3 feeding issues - please help!

[EmmieA]

DS (13 weeks) had an expressed bottle every 10pm feed until about 2 weeks ago when we didn't do it for about a week because he wasn't taking much and we thought better to BF. Now he will not have a bottle at all. I've tried all the obvious but he either chews it if he's not particularly hungry or screams if he is. I really need him to take a bottle so I can have a break now and again. Any ideas? I've tried all the obvious.

Another issue is the fact he doesn't sleep at night. He is golden baby in the day and doesn't need a lot of sleep but he wakes all through the night and we can't get him to go back down. Should I be trying to get him to sleep more or less in the day? He was born 10lba nd is now 18lb so is ready or at least he should be.

Lastly, what is the general view about their last feeds? Should I, for example, be waking him at 10pm/10.30pm to feed him or wait till he wakes. I've tried both ways and really am not sure.

THANK YOU

You might want to try different types of bottles: NUK, BreastFLow, Closer to Nature, have worked for some people.

Not sure about the last feed.

Don't worry about sleeping. You baby may or may not be a good sleeper, it doesn't mean you are a good or not good mum! (i.e it's great if they sleep all night but don't berate yourself if they don't)

Congrats on your baby.

Hi.

1. Needing a break - could you find a way round this? eg, feed him and hand him over to your dp/mum for a few hours? Or try different bottles/environments/positions.

1. Are you trying to settle him in his cot or with you? He might just have a need to be near you at night (my second does!) Or he might be over tired as you say he doesn't sleep much anyway? Just an idea. Also, they sometimes need to feed in the night for reasons other then fodd iyswim, ie to be close to you or to soothe them. It is normal for babies to need night feeds through their first year tbh. Not all do, obviously, but many do.

1. Waking didn't work ofr me with eother ffed ds1 or bf ds2, but some find it helps. Try it and see if you want? Personally, there is NO WAY I would wake ds2 as it is so bloody hard getting him off to sleep in the first place, lol!

Oh and wrt overtiredness, some people find more naps = more night sleep.
Trial and error really.
Imo good sleepers are born, not made. I got one of each!

Hiya

1. I would try a tommee Tippee closer to nature bottle as they are designed to be like a breast. Is the milk you are offering at the same temp of breast milk. Keep the bottle familiar to him and don't be anxious with it cos he'll pick it up.

1. I would say he was over tired. What times does he wake and sleep through out the day?

1. What does he eat throughout the day? The feed your talking about should be a "dream feed" which means you offer the feed bit sombre actually wake him.

If he's waking a lot in the night but isn't hungry, I'd say he's overtired - he probably needs at least 3 hours of daytime naps.

How many feeds a day does he have, and how many at night? I'd guess 2-3 nightfeeds at this stage. Lots of babies do their longest stretch of sleep from bedtime, and giving a "dreamfeed" may not alter this. My ds was sleeping 7pm-3am, then waking for feeds at 5am and 7am. I tried doing an 11pm feed in the hope of getting a longer stretch from my bedtime, but he still woke for a feed at 3am.

WRT sleeping, sounds like he's overtired to me, too. I'd try and increase his day time naps - which is easier said than done, but it's worth it. DD sleeps much better at night when she's had plenty of sleep during the day.

With my DD, 11 weeks old, the better her day naps are the better her night sleep. Sometimes it's hard to get her to sleep in the day - I have to swaddle her etc and really not give up until she sleeps. Hope you have success getting the bottle accepted, sorry no ideas on that one.

By "obvious" do you include different bottles, warm milk, DH doing it when you're not there...? Have you tried just leaving him for a few hours - he could go that long without a feed.

I'm not sure why his weight is relevant to sleeping through. Some babies do easily, some don't and will need night feeds for a long time.

The book 'the no-cry sleep solution' is very helpful - lots of sensible suggestions of things to try, along with how much sleep and naps babies should get (on average) at different ages.

We found that overtiredness means bad nights for sure.

Dream feeds work for some, not for others. For us it just messed up DD's long sleep, so we now don't bother no matter when she goes to bed (we mostly follow her lead on bedtime).

I don't think weight has anything to do with it.

Concentrate on daytime naps, ime better daytime sleep equals better nightime sleep.

I have always done a dreamfeed and it always worked for my two. DH would pick them up about 10.30 and do the feed, most of the time they stayed asleep and fed. But each baby is different and I really think it's trial and error.

Whatever you try, do the same thing at the same time for about a week. If it's not working after a week abandon it and try something different - or nothing at all of course! Don't chop and change and be inconsistant

Hi, thanks all. Just wanted to re-post and say I'd read somewhere to try the first feed of the day. So this morning I fed him at 5am and then DH got up at 7am with his and then he took a bottle at 9am, I wasn't even downstairs and he hadn't been with me fir a few hours. He has taken 2 more bottles since. I've also been making milk a little warmer. Result!