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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

My 14 month old keeps on biting me at the beginning of a feed, is she trying to let me know she is ready to stop?

24 replies

lolalotta · 13/03/2011 12:36

This has been going on for the past week now on and off and I feel nervous each time I go to feed her. She is down to 4 feeds a day now and I'm not sure what to do. I have read the advice on Kellymom, but a firm "no" and telling her it hurts Mummy seems to be not working at all! She deliberately is going in for a bite when we settle down for a feed and then looks up at me to see my reaction. Is she trying to tell me she is ready to wean? And if she is I haven't a clue how to go about that? Any help would be appreciated!

OP posts:
Original poster
lolalotta · 13/03/2011 12:40

If this is the end I really wish it wasn't like this, I feel like she doesn't like me when she is doing it so deliberately :(
which of course I know is nonsense.
Had a good old cry about it Friday night.

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rubyslippers · 13/03/2011 12:50

My DD did lots of nipping when she got her teeth

It stopped as I think it was just her teeth felt odd in Her mouth and it affected her latch

She will stop am sure

Original poster
lolalotta · 13/03/2011 13:08

Thanks so much for your reply Rubyslippers, She has nipped me before when her teeth started coming through about 9 months ago and I could tell it was her adjusting her latch then but this time it feels very different she is litterally just going in for a bite, clamps down and then looks up at me to see what I am going to do about it. After telling her "no" and that it hurts I give her another opportunity to latch on and she does it again! Really confused about what to do about this now. :(

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rubyslippers · 13/03/2011 13:10

Dont be sad

If your DD bites, push her into the breast and this will make her unlatch

If she carries on, then take her off the breast saying no in a firm voice

Babies love feeding so she will soon get the idea!

Original poster
lolalotta · 13/03/2011 20:07

She refused her lunchtime feed and her bedtime feed and just nipped at me instead. I never expected this to happen so suddenly. Tonight my boobs feel like they are going to pop, goodeness knows what they will be like in the morning, has anybody else had any experiences like this?

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WoTmania · 13/03/2011 20:33

this sounds more like nursing strike/breast refusal than wanting to stop.
Mayne she has teeth coming or has had a blocked nose or bad experience associated with BF recently?

Original poster
lolalotta · 13/03/2011 20:41

Her back teeth are coming through, they are taking a while though, one came through in the last week or so. When she is badly teething she usually goes off her solids, but she has been alright with them this weekend so wasn't too worried about her teeth IYKWIM? She has been biting quite a bit in the past few days and doesn't like it when I tell her "no", that makes her cry...not sure what else to do though. I'm worried about how engorged I'm feeling, my boobs are rock hard and they feel like they are buring up a bit!

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Original poster
lolalotta · 13/03/2011 20:42

*burning

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WoTmania · 13/03/2011 21:07

Sounds really rotten for you both.

Maybe try taking a bath with her or waiting til she's asleep to nurse her?
Witht the biting, rather than waiting til he bit me and saying no, with DS1 I used to wait til the glint came into his eye and take him off before he had the chance. similarly, one mother I knew used to keep a thumb on her DD's chin and would stop her clmaping her teeth as soome as she felt her tensing to bite.
On the fullness front, can you hand express a little to relieve the pressure. The last thing you want is to develope mastitis/blocked ducts now.
Truly hope the situation improves soon.

WoTmania · 13/03/2011 21:08

It moght be worth phoning one of the helplines too. A BFC on them might have some good ideas or be able to problem solve with you

Original poster
lolalotta · 13/03/2011 21:40

WoTmania, thank you so much for your replies! I just crept in and fed her while she slept, I feel so much more comfortable now, phew! I'm not sure what to do about the biting, she does it straight away, not even mid-way through a feed, which is why I thought she was self weaning...at bedtime tonight, she bit me, then shoved my boob away, turned her back on me and shook her head. She made it pretty clear that she wasn't interested, she cried though when I put her in her cot. :(
I don't know how to know if this is a nursing strike or her trying to tell me she is ready to self-wean? It's a good idea about phoning one of the help lines. thank you!

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WoTmania · 14/03/2011 13:53

You are more then welcome :)Glad you've eased oyur discomfort a bit.
Self weaning tends to be later than this and is quite gradual. Nursing strike tends to be sudden and is often linked to some kind of discomfort.
The new Womanly Art of Breastfeeding some good stuff on nursing strikes in it. Hopefully you'll speak to a BFC and they'll give you some ideas

Original poster
lolalotta · 14/03/2011 20:00

WoTmania, It's been hard today, my lo fed when she woke this morning and then refused lunchtime and bedtime feed again, I've been so upset about it today and in such discomfort. I'm Really missing it. I feel so rejected even though I know I shouldn't. I contacted a BFC and had a chat with her tonight, she was very friendly and so kind but she wasn't really alot of help, she hadn't really come across this much before and couldn't understand it, so couldn't really offer any advice. :(

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MegBusset · 14/03/2011 20:35

DS2 did this at the same age and sadly it was the end of BF for us :( I think he got a bit stressed about feeding and was suddenly associating it with discomfort (plus all of a sudden I was pulling away and saying OW at him - it bloody hurt). After a few days of this I offered him a cup of milk instead and he chugged it down cheerfully, I decided that the easiest thing for us was to let him wean then. I had fed DS1 to nearly 2yo so felt sad that I hadn't done it for as long with DS2 but 14 months is a very good stint. I felt quite emotional (and engorged!) for a couple of weeks but DS2 couldn't have cared less!

