Yesterday I was in the same room as several mothers who nurse their school aged children

[Babieseverywhere]

This was the annual LLL social coffee morning for nursing mothers of children over 4 years old !
It was so nice to discuss the good and bad points about nursing older children. :D

Roll on next year :)

i fed my dd untill she was 4 (nearly 5) she self weaned-one day she just said she couldnt remember how to get the milk out! and that was that, i fed ds till he was2 as he had such severe allergies and was getting ill through my milk as well (i tried cutting the things he was allergic to from my diet but i lost a lot of weight and got ill) if that hadnt happened i would have continued bf him as well.

Iam currently bf dd2 (15 mths) and will carry on for as long as she wants to be fed. I dont think there is anything wrong with bf an older toddler or child in fact i dont really even think about it much at all it seems perfectly normal to me so barely give it a second thought!

Speedy, I have to disagree with you.

I think as a society we are particularly crap at letting children do/stop doing things as and when they are ready - witness millions of threads about potty training, sleep training, introducing solids, achieving certain milestones by certain ages....

bf is just another way in which we decide we know better than our children when they are ready for a particular thing.

Before I get accused of being up on my high horse I confess to 'encouraging' ds1 to wean at 2 yo when I got pg again. It was absolutely because I found it uncomfortable and not for any other reason - as is my desire to get ds2 to sleep in his own bed, etc.

Tabitha, they pass germs into our bloodstream through the nipple.

Actually, Maryz, that depends entirely on the family. Children who are pressurised into potty training show negative side-effects, as do children who are pushed into other areas of independence too early. And children who choose when to potty-train tend to stop immediately, without the stresses of 'imposed' training. Like many parents, we never mentioned night-weaning to DS; he decided of his own accord that he would stop when he was 4. He's only wet himself at night twice in 6 months. Unlike the many wet trousers we had during day potty training!

We're discussing two sides of the same coin, ecobatty!

yes, I was only disagreeing with the bit where you said
'The only reason why some people are uncomfortable about the idea of self-weaning is that deep down, on some level, they're uncomfortable about breasts'!

I think some people are uncomfortable with the idea of waiting until children are ready to do loads of things. If I had a penny for every time I've been asked 'is he still waking up at night?'....:)

I know what you mean, eco, I have threatened DH to never tell MIL about DS bed-sharing on pain of death! Not that I'm trying to hide it; I just can't be arsed to field all the stupid comments that would ensue.

But I do think people's discomfort with breasts is where all the snide comments stem from. Like 'bitty' - WTF is that about?

Yes, Brits are pretty weird about breasts. Living abroad now, and people's attitude here is sooo different.

What does 'bitty' mean? I really don't understand.

I hope to feed DS until he self-weans, although I must say I cannot imagine feeding any child at 5/6/7/8. But I have never seen anyone feed any child to that sort of age. Perhaps my feelings will change as DS gets older?

Also, I don't understand why people come on these threads to be disparaging. Just imagine if a bf posted on a ff thread saying something like 'I can't imagine why any one in this day and age would NOT breastfeed'. The backlash would be horrible (and absolutely deserved)

there was a series of sketches in the comedy series Little Britain in which a man goes back home to introduce his fiancee to his parents and asks his mum for a breastfeed which he calls 'bitty'.

so when someone says 'bitty' they are saying they think breastfeeding a 4yo is like breastfeeding an adult....

Bitty is from a comedy show, where a woman is still breastfeeding her 20-something year old. Armstrong and Miller, I think? It was actually very funny.

I'm planning to let DS self-wean. He's currently 12 months and going strong! I'm waiting for the inevitable comments from my family, who all seem to think I'm about to stop soon because I've 'done a year'.

Thank you for the link to the book on 'Feeding Older Children'. Sorry, forgot who posted it. I'll be ordering it.

x-post with sethstarkaddersmackerel.

Was it? I don't often watch Little Britain. Must have been channel-surfing.

There's nothing wrong with breastfeeding toddlers....but having MEETINGS about is is weird and self-congratulatory.

