Help! 7 mth old feeding like a newborn at night!

[blackcurrants]

DS is 33 weeks, and shovels quite a lot of solids in (doing BLW since 26 weeks, have had 'solid poo' for the last 2) and seems pretty happy with life.

He's become really clingy at night, though. He's never been a good sleeper -at his best was waking at 1 and 3am, at his worst, every 45 minutes (I cried a lot that week). we have a cot with the side off attached securely to a single bed, and I lie in that to feed him off to sleep, then creep back to our bed OR, if just knackered, roll over in the single and sleep there.

In the last couple of weeks DS has never gone into deep sleep, and I've struggled to unlatch him and creep out of the room. He's woken flailing for boob long after he's gone from feeding to comfort sucking, and even when he seems soundly asleep he wakes up and squirms back to me. He's also kicking his legs up and gripping onto my hip, grabbing me with his hands, and generally wanting to be a barnacle at night.

He gets about 5-6 full BFs during the day and lots of cuddle and carry time (though he's not that interested and would rather be on the floor with his toys) so I've no idea why he's suddenly such a limpet at night, but I'm getting really tired!

Does anyone have any tips? I don't want to leave him to cry, but am contemplating sending dh in with a bottle of ebm for some of the wakings, and seeing if DS is less clingy if there's no boob in it for him. . . DH has next week off work, actually, so that might be a plan. Any idea why he might be so clingy at the moment?

that sounds really tough...totally exhausting. sometimes the only way to know for sure what's up now is when you look back and it all seems to click into place. This age could be so many things, such as teething, being more aware of the world, aching arms and legs from crawling and general growing pains.

One way to help with baby wanting lots of milk at night is to step up feeds in the day or cluster feed in the evening or any time that works for you. Basically trying to get feeds in when it's a good time for you with the idea that he'll have gotten more of the milk he needs within the 24hr period at a time that is better for you rather than night time as he doesn't care if it's middle of the night as he's getting naps in the day time!

Also, making your sleep a priority for a week, so when your DH is off for a week, not only getting him to help with nappies and laundry and food, roping him into a plan that you both agree where you get as much rest in the day as you can so that you can recharge your batteries.

More milk for DS and more rest for you might help you cope better with this challenging time

good luck!

it IS really hard to feed him during the day, he's so bloody distracted by everything. We lie down in a darkened room to feed, and he STILL pulls off every 2 minutes to gaze at the doorway, the ceiling, etc....

sigh
Oh well. I don't have next week off, (though DH does, so no daycare and much fun for DS) but I will certainly hope to get some more rest!

being distracted will pass too...or try something nearby to distract him but stay on the boob? like a nursing necklace or similar. sounds like you are aware of what helps with distracted baby, such as dark room etc...it can be tough but it will pass as well. g

et as much rest and help around the house, but don't expect DH to be a mind reader...have a time set aside to go through it all with him, better to do that before the time off than be resentful of all that didn't get done and tell him after...something i struggle with but we have a wed night date night now and it's really useful to just go through the day to day stuff as well as trying to be a couple too (how romantic, do we sound, not!)

is he about to do something developmental? sometimes they get a bit like this before crawling or walking or something that is quite a big deal for them...

if so, it'll pass just as you think you can't take anymore

I think he might be, Peanutdream - he's trying really hard to crawl AND stand up - flailing all over the place at night, thank heavens for sleeping bags as he won't keep a blanket on...

You're right, Chocolatehelps - I really do need to talk to DH about what I need rather than hope he'll intuit things and then seethe when he doesn't and plays xbox instead. He puts DS in the jumperoo and then 'they' play xbox together! I'm all PFB about it and don't think he should be watching the screen, but I must admit they do seem to have a fine old time together!

always such a tricky one, we all want Dad to get on with DC's in his own way and find his own way...but we also want the tea on the table for the kids at the right time and not to have the place look like a bombsite! funnily enough, i'm getting to type this as DH is helping DD1 to fall asleep and looks like he too has fallen asleep! his own style of helping with the bedtime routine! LOL

hi black currants, once he has mastered it, he'll probably relax.

in the meantime, try and do anything you can to maximise sleep for everyone. i co slept for a couple of nights to get some rest and surprisingly it did work, and ds seemed to get alot from the closeness and extra milk . also give him opportunities to practice in the day - put toys just out of reach and really encourage him to go for them. they will do it in their own time but i reckon you can provide opportunities for them to practice.

good luck .

