Feeding discreetly in public

[MrsAnnaBanana]

Any tips for how to breast feed in public while minimizing the amount of flashing? Any recommendations for one of those scarf cover-up things? Ideally I'd like something that enables me to see the baby's latch.

Thanks!

Forget the covers. They are dreadful things that only perpetuate the belief that bfing must be hidden from view, and tbh if anything they will actually draw attention to you.
My best tip is to layer up- wear a vest under whatever you wear, lift the top layer up, pull the vest down. No boob on show, and no need for a cover. If you do feel self conscious a pashmina wil do the job.

I agree with BBG, I tried using a scarf for a while but it just got in the way and caused me more stress!

If you have big boobs try vests with low v necks if you can find some and then a thin top to pull up and pull vest down.

I have found being able to feed out and about is a HUGE advantage and well worth trying to get the hang of. I also recommend finding some bf-ing friends to hang out with. People probably wont notice what youre doing tbh!

I always found that a cardigan over layered vest top and t-shirt was very easy combination for discreet feeding. Practical and comfy and I was really nervous about feeding in public to begin with but it was absolutely fine.

Agree with vest under top combo, or vest under wrap dress etc.

I used a muslin every now and then when getting used to it (tucked under bra strap on appropriate shoulder), and still do now on occasion...at 7 mo dd is rather easily distractable!

I never used anything specific, they tend to draw attention rather anyway. With practice you can't see anything once vest is down to cover belly and top is up.

I do vest under jumper too and am really happy with it now, but I did buy one special top from Amazon for occasions I am really uncomfy getting my nipple out (I know I should be fine with it but don't want my FIL seeing it...)

that is great. It has two layers and a hole to poke the nip through! I can see his latch easily but I do have a small chest, not sure if that helps.

I bought one like this

I have a couple of friends who use a bebe au lait, and they find them very useful.

I've never used one - I never seem to have time to get 'kit' out, and even artfully draping a muslin seems to be beyond me, so I just do a quick whipping the top up effort.

That said, horses for courses - I really, really dislike the idea that some women are made to feel foolish and as if they are letting the BF-ing sisterhood down by using these covers. If it makes you feel comfortable and allows you to feed in public, go right head.

Bullying purists should remember that women have plenty of reasons for NOT wanting to be in the 'let it all hang out' brigade, especially those of us who've had abusive sexual experiences. Control of our own bodies and who sees them is very important.

And if these covers draw attention to BE-ing, then what's wrong with that? It's the usual contradiction - don't cover yourself up, do it discreetly with 2 tops and a muslin, do it proudly with breasts bared...

Whatever. Just do it. However it suits you.

2 top camp here too. I find trying to cover up far to difficult and it draws more attention to myself. Not that I care anymore about that. If DS wants feeding I just flop them out!

Oh, and I do agree with Gloy, you have to do whatever makes YOU feel most comfortable.

I am very private about my body, and the two top combo works for me. what no one has mentioned, and what wasn't obvious to me, is that if someone is at eye level with me, I can have enough nipple/breast out for me to see the latch because I'm looking down, but with a baby's head in front of me no one else would. try it in front of a mirror at home :)

Two vests here and I love Frugi nursing wear especially in the sale.

I've also noticed I tent to stare straight ahead or at DS while doing the fiddling about bit, instead of looking at the baby - seems to take attention away from the fact my breast is on show for a brief moment.

Basically, if people want an eyeful, they will get one, but folk mostly look away, whether it's out of supportive decency or embarrassment.

I really think those products which claim to help you cover up whilst BF actually draw attention to it (no one has a big bit of material slung over their shoulder usually). Certainly with a baby under 6 months it usually looks like you are just giving them a cuddle. And their body, going across yours, hides your tummy.

My main top tips are: choose somewhere to sit which is not in full view (eg with your back to the main entrance of a cafe). Don't make any kind of a deal of it, as you'll just draw attention to yourself. Just hoik your top up and slip the baby under (obviously not right under or they'd suffocate).

