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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

WTF am I doing wrong?

21 replies

megcleary · 11/03/2011 16:18

Dd is 4 w/o, at night she is breastfeeding non stop for up to seven hours at time, she will feed fall asleep on breast after 20 mins. I will try and put her in her Moses basket all warmed with hot water bottle 5 mins later she will scream the place down and I offer her the other breast and this process is repeated boob, basket boob from about 1 am until 7 am.

I am exhausted in the day she feeds boob, rest few mins and then other boob back and forth between boobs for up to two hours sometimes.

Am I doing something wrong she seems so unhappy unless attached but I don't know how much longer my family and I can cope with this help.

OP posts:

MigGril · 11/03/2011 16:48

She's only 4 week's old, all she wants is to be close to you.

Are you soure at all? Is she having plently of wet and dirty nappies? Does she sleep for any lenght of time during the day at all?

Offten babies this little have their day and night mixed up so if she's sleeping more during the day and not at night this could be the course.

Babies this little do feed a lot and very offten she's building up your milk supply which is great. It could be worth seeing some one in RL to get your latch checked even if there doesn't seem to be a problem (ie no pain when feeding) as sometime's a little twek can help. But a lot of what you discribe sounds like typical newborn behavier and should just setal on it's own. Try feeding lying down so you can get some rest, even if your not happy cosleeping you can do this during the day. Your doing a great job and right now no one should expect you to be doing anything other then concentrating on your new baby.

Bert2e · 11/03/2011 16:54

I agree with MigGril it does sound like her latch might not be optimal so getting enough milk is hard work for her so she falls asleep before she has had enough. How many wet nappies a day? Poos? Weight gain? Are you sore?

What was her birth like? Traumatic? Instrumental? She might benefit from seeing a cranial osteopath.

crikeybadger · 11/03/2011 17:01

Agree with MigGril that this is normal behaviour for one so new.

If you're not keen on co-sleeping (it was a lifesaver for me personally), then you could try and wait a bit longer before you move DD in to the moses. This way she is in a deeper sleep and less likely to stir.

Things will improve and in the short term, it might just be easiest and less frustrating to go with her needs rather than trying to change them.

Mahraih · 11/03/2011 17:26

DS is 4 weeks and does the same thing.

I don't know how you feel about co-sleeping but it was a lifesaver for us (completely agree with crikeybadger on this one!

So now DS has a little gro-bag he wears in our bed, and falls asleep breastfeeding. I wait until he's done, and make sure that he's in a good position etc before I sleep. He'll wake about 3 times from 11pm - 6am and we just swap sides and repeat the process.

What you're describing sounds normal to me - DS is happiest on the breast and anything else (going to the loo, showering, breathing) has to be done as quickly as possible and ideally without him noticing.

japhrimel · 11/03/2011 17:58

Sounds normal TBH. Do get your latch and position checked out tho - we had to keep getting help in the early weeks.

Slings are great for babies that don't want to be put down. And feeding lying down is a lifesaver. If you're not happy co-sleeping, get your partner or someone to watch over you. Elizabeth Pantley's checklists for safe co-sleeping helped me get sorted so I felt confident co-sleeping safely.

RitaMorgan · 11/03/2011 18:30

If you want to put her in the moses basket, wait at least 20 minutes after she's fallen asleep til she's really deeply asleep before trying to put her down. Though I also found it easier to just keep the baby in bed with me in the early weeks too.

Albrecht · 11/03/2011 23:14

Yep agree with everyone else - ds was like this and wish I'd started co-sleeping earlier rather than waking him by trying to move him.

Doesn't have to be forever if you don't want it to, so don't worry about 'bad habits' either.

Original poster

megcleary · 15/03/2011 21:30

She has been in with us and we have had some sleep. Today she has fed from 11am and is on as I type. I am exhausted dd 1 is getting so bored and I asked dh if he thought I should stop bf.

He says yes as I am not enjoying her I I just feel like a feeding machine.
If she cries when not on me all I say is give her here no is she ok is it anything else etc.

Am at a loss

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 15/03/2011 21:38

Have you had her latch checked? Are you getting some longer breaks between feeds or is it literally constantly? Is she gaining weight?

