1 week old and lost all confidence,

[chocogirl77]

When my baby was 2 days old she went on a cluster feeding session that lasted 9 hours, at the end of which I was crying in pain.

She then started feeding erratically which the midwifes in hospital assured me was ok. I saw my community midwife on Thursday who told me I was feeding incorrectly as she went 7.5 hours between feeds overnight but was feeding hourly during the day to compensate and my Bf co-ordinator told me to feed every 2 hours.

My baby will not feed every two hours, so I've just ended up bottle feeding for the past 3 days at most feeds, I now have an unhappy baby with 5 or 6 dirty nappies a day, and my mood is all over the place as I feel like I'm failing her as I managed to BF DD1 for a year, does anyone have any advice?

I'm going back to a BF cafe today to ask for help to get re-established if possible as she now has nipple confusion.

Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, I've just been up all night unsuccessfully trying to get her to feed from the breast.

Oh, you poor love.

I don't really understand why you've switched to bottles if your baby won't feed every two hours? Do you mean it's caused your supply to drop? Or do you mean she wants to feed every hour, and so you're using bottles?

It doesn't sound like it's too late to sort this out, it's great that you're asking for help. You're doing brilliantly, it sounds like you're doing the right things but getting conflicting advice.

FWIW, my thoughts at this stage are always "feed as often as the baby wants to feed" and if she's pooing 5 or 6 times a day, you're doing well.

Hi
Hopefully someone with more knowledge wil be along soon but at this time of the morning you might have to put up with me :)
9 hours is not normal, I don't think - unless there were some half hour/hour long breaks in that? (which is still very hard but would be 'normal' for a newborn.
You shoud not have been told to feed to schedule - even a 2hr one.
It sounds to me like you need to see an expert to get your latch checked - the BF cafe might be good for that. Obviously you have done this before but I think with an older baby it's easy to hav a lazy latch which you can then remember for your newborn - and being your second you probably got no help with bf this time (other than being told erratic feeding is fine)? Has anyone actually looked at your latch?

Other thing - you say she is unhappy even though she is being bottle fed, in what way is she unhappy? Could this be more than just a feeding issue?

Do you have a lot of practical help, especially with your older child?

Finally congratulations on your DD, and as an uber-pedant I will come back and pelt anyone who has a go at the grammar or spelling of a new mum of a one week old with my frozen breastmilk!

or my spelling and grammar - i have a sticky keyboard, honestly

and that was an x post with Tortoise, wasn't dismissing her :)

To start with the midwife was talking bollocks. She (the baby) is only a week old, will feed as and when she wants, hourly, half hourly, four hourly, whenever. I am suprised that the BF counselor told you to feed two hourly as well, thats a schedule, not demand feeding.
The nine hour frenzy was (oddly as it sure doesnt feel like it) a good sign, a baby that was telling your boobs what she wanted and getting the system up and going.
I am sure you will get her back on the boob if you relax a bit (being exhausted doesnt help) and follow your baby's demands - the signs that they are hungry that you know (having done this before), like fist sucking, that tell you she is hungry. Then do the proper latch, tummy to tummy, nipple to nose, wide open mouth and off she goes!
If it doesnt work for you, remember that it takes more than milk to make a mummy.

your milk may not have been in at 2 days hence the constant suckling

my milk didn't come in until day 3 and then it was different

a week old may not feed 2 hourly or they may - but trying to get a week old to do that is not helpful

to get back to the breast i would go for lots of skin to skin, feeding at every squeak - i know it can be hard with another child to consider but can you get some help?

get your latch checked and take things from there

don't feel you have failed - you haven't. Sounds like you haven't had the best support yet - all very well to say you are feeding incorrectly but then not help you remedy that

i found a great book was the "Food of Love" by Kate Evans - very reassuring about feeding

good luck

Cluster feeding at that age is normal - it's how your body is told to produce lots of milk for the LO!

While it can be an issue if a newborn starts trying to sleep through and so not feed for a long time, you say your LO was making up for it during the day, so I would question whether there was actually a problem. We had issues with DD being excessively sleepy, but she wasn't getting enough feeds in and her weight was dropping. If your LO feeds 8+ times a day, isn't dehydrated, and is putting on weight, I would really question the sense of objecting to them sleeping through despite their young age!

