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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

EBF and feeling isolated

15 replies

bouncychair · 20/03/2011 08:45

My DS is 5 weeks old and I'm EBF. I'm really determined to continue until he is at least 6 months but I am feeling really isolated - in the sense that I am the only one that can feed my DS and everytime he crys everyone just passes him back to me and says 'oh he must be hungry'. A lot of the time he is but i'm just feeling exhausted.

(This is not helped as DP got 9 hours sleep last night and I had the worst night with DS since he was born).

I've got a lot of support in other ways but it is so tempting to give him some formula just so I can get some sleep and other people can help me with the feeding!

I know this won't go on for ever but please tell me I'm not the only one to feel like this!

OP posts:

Tarlia · 20/03/2011 09:36

I could have written this post. My LO seems to always want to eat while awake too, which has made me obsess over his latch. I've now convinced myself it's awful, but he gains around 200-300g a week so I know he is eating!

I'm getting a bit paranoid about going out as I'm scared he will wake and scream to be fed in places where it's not possible, it's rather depressing.

Oh and funnily enough, my LO is 5 weeks too.

Hope it improves for the both of us soon!

Zimm · 20/03/2011 11:08

Bless you both, this is sadly normal for five week olds :-( Can either of you express so your DP's can give a night bottle? I personally wouldn't worry about waiting til 6 weeks to avoid nipple confusion or whatever, if it; only an occasional bottle to give you a break! Make sure the DP's are doing all the housework, bringing you drinks etc.

This stage does pass, before you know it!

GracieGirl · 20/03/2011 16:11

I too could have written that post!! Just because the feeding is your job, suddenly everything else is your job too.

Talk to your DP. He needs to take on the other jobs. My DD is 14 months and never did take a bottle. Worth a go though!

Your DP can change nappies and bring your baby to you for feeding, and do the settling again afterwards. If your DP has to work the next day getting up once or twice won't hurt. I'm back at work now and I survive a day at work after getting up in the night! It only fair to share!

Have you mastered breastfeeding lying down? Trust me it's a godsend!!

It really does get easier, I promise!! We wouldn't still be breastfeeding if it didn't!

mamacorner · 20/03/2011 17:33

Same for me, my LO is 5 week's yesterday and if awake wants feeding, and seems ,to me, to mainly be awake!!.
I've tried to do various normal life things(supermarket shops etc), and they turn into a marathon of feed stops and crying sessions and are very stressful.
I feel like the only thing i acheive in a day is feeding the baby.If I could sit at home all day with the LO attached we'd both be extremely happy!!!Unfortunately two older DC's and a DP working unsociable hours make it almost impossible.

I'm sure it gets easier, we just need patience(or so i keep pep-talking myself!) I find custard donuts, tea and mumsnet help as a quick fix.

japhrimel · 20/03/2011 18:22

Expressing is always an option. And make partners and visitors help by bringing you drinks (and company) while you feed.

Plus get out and about as much as possible - just don't stress about needing to feed when out. I have to accept that doing a Tesco shop can now take 2 hours as DD might want feeding, but if she does, we just go to the cafe so I can enjoy a coffee and the paper at the same time!

Muser · 20/03/2011 18:38

My daughter will be 5 weeks on Tuesday and I also seem to be feeding her nearly constantly. The last 3 days have been epic. Luckily for me she sleeps well.

My husband helps by changing all the nappies when he's at home, fetching me whatever I need, and preparing all the meals. I try and do the dishes during the day if I can. But if I can't he does it or it gets left a bit longer.

It's easy for me to think I've done nothing all day, but it's not true. I've been providing for my daughter, which is my job right now. My job is to help her grow, if that means sitting on the sofa all day then that's what we do. I do always try to get out during the day, one day it was just a walk to the post box about 5 mins away. But it was something.

At least now you know you're not the only one dealing with this. If people pass you the baby make sure they then do something else instead. You shouldn't be trying to run the house at the same time.

Original poster

bouncychair · 20/03/2011 18:55

Thanks for all your replies - it is nice to know I am not the only one feeling this way! I've expressed some milk today so DP will have a go at feeding him. Hopefully he will take it!