Original poster

megcleary · 15/03/2011 21:46

She went from 7,14-9,7 in two weeks so weight fine there can be an hour gap to fifteen min gap I lose track.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 15/03/2011 21:50

Can you go to any bf support groups to see if there are any changes to latch or positioning which might help?

Does she sleep at all in the day? I wonder if she could be suckling constantly due to overtiredness.

Cousinit · 15/03/2011 21:59

Has she been consistently feeding like this or has it just increased over last few days? It sounds to me like a growth spurt and if so should settle down in a day or so. My DD behaved much the same, particularly during growth spurts. She is busy increasing your supply and once she has done this, feeding should settle down again to a more manageable pattern. I too found co-sleeping and just going with the flow the way to cope. Don't worry about it becoming a habit if you think it's not for you long term - at 10 months DD now happily sleeps in her cot and has been since she was around 3/4 months. It is exhausting though and I remember feeling like you. You just have to tell yourself it's not forever!

crikeybadger · 15/03/2011 22:02

Sounds tough megcleary but that is a truly amazing weight gain for DD.

Would a chat with a bfc on one of the helplines be useful for you? They may have some suggestions.

have you thought about a dummy?

Albrecht · 15/03/2011 22:12

When ds was this age I remember telling people I felt like a milk cow. Getting in the shower and having to get out still with dirty hair as ds was crying and crying and wouldn't stop for dh.

The first six weeks were the worst. I was amazed he fed so quickly by 3 months but I know that seems like ages from where you are now.

Ds wouldn't take a dummy but would suck on my little finger (probably not good for him but a life saver when stuck in traffic for example).

Original poster

megcleary · 15/03/2011 22:17

The dummy she sees as apersonal insult she may be over tired today am still trying to learn her cues.
I am start to see growth spurts as a conspiracy to keep you going.....
I keep trying to lie her beside me to sleep and she just pens her eyes and wails.

OP posts:

Albrecht · 15/03/2011 22:22

This might be way off the mark but does she get upset a lot when horizontal but seem happier upright? Because being a very sucky baby can be a sign of reflux.

RitaMorgan · 15/03/2011 22:26

Can you feed lying down?

I'd persist with the dummy - it took a couple of weeks and a couple of different types for ds to accept one (had success with a cherry latex type in the end - he wasn't interested in the fancy silicone orthodontic ones at all).

With naps, try to get her to sleep if she's been up for 90mins-2 hours at most in the day. If you have a sling, I found that great for putting ds to sleep.

Also, you need a break and your DH can help - get him to take the baby out for an hour or two in the sling/pram. She won't starve, and you need her out of the house so you can't hear her.

Cousinit · 15/03/2011 23:40

:( It is really tough in those early days. Agree that it sounds like you need some time out if you have someone who can help. The sleep deprivation makes everything seem a million times worse.

KnockedUpMell · 16/03/2011 05:29

It is so reassuring to hear someone else has this problem! I am just back from hospital with my 3do ds and he won't stop feeding! I'll feed on one breast, he'll fall asleep in 20 min, and if I take him off there are all the hunger cues and he'll suck vigorously at next feed. This goes on for hours! At hospital they were happy with latch and obviously milk is just starting to come in, but this is exhausting!

JustKeepSwimming · 16/03/2011 06:28

Can you try and wake them when they start to drift off and see if they'll take more?
Sometimes they get tired out feeding so have a nap before they've actually had their full feed.
Or if they don't want any more on that side, swap sides and see if they'll take more before falling asleep again?

You are doing well, esp with that weight gain :)

VeronicaCake · 16/03/2011 09:19

I know what you mean about growth spurts seeming like a huge conspiracy. And just because something is normal and healthy doesn't mean it is easy.

If it is any consolation we had several nights like this with DD when she was 4-5 weeks, but she would sleep in the sling quite well so DH could take a turn sitting up with her whilst I got some rest. The really awful nights did end quite quickly and she would then tolerate being rocked back to sleep and put down for a couple of hours. Co-sleeping helps lots of people, but DD wasn't keen until she was about 4m old.

A dummy helped too but it took a couple of weeks for her to get it so I agree with Rita it may be worth persevering.

And I agree if she isn't comfortably feeding to sleep (DD never did either) then encouraging naps by popping her in the sling or pushchair and rocking her till she goes off is worthwhile.

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