DD was sleeping through by 6 weeks and makes up for it in feeds during the day. But after our initial problems, her weight gain has been brilliant. My (amazingly good) HV said it's just what she does - she has to feed so frequently because she sleeps so much, but it's what she wants to do and it works for us!

And please, please do not make your LO wait for a feed. Just put her to the breast whenever she asks.

Why are you supplementing formula btw?

Agree that it is normal for them to want to be on the breast almost constantly before your milk comes in. 7.5 hours overnight is unusual for a newborn, but if she's feeding hourly the rest of the time then not necessarily a problem - if they were worried they could have just suggested you wake her once in the night for a feed rather than giving you a 2 hourly schedule.

not convinced that cluster feedig without a break for 9 hours is normal - I think it might indicate a latch problem

If it was every day then sure, but I certainly found that the longer it went before my milk cam in the more the baby suckled. By day three (milk came in day 4) I couldn't put him down at all.

However, if the OP is worried or still experiencing pain then it's certainly worth having latch checked and the baby checked for tongue-tie.

fair enough :)

My Ds did a couple of overnight cluster feeds as a newborn. The midwife said it wasn't normal but with some reassurance on here I ignored her and carried on.

Op you have my sympathy - you must be utterly exhausted. I hope you're being looked after. Bf is an excellent idea for some rl support, as is coming to vent on here. I hope things start to improve soon.

Sorry, I meant that going to a bf cafe is a great idea.

OP you poor thing, really hope you have someone looking after you!

Just put her to the breast whenever she wants, forget the bottles. Do go to the BF cafe, hopefully they can help you.

Does your hospital have anyone who specialises in BFing? Ours had a couple of specialist midwives who were brilliant at sorting latch/supply etc problems and we could use them up until the baby was a month old.

DD2 used to cluster feed on a night for at least 3 hours. In the beginning it was painful but it helped my milk come in and the bigger she got the easier it was.
Your dd is only a week old and if she is small she may have problems with her latch. DD3 was tiny and her mouth was only just big enough to go over my nipple. Her latch was lousy for a week or two until she grew a little and she could comfortably 'get a mouthful' of breast.

If you can, stop the bottle feeding as you are only going to confuse her and the more bottles you use the more your supply will diminish.

Thanks for all your messages, I missed the BF cafe as she decided to feed for the 2 hours it was on, luckily there are more tomorrow.

I supplimented with formula as I felt that as I couldn't wake her to feed her every two hours I was somehow starving her, she also has mild jaundice so could make her ill if I couldn't get enough milk down her, as I said earlier my confidence has pretty much gone.

I just wish I was left alone to muddle my way through it, as didn't even consider formula feeding until both the midwife and feeding consultant told me she wasn't feeding enough ( at the time 8- 10 feeds a day 30 minutes to an hour on the breast) because she likes to sleep at night.

I'm going to continue to offer her the breast at every meal and I gain a bit of confidence each time she takes it, but when she doesn't during the night feeds the rejection is hard.

In terms of bottle feeding, as soon as I know my latch is right tomorrow I'm planning to drop the bottles completely and with my DH's help have a "baby moon" for the rest of the week to get my milk up.

I'll let you all know how I got on and thanks again.

You poor thing :(
Ds was just like this - his second night, he had an all night feeding session, then when my milk came in he went too long between feeds because he was jaundiced.
I did a nappy change and quick strip off (Ds, not me!) every hour or so to get him feeding more. Most times, he'd go straight back to sleep, but after a couple of days he did start to feed more.
We used to do skin to skin every evening to encourage more feeding.
After a couple of weeks he was more awake and settled into a better pattern (and started waking up more at night)
Hope you get it all sorted out xx

I hate how much healthcare professionals knock new Mums confidence. They did it to me - I was really lucky to have an amazingly supportive DH, a background in looking up health information, an NCT BFC and a random infant feeding specialist MW I saw by chance once.

Breast rejection is really tough, but try to see it as your LO's only way of saying "I'm not hungry Mum!".