know very little about tandem nursing/nursing while pregnant. Has anyone recommended adventures in tandem nursing yet?

I'm another tandem nurser (25 months now, getting a wee bit bored with it) and foundt he milk went at around 17-18 weeks pg but DS2 wasn't put off. It's okay, bit intense at times though.

Thanks all.

Yes, I ask her if there's much milk and she shakes her head and tells me that 'it really doesn't matter'

sigh ;)

Any tips from anyone for dealing with the unbelievable nipple pain? :( I thought it was painful earlier on, then it seemed to get better, but the last couple of days have been absolute agony - had to beg DD to stop today :(

Unfortunately, she seems to have got the impression from somewhere that her nursing helps, so when she wants a feed and I say it hurts, she says "Shall I help make it better?" and I don't have the heart to tell her that it really doesn't help! I didn't want to blame the new baby because I didn't want her to resent it but have had to start telling her that they hurt because of the new baby today.

I did hand express a bit just to see if there was anything there and there was something but not sure whether it was milk or colostrum.

Only benefit is I got to practice my labour breathing while feeding her to sleep this evening (pain seems to come and go in waves)!

Dita, ouch, that sounds very painful.

I was lucky enough that I only had a few days of sensitive nipples during pregnancy, certainly not strong enough to watch my breathing. I knew a mum who had a lot off pain and she decided to temporary wean her toddler and reoffered when the baby arrived. In her case, the child decided not to restart nursing.

I assume you are watching her latch carefully and insisting on a 'big mouth', before she latches on.
You could try pain limitation, by limiting time at the breast. I have found that my toddler happily accepts a smaller 'count of 10' feed if I am busy or don't wish to have a longer nursing session where I am (i.e. Playgroup or school, church etc) Depending on how you feel, the count to 10 can be as fast as you like !

I hear what you are saying about not blaming the baby but on the other hand, you can still reduce amount or times of feeds and explain to your child that your nipples are poorly ATM, that nursing doesn't help (bless her for thinking so :) ) and that the nipples will be better in a few weeks/months and she can have more milk then.

Nothing wrong with altering your nursing relationship so out works on both sides and with less pain on your side.

HTH all the best :)

Thanks BE :) Don't want to sound like a martyr but she loves bfing so much that I feel terrible saying no to her. She does tend to accept "just two minutes" though; also pain seems to vary from time to time (eg usually not too bad first thing in the morning, thank god) so can always give it a go and then stop. Hopefully it will wear off or she'll lose interest :( not sure I can take another 20 weeks!

Latch seems to be okay and we have been doing "little shark mouth" :) Another problem is that she's suddenly started clamping down when she falls asleep on the boob - OOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Think I must be producing colostrum judging by her nappy this morning

Wow, you getting colostrum at 20 weeks? Blimey! I'll check the toilet tomorrow! I'm 20 weeks myself but she's not told me anything much is coming out.

This is one reason why I'd like to continue. Yes, it's painful (feels like she's drawing out the tubes inside my breast right out of the nipple) and I can only tolerate a minute each side. Any more than that and I feel an involuntary hand come up.

I'd like another elective section (I'm not all earth mother!) and it would be a great way of really bringing the milk in earnest.

Good luck DVC.

Honestly, in 2.5 years of nappy changing, this morning's was by far the worst. Plus usually she only poops once a day at most but there were three today It was really mucousy and she's been snotty (for weeks now!) so hoping it's that rather than colostrum. This is seriously the most compelling reason I've had for weaning so far! Perhaps we should give potty training another go.

Maybe it is a bit early for colostrum. Last time definitely had it at 28 weeks, because I realised I was leaking the morning of a wedding and had to panic buy breast pads. Think I'm 22-24 weeks now but maybe still a bit early.

Good luck to you too :)

otchayaniye - is the pain deep in your breast then, if it feels like she's sucking the tubes out?!

I had that kind of feeling when ds1 was pretty much dry sucking before the colostrum came in, and I am fairly sure it was thrush. I had a right old dose of it down below during the pregnancy. I felt a tugging when he fed, deep inside the breast which was often sore, but not to the extent that you describe. Sounds nasty

I am feeling very lucky that ds1 didn't get the awful colostrum poo. I wonder why not? He was 4 by the time the colostrum came in. Maybe it was just because he was bigger, dunno.

Has anyone else had experience of feeding a younger toddler when pregnant? I'm 10w and my supply took a real dip at first but seems to have stabilised a bit now. But I'm preparing myself for it to drop again mid-pregnancy. How will I explain this to DD who's only just 13m now? It's worrying me already I suppose she may just lose interest and self-wean.

scones - I was pregnant again before ds1 was a year, so not at all dissimilar to you. I think my supply did dip, but on the bright side ds1 stopped night waking at 15 months, quite possibly because the milk volume wasn't worth waking for! He continued to nurse a couple of times a day throughout the pregnancy, though I have no idea how much he got, and he still nurses now that the new baby is 8 months, so obv didn't do him any harm :).