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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BF routine for 5 weeks old...please have a look and give me your advice!

31 replies

suzym1984 · 15/03/2011 16:29

Hi!

I have received excellent advice on this forum before so I am posting here, sorry if its not the appropriate place!

I am BF my 5 week old DS and its going well, hes gainning weight etc. However, I have so much "advice" from friends and relatives that by now he should be taking 4 oz every 4 hours etc. He tends to want to cluster feed on an evening, every 40 mins sometimes, and my mam says that I am obviously overfeeding him! All the "advice" is getting me stressed and making me doubt feeding on demand etc.

So far our routine is as follows:

Feed on demand throughout the day, usually every 2 hours< sometimes more, and he usually has a couple of naps in the day, not at set times tho.

He cluster feeds from around 5pm to about 8pm and again I feed on demand,

I then go to bed at about 8.30 and leave DH with a bottle of expressed milk which he gives whenever DS wants it, about 10-11.

Then DH brings DS up to bed at 12, I give a quick feed (I suspect just to soothe him). and then he sleeps until 3.30 for a feed and change.

He then sleeps until about 6-6.30 when he wakes for another feed. He then tends to be up for the day.

Does this routine sound OK for his age? Should I be trying to stretch his feeds to every 4 hours? Maybe putting him down earlier?

ARRRRRR I hate doubting myself like this!

Thanks for reading this ridiculously long post

OP posts:

ethelina · 15/03/2011 16:35

Sounds ok to me. BF babies are meant to demand feed cos they take different amounts at different times. Just feed when he asks and it will be fine. He will not overfeed.

He is already settling to his own routine, much easier all round to stick with it til it changes of his own accord. Which it will do.

Be confident in yourself.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 15/03/2011 16:35

I have to say that what you are doing sounds great. If it is suiting you all (which it sounds like it is), then why change anything.

I also think the whole 4oz every 4 hours is a formula mentality, not a bf'ing one.

Ignore everyone's (conflicting!) advice and do what seems right to you

jesieb · 15/03/2011 16:37

At 5 weeks he should be feeding every 3 hours, his tummy is still tiny and empties quickly. So if your looking for a routine, right now it should be a 3 hour one.

Feeding on demand is a personal preference as is having a routine.
You need to follow your gut and do what is right for you and your baby. NOT what is right for others.

And your LO is putting on weight which proves he is getting enough and that you are doing a fab fab job! So please no doubting your fantastic mummy skills!

What do YOU want him to do?

lorisparkle · 15/03/2011 16:39

5 weeks is very young still and feeding on demand is great. Your day sounds very similar to how my LOs have been at that age. I found that with DS1 it wasn't until he was a couple of months that I started more of a routine and that it got easier when he was weaning to have more of a structure to the day.

However with DS2 and DS3 they have had much more of a structured day because that is how it has had to be with older children as well. I found looking at the Baby Whisperer books very useful to get some ideas for giving the day more of a routine but don't get hung up on routines and timings they are little for such a short time you have to enjoy it. The Gina Ford books can also be useful but definitely don't get hung up on her timings and expressing. I just read them took the bits I liked then went with the flow!

Sounds like the 'advice' you are getting is more for a bottle fed child - you can't over feed a BF baby!

Sounds like you have a great DH as well!!!!

Wigeon · 15/03/2011 16:41

Afraid you are going to get two responses:

your baby should be on a routine of feeding every x hours
your baby is only 5 weeks old - you should feed him whenever he wants - he isn't capable of messing you about - if he wants feeding, he needs feeding and it's a genuine need.

I fall into the second camp. I think even the most "routine-happy" parent wouldn't think a 5 week old should go 4 hours without food though - they have tiny tiny stomachs and need feeding more often. Personally I think it would be crackers to make your 5 week old go for 4 hours without a feed. They would probably be crying for at least 1 or 2 of those hours!

The sleeping sounds amazing for a 5 week old by the way - just to let you know it might not last, and don't worry if it doens't.

Cluster feeding in the evening is totally normal, and a BF baby at 5 weeks can't be "overfed".