I honestly don't think people notice, and if they do they either don't care or they are too polite to say. I BF DD in public on many many occasions and I can honestly say that I never got any odd looks and definitely no comments. And to be honest I was a bit brazen about it too (eg on an aeroplane right next to a stranger, in the men's section of Zara etc).

Good luck - go for it!

It's funny how it turns out - I wasn't keen on BF-ing in public beforehand, but in practice (and actually, it does take practice - juggling a newborn, bra clips you've never used before and a top/muslin whatever feels very hard to start with, but gets so much easier) -

In practice, my DS went from 0-60 in terms of being hungry and wailing, so if I tried to find a comfy spot and be elegantly discreet with a muslin, he was screaming SO loudly by the time I got him to the boob that everyone nearby was staring at me. So as it turned out, best policy was just to pick him up and offer the boob wherever we were, without any faffing around.

I was lucky though, and had a DS with good latch right from the start. The gap between exposing my breast and getting a baby attached was very small. Again, friends had different experiences - with babies that are tricky to get on, there can be a certain amount of baby wrangling and exposure (friend found bebe au lait very helpful in that instance, they seem to have a lot of room underneath them, and you can look down inside them to see what you are doing) - I know women who had BF troubles and had to use nipple shields, and really couldn't face the curious stares in public -

And one friend has the most dramatic let down, a proper sprinkler effect! and she uses a cover up partly so people don't gawp, but also because frankly it limits the amount of spraying.

So like I said - different women find different solutions for what makes BF-ing comfortable for them.

ive always done the 2 tops combo, 1 up, 1 down, don't think ive ever flashed anything- but as im now on dc3 im no longer bothered {grin].
i would agree that cover up things tend to be more hassle than they r worth, and end up making you more stressed ( my experience of watching sil using one of these aswe both have children the exact same age) people staring at her, but not noticing that i was feeding sitting right beside her.

best advise for me was to make sure i had a bf friend with me the first few times i did it in public with dd1- this really, really helped, and after that it was a breeze. (smile)

i obviously have no idea how to do this or this

An NCT uses a Bebe au Lait cover and it's the only way she'd feed in public as she's struggled with finding positions that work for her that don't involve getting her whole boob out. The cover does draw more attention - wriggling feet sticking out from a flowered "tent" does look funny! - but it works for her and with it she's comfortable feeding out.

I find the vest trick works well. Or Boob tops, which have 2 layers over the bust. I got mine (new) from an eBay seller so they were a third of the price of buying them from Boob or NCT. I have big boobs and this kind of nursing top works best for me - I've also got a Mamaway tunic with a foldover v-neck nursing layer and having it hoicked around my boob for feeding lots one day I was out for ages actually gave me a blocked duct! I think they work best for smaller boobs.

Whatever you wear, an open cardi or shirt provides side coverage. For a while I took a lightweight scarf to give me a cover when latching DD on/off and it really helped when we were struggling a bit and I wasn't too confident.

Whatever works for you is what's best IMO.

An NCT friend I meant!

think gloy is bang on.

views like boobooglass's really annoy me. I've bf 2 DCs anywhere and everywhere, have no issues with my body, or how anyone else chooses to cover up or otherwise when they breastfeed. it's a piece of material not a declaration, ffs.

i used/use a bf cover because both of my DCs would latch on and off (and flash my boobs) due to my very fast let-down and flow so they would choke if they didn't. Later on when they became distractible, crazy 6mo it's very useful to keep them focused on the task in hand. Pasminas and muslins just got pulled off.

if a bf cover makes you feel more comfortable about bf when you're out and about then please do get one.

oh and i've had several compliments about my cover from other bf mothers

Early on I used a muslin over my shoulder and also had a light poncho that was quite handy - but it stopped being useful at about four months when my son would take anything off that covered his head.

I tend to wear cheap nursing clothes (H&M, BooB) that I bought from eBay - for me I just find them easy to use and they don't attract attention like a cover would (though I also think there's nothing wrong with using a cover if you feel comfortable doing so). I also do the vest/top combo now and then.

Do what works for you. Most of the time no one will look your way and if the baby stays on there is very little flash potential. My DS does now tend to whip his head up every so often but there is usually time for me to pull my top down a bit when he does it.