OP posts:

pinkyp · 20/03/2011 19:51

it gets so much easier my ds started sleeping longer stretches at night from 8 weeks, he'd go 12am to 8am sometimes so there is light at the end of the tunnel hang in there :)

RitaMorgan · 20/03/2011 20:23

I never bothered expressing or bottle feeding, but the deal was I do feeding, DP does everything else. I was fine with DP getting an undisturbed night, but I would go to bed early and leave the baby with DP to get a couple of hours in first, and then DP would get up with him in the morning so I'd get another hour or two lie-in.

Even though you are doing all the feeding, the baby won't starve in 2-3 hours if your DP takes him out for a walk - so don't feel you can't send them out for an afternoon together while you get a bit of rest!

RitaMorgan · 20/03/2011 20:25

Oh yes, and I second the suggestion to have the baby in bed with you and feed lying down - much less tiring.

harverina · 20/03/2011 20:38

bouncychair, like you, one of the hardest things I found about breastfeeding was the fact that only I could do it! In the first months I was forever moaning at my poor DH and cursing him during the night...it was not his fault and he was fab at helping out in every other way...but breastfeeding can be really hard in the early days.

I can promise you that it does get easier. My DD is a year old in a couple of weeks and looking back I think that we turned a breastfeeding corner at around 6-7 weeks. It was around this point that my DD started to go a little longer in between feeds. She started to feed roughly every 2.5 hours which gave me a little extra free time to shower/eat/put on some make up! It also made going out a little easier as we could plan a little.

mamacorner, I can totally empathise with you...I remember feeling so stressed out being out and about - one minute my DD was lying contentedly, the next she was screaming for a feed, me sweating looking for somewhere to go!

My advice OP is, like many others, accept help in other areas from everyone else. Let people do the nappy changing, occasional bathtime, cooking and cleaning. Don't be too proud to say yes to help. Try and make some time for yourself once a day. I tried to go for a bath most days with a magazine. Even to get half an hour on my own made a HUGE difference.

Expressing is a good way of getting some time to yourself - just make sure that your supply isnt affected by doing this too much. I remember the first time that I left my DD with my DH with an expressed bottle. I went to the shops for a couple of hours on my own and it was bliss...apart from the fact that my boobs leaked and tinglesd every time I heard another baby cry!

becauseibloodysaidso · 21/03/2011 22:19

I found co-sleeping and feeding laying down on my side made so much difference this time round...although DS sometimes feeds 4 times during the night I barely bother to rouse and am back asleep probably before he is. just clear the bed, wear sweatpants to keep yourself warm, whatever it takes to stop you worrying about smothering.. plonk baby in centre of bed cradled in your armpit and go back to sleep! One day very soon you will treasure the fact that only you can share these intimate moments with your little one. I do this in the daytime as well to sneak in a little power nap here and there.

Cosmosis · 22/03/2011 09:57

At about 5 weeks I started expressing and occassionaly I would go to bed while DH kept DS downstairs and give him the 10ish feed while I got some sleep. We did this every week or 10 days and it made a huuuge difference to how I felt.

Also I found if I went out, he would either sleep better or look around at things, so go longer between feeds which gave me a bit of a break from feeling like boobs on legs.

UnfortunateUsername · 22/03/2011 22:17

DP started giving an expressed feed at 10pm at about this age with us. Meant I could go to bed early and get a couple of hours sleep before the first night feed, or just veg out and have some precious me time. He also used to do all of the night time nappy changes etc.

I think it was also about this time that she started dropping night feeds, which makes it much easier.

It sounds like you're doing a fantastic job so far and things really should just get easier from here on in. Some of the nicest memories I have of dd as a newborn are her little eyes peeping up at me in the semi-dark as I gave her a feed in the middle of the night and then giving her a little cuddle against my chest just before I put her back down in her cot.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/03/2011 22:36

The horrible, horrible responsibility. I felt that too. However, as they get older, feeding is not all they want to do and DH can do everything else. I also expressed and she had a bottle from very early here. No nipple confusion and I can nap when DH is home. I don't have him do night feeds because I express in the mornings and find that the sleepy hormones on my night milk do help. However, having a few bottles in the fridge or freezer means that there is another option if Mummy has had enough!

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