By the way, do you know this website: Kelly mom? This is the page on cluster feeding but there's load of other evidence-based advice you might find useful.

By the way, how on earth do those advising you think you can measure 4oz if you are BF? You can't - which is why it's even more important that you demand feed because then you can be sure that your baby is getting exactly what he needs (some feeds he might take more than others, and there isn't necessarily a link between length of feed and amount taken in that feed).

Good luck - sounds like you are doing brilliantly.

lorisparkle · 15/03/2011 16:58

I have to say you can have a gentle structure to the day and demand feed as well. I found DSs sleepy signals sometimes got confused with their hungry signals so having a gentle and flexible routine really helped me. I do agree thought that you should go with what you think is right for your family!!!

TittyBojangles · 15/03/2011 17:30

Sounds pretty much like my DS's day at that age. Did your Mum bf? If not then this will obviously influence the 'volume' suggestions for milk. If your DS is thriving, and YOU are happy, the HV etc have no concerns then I think you can quite happily ignore the 'helpful' advice.

VeronicaCake · 15/03/2011 17:45

What you are doing sounds great. You don't need advice. He is 5 weeks old which means he is going to change loads over the next few months. You could agonise over getting him into a routine for now, only have to repeat the exercise all over again in a couple of weeks. Or you could allow him to set the pace for this period, and gently adjust as he gets older.

4 hour spacing only works with big bottles of formula which fill them up for longer. I don't know any bf babies that regularly go 4 hours between feeds. DD was more like 1.5-2.5 hrs until we introduced solids.

I found cluster-feeding sapped my confidence in breast-feeding a bit and I'm sure the over-feeding comments don't help. But you know that it is normal healthy behaviour already so that is good.

AppleAndBlackberry · 15/03/2011 17:54

I would personally at some point in the next few weeks/months start putting him to bed after the cluster feeding finishes at 8 so that he doesn't get used to being up til midnight but there's no rush to do this.

Feeding timings sound fine, they will feed a lot in the evenings at this age to increase your milk supply so don't worry about volumes or over feeding.

japhrimel · 15/03/2011 18:00

Bfing and routines don't go together very well until it's your LO leading the routine. Actually, IMO babies and routines don't go together great - I hate nothing so much as to see a baby screaming because "it's too early for a feed".

And how many adults do you know you eat the same amount of calories/nutrients at every meal? None, right? So why should babies have exactly the same amount at every feed. Not that you can measure when bfing!

Sounds like you're doing great. I'd be tempted to tell relatives giving that kind of advice that you're breastfeeding - which is best for your LO - and breastfeeding doesn't work like that.

Moulesfrites · 15/03/2011 18:01

This sounds pretty much exactly what my ds does and he is 7 weeks old. The best advice I got was to watch the baby not the clock - I think if I had followed mil's advice about feeding every 4 hours I would have had supply issues, and I agree that it is a ff idea. It sounds like you are doing great. I amm thinking about putting ds in his crib after the cluster feeding finishes at about 8pm though, to maybe start some kind of bedtime routine...

ethelina · 15/03/2011 18:04

I think we started implementing a bedtime of sorts at around 8 weeks, when it was obvious he was asleep all evening anyway from about 7.30pm. Up til then he went to bed when we did.

Original poster

suzym1984 · 15/03/2011 18:22

Thanks everyone! It is so easy to doubt yourself, especially because breastfeeding is so unpredictable.

I had thought that maybe DS should be going in his crib after the 8pm cluster feeding, but then if he doesnt settle I would have to deal with it (as crib is by our bed) and the whole point is that I want a break. DH does put him in the pram tho if he is sleepy, if not he goes in his bouncy chair. Does that sound OK?

OP posts:

TittyBojangles · 15/03/2011 20:02

WHATEVER works for you is ok. And what works for you won't for someone else. Like VC said, he will change so much so quickly so just do what works now but dont nec expect it to work forever.

TittyBojangles · 15/03/2011 20:03

Ooops, sorry for all the 'works' there.