I hope that it proves just a temporary strike for you though.

Original poster
lolalotta · 14/03/2011 20:44

Thanks so much for your reply Meg, I was beginning to think I was the only one it had ever happened to! Am just having a google about strikes to see if there is anything that can be done, I so wasn't prepared for this to happen so suddenly, am feeling really down about it... I want to follow her lead at the same time though...am so confused what to do about it!

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WoTmania · 14/03/2011 21:20

Could you try a different BFC (which organisation did you go for? I'm just curious)?
You've tried the 'sneaky while they're asleep' feed. Maybe just have a couple of quiet days in with lots of lounging in bed topless with her? I don't know how practical this would be?
Sometimes takinga all pressure off and not offering for a few days can help.
Or having a relaxing soak in the bath with her?

I don't know if you've had any change in routine?
Occasionally I've heard of this happening when weaning was going to fast.

I know this is a lot of questions but I'm just trying to give you some ideas.

AngelDog · 14/03/2011 21:27

It does sound like a strike to me - self-weaning is supposed to happen one feed at a time, and over months or even years, not all at once.

DS went on strike when he was 13 m.o., although he didn't do the biting thing. I asked on here and someone suggested getting the doctor to check him over - it turned out he had an ear and chest infection (and then went on to get conjunctivitis & a V&D bug too). It was 12 days before he was feeding properly again, helped by antibiotics.

Although it felt like he didn't want to feed at the time, since the strike ended he's started bouncing and flapping with excitement when I offer bf, so them suddenly stopping feeding doesn't necessarily mean they really want to stop IYSWIM.

I wonder whether it could be the teeth - my DS responded differently to molars from the other teeth he'd cut.

You may have seen them already, but Kellymom has some links on strikes.

Trying to offer feeds when she's getting sleepy / asleep / just waking up is worth doing, as are things like having a bath together, carrying in a sling etc.

AngelDog · 14/03/2011 21:29

It's miserable though, isn't it, and hard not to take personally. I was a wreck at points during DS's strike. :(

WoTmania · 14/03/2011 21:32

Good point Angel about getting checked for underlying problems - an ear infection will hurt too.
It's good to hear you came out the other side.

Original poster
lolalotta · 14/03/2011 21:33

It was La leche league. She was lovely/ sympathetic but just not a lot of help! I'm not sure which other organisations there are? I was thinking about going to have a chat with my GP tomorrow, she has always been very supportive in the past when I have had infections etc regarding BF and she has BF 3 children herself, so I feel really comfortable chatting to her. Do you have any idea if I should I be expressing when I would normally feed her in the day? I think the not offering for a few days may work and like you say take the pressure off a bit.. About the lounging around topless, I'm not sure it would help really... she looks at my boob at the moment like it is from some alien planet, it's very odd. Am going to try the bath tomorrow, it is tricky though when ever she come in close she just goes to bite it.
There has been no change in routine, though she did smash a glass dish which she grabbed out the cupboard on friday when I had my back turned, that made her cry and was very loud. Maybe it was the shock from that? The biting started that evening. :(

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WoTmania · 14/03/2011 21:39

Could be the dish thing. If you have a nice Dr it might well be worth going to see her. Especially if she's pro-breastfeeding and won't just ask you why you 'haven't stopped yet' or not think it's a big deal cos you DD is over a year.
With the lounging in bed topless thing is that it gives back the control and she might just go to nurse without really thinking about it iyswim. Rather than you offering and her being able to refuse.
If you feel up to it you could always call the LLL helpline again or NCT and ABM have helplines too.

Original poster
lolalotta · 17/03/2011 19:55

Just thought I would post an update, Having cut out her lunch feed and bedtime feed for almost a week now, my lo had a feed mid-morning today (I was still in night-dress top which was unbuttoned so easy-access, lol) and at bedtime tonight too so it looks like not offering/pushing it for a few days might have worked!!! AND no nipping so happy mummy! Who knows what tomorrow will bring, but at least she knows it's available if she wants it! :)
Just wanted to say thanks for your support, especially Wotmania and Angel Dog! Grin

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WoTmania · 17/03/2011 20:24

Yay! Grin Thanks for updating. It's always nice to hear a good result. Hopefully that's that over with and if it re-occurs you have some tactics.

AngelDog · 17/03/2011 22:54

Hooray! :) Thanks for updating us.

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