Bitty is from Little Britain where the guy who is not the fat bald one, is breast fed by his 60 year old mother as he discusses his upcoming wedding with his fiancee.

He calls it "Bitty" and asks for "Bitty!" in a petulant manner.

In oe sketch his Mum doesn't want to and his Gran offers hers up. He says "Nana Bitty!" in a pleased voice.

Sorry to join so late, but have taken ages to read the thread!

Wow, this is an interesting one! I am battling with my feelings on this...

I am breastfeeding my 11 month old DD and hope that I can continue to do so until she self weans. If I am totally honest, I don't think that I would allow her to continue to feed when she starts school. I am ashamed to admit that I am too influenced by what other people think...this must be the reason as I can think of no other reason why we would stop as I fully believe that children should be allowed to self wean.

With regards to breasts being sexual...I think that if we teach our children about the primary function of breasts from an early age then there should be no issue. To a breastfed baby or child, breasts are a source of nutrition and comfort, they are not sexual. If my DD asks me when she is 7 what breasts are for I will be telling her they are for feeding babies.

IMO, the whole sexual argument just highlights what is wrong with society - at 7 years old children should not even be thinking about the sexual nature of breasts, or about sex or sexual relationships at all. We are allowing our children to be prematurely sexualised in so many ways and this worry that a 7 year old may see breasts as sexual is awful! Maybe I'll be called naive for having this view

IMO there is no point in discussing if we would feed our babies aged 15 - studies have shown (I think!) that the natural weaning age for human infants usually falls between the age of 2.5 and 7 years old, therefore, it is a pointless discussion, sorry.

And with regards to need - well infants who continue to breastfeed as toddlers may not depend on breastmilk if they are eating a healthy balanced diet, but the breastmilk that they do consume is still nutritionally significant, and still has so many benefits.

TBH am not sure I would like to be sitting in a restaurant next door to someone bf their 5 yo. I am v pro bf but I still might find that a bit uncomfortable, not sure why but I personally would (don't really care if at home etc but out and about would put me off).

Incidentally if you are feeding a 2yo and a new born does the milk come out differently? Dd weaned herself and I would have carried on but expressing doesn't work for me so I dried up!

Thanks for the explanations.

Given that a thread started in order for the OP to share a pleasant experience has had such judgemental responses, it evident that mutual understanding and support is not only pleasant but necessary. It is not self-congratulatory at all.

SeeJane, all over the world throughout history people have met up in interest-based support groups, especially for activities seen as being outside the norm. In fact, some such groups have led to much-needed societal revolutions - female emancipation, the black civil rights movement - and for 'smaller' issues. Why should ebf be any different? See what I mean about people with little knowledge talking cack? It really is quite tiresome.

I didn't have a time agenda in place when I had DD1,I just wanted to breastfeed her,and she fed until two and a quarter,choosing to stop just before her sister was born.I'm still feeding DD2,who will be four in seven weeks time.I didn't imagine I would be feeding a four year old,and sometimes I really wish that she would stop because I'm pretty knackered,but I've been feeding for six and a quarter years so its just routine,I don't give it much attention.She really wants to feed at night and when she wakes,and I'm not all that bothered either way,so why not go with what my toddler wants? I hate being seen as a wierdo for just feeding a very small child for whom its clearly natural and lovely to still be breastfed.

A technical question as mine is only 8mo so I have yet to encounter BFing a 4 yo.
If you only feed once a day, or even once every couple of days, does your milk not give up?
How infrequently can you feed and it stay.
I'd like to still give mine a morning feed when I go back to work when he is 13 mo.

Figgy, re bfing a newborn and a 2 yo, the answer is yes! Even if they're both latched on at the same time. Bloody amazing

SeeJaneKick - you think breastfeeding groups/meetings are weird? There are loads where I live. I should think people feeding older children are particularly in need of support.

Speedy, what do you mean - that each breast produces different milk for each child? How is that possible?

It's the "Stridence" of you all...you seem obsessed with it...almost in a political way or something.

It's fine, why don't you jut get on with it.