VeronicaCake · 15/03/2011 20:08

Of course letting him nap downstairs in the evening is fine, especially if that gives you an opportunity to catch up on sleep. In a few weeks it wouldn't hurt to try settling him in the crib after his last feed. We had a fair few false starts when we tried this with DD, but by about 14 weeks she was reliably going down between 7:30 and 8 and sleeping between then and 6:30-7 (waking for feeds obviously). But absolutely don't worry about it, there is no timetable for this sort of thing.

You don't need to doubt yourself though I realise it is very easy to do. You are doing an awesome job and in a few months time you'll be on here reiterating all this advice for another sleep deprived mother of a five week old! If you find the advice from older relatives confusing remember they mean well, but acute sleep deprivation means that everyone forgets how intense the first few months are.

pozzled · 15/03/2011 20:08

Sounds like you are doing absolutely fine. I'm definitely in favour of demand feeding for such a young baby.

I wouldn't worry too much about settling your DS after the 8pm feed just yet. When DD was that age we didn't put her 'to bed' until after her feed at about 10pm, so that her longest stretch of sleep would be when we went to bed. As she slept for longer we gradually brought her 'bedtime' forward. Not something that everyone would agree with, but it worked well for us- and I do think that's what matters, whatever works for your family.

MooMooFarm · 15/03/2011 20:15

OP it sounds to me like you're doing great. People used to talk to me about 'how many ounces' when they knew I was bfeeding - as if your boobs are measuring jugs . I would ignore ignore ignore - BFing works best when done on demand, not every 4 hours, or whatever 'routine' you are trying to work to. Your baby knows when he's hungry and your boobs are clever enough to adapt meet his exact demand.

Funnily enough, it was my mum and MIL who were the most annoying when I was BFing all mine - despite being lovely and helpful in other ways at the time. Neither of them had done it themselves and didn't seem to be able to get their heads around it all - but I soon learnt to ignore them too .

Just go with the flow, as it were - and rest whenever he does, if you possibly can, even for just five minutes of doing absolutely nothing - it all helps

dietcokeandwine · 15/03/2011 20:50

Sounds to me like you are doing brilliantly too. Just keep doing what you are doing, if it feels right to you and your baby is happy, then it's obviously right!

For what it's worth I think the 4 hourly feed thing is an outdated concept whether breast or bottle fed. I don't know a single formula fed baby who managed 4 hour feeding gaps either, they were all feeding every 3.

Original poster

suzym1984 · 16/03/2011 09:44

wow! Thanks for all the lovely messages, I think I was just looking for a little reassurance! Feel much better today, and even managed to get some sleep last night, which I think helps!

Thanks again everyone for taking the time to reply

OP posts:

ethelina · 16/03/2011 11:30

Well I think you have a unanimous thumbs-up here

Zimm · 16/03/2011 11:45

Sounds very similar to my DD at that age - you're doing great.

Cosmosis · 17/03/2011 10:41

That sounds perfect to me :) To add to the sleeping upstairs thing, we found that at some point (I think at about 10 or 11 weeks) DS started to get disturbed by the lights and noise downstairs so then we started on a bedtime routine and getting him to start sleeping upstairs in the evenings.

I also agree with Dietcoke, all the ff babies I know are demand fed and none of them go as long as 4 hours.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 17/03/2011 11:05

Agree with the others, it sounds normal and you are doing a great job.

As for your baby going every 4 hours, I don't think I could manage 4 hours without a drink or something to eat. If your Mum comes around refuse to give her a drink or anthing to eat if its less than 4 hours since she had anything too

Moulesfrites · 17/03/2011 11:05

Actually Suzy I was thinking about this thread again and that you are actually doing so well that I want to ask you some advice - you say your dh gives expressed milk on an evening, but when do you actually find time in the day to express? I have thought about doing this, but this morning I expressed and it took ages - today is okay as we have no plans, but on days when we are out and about we usually have somewhere to be by 10/11 am and not sure I could fit the expressing in before that. I suppose I could do it between cluster feeding in the evening. I have tried expessing off one side whilst feeding from the other but it was a bit of a nightmare as I am still at the stage where I have to concentrate on feeding ds, iyswim.

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