I really recommend the book 'the no-cry sleep solution' by Elizabeth Pantley.

It may be that your LO is getting to a less secure age as he developmentally gets to grips with the concept of being a seperate individual. It also might be that he's worried because he falls asleep on you in bed and when he wakes up (and it's total normal for babies to have night wakenings - the issue is if they can't settle themselves) you're not there at all so he panics and thinks he can't get back to sleep. Elizabeth Pantley really recommends putting babies to bed sleepy not asleep so they realise they can fall asleep not attached to you. Just a few things to consider...

Another vote for No-Cry Sleep Solution.

Developmental stuff will definitely have an effect. There's also a big (brain) developmental spurt at 37 weeks so that might be affecting it as sleep gets messed up beforehand. (Info here, here and here.)

Separation anxiety often kicks in around this point.

Naps may be having an effect too - IME too short or not enough naps can lead to that sort of behaviour at night. Most babies that age have 2 or 3 naps a day.

I'd stick with temporarily co-sleeping till it improves a bit, which like peanut says, will probalby happen just before you're about to put him up for adoption.

Thanks for your advice, Ladies - Hiya TSC - glad to hear from another brave sleepwarrior!

it's been REALLY hard to get him to nap recently, and that might explain some of the broken sleep behaviour. And I've got the weekend to waft boob at him all day in the hopes that he gets more milk then. Interestingly, I nurse him to sleep before a nap and at bedtime, but recently at naptime (after an eyerub or yawn we whisk him to the bedroom sharpish) he's fed for a bit and then pulled off and WAILED in frustration. Perhaps crying cos he's not asleep yet? I'm a bit lost when this happens, because he then absolutely refuses to feed any more, and basically cries until we get him up. I've laid next to him patting and shusshing and trying to get him on the boob for aaages and even walked up and down with him (like a newborn) shushing and singing and humming and cursing - and I think we've missed some naps that way, because eventually I give up and we sit up and do something else, and he's happy as a lark again. BUT missed a nap.....

I wondered if he was moving from 3 a day to 2 a day but in the last few days he's had 2 patchy catnaps at best, rather than 3 x1 hour+ naps. Cracking the nap problem might help me with the night problem, but I've no idea how if he's crying and refusing to feed. . .

I've read (and lost!) the NCSS and we use a lot of her ideas - pulling off the boob before properly asleep, trying not to let him get overtired, etc.

aand he woke up (10pm my time, third waking since he went to bed at 7..argh!) before I finished my post. Meant to add: Angeldog, I love your sleep regression/developmental spurt know-how! it's SO damn reassuring! :)
Thank you all.

Based on the fact that I'm a huggermugger co-sleepery no-crying-alone type, what do you think of my idea of getting DH to do some of the soothing-to-sleep-without-boob stuff this coming week. Do you think it's a horrendous idea and I should just ride this out, or worth a go?
My end goal is for him to learn to get himself back to sleep when he wakes up in the night, specially since I know he's not always crying for ME, he's mainly crying cos he's awake and knackered and can't get back to sleep...
I just don't know how to GET to that goal, specially without him crying... Argh!

blackcurrants sorry to hear about your problems. Took me ages with DD to work out naptimes.

When she is ready for a nap we go up to her room and I close the blind. Offer a boob and she may or may not take it. She then wails and struggles to sit up. If I sit her up and let her lean into me she immediately gets sleepy then I lay her back into my arms and gently pop her into her cot and keep my hand on her shoulder until she is properly asleep.

What I really wanted to say is that DD wails quite a bit before she just drifts off to sleep. Sounds dreadfully distressing but it is normal for her. I used to just give up and she ended up overtired but now I know that this is just what she does. Could this be the same for your LO?

The sleep regression stuff has certainly saved my sanity!

I agree with UKSky - some babies do just need to cry. You can read more here, here and here.

You can get to the point too when feeding to sleep no longer works - sounds like this might your problem in the day. Feeding to sleep stopped working for naps for DS at 8 months, although it still works if he's overtired. I rock him instead - we have a bouncy type chair (Ikea Poang) and I hold him upright and rock till he drops off, then put him down.