would this work?

[jandmmum]

I'm going back to work at the end of the month when DD will be almost 8 months. I'm finding it really hard to wean her, as although I'm happy for DH to give her a bottle (she currently has one a day at 11ish) I just can't seem to bring myself to give her one when I have a better readily available milk by bfing her.
I work 3 consecutive days 8-4.30. DD will be in the staff nursery so I could feed her around 7.45 and again at 4.45, so the only feeds she'll miss are the one around 10ish and the one around 2ish. She is blw and doing great but not sure she will drop either of these feeds anytime soon. I could possibly express once a day at work at 12ish. Would this be enough and would I be able to feed myself normally on the other 4 days of the week?
TIA

I can't recall the exacting wording, but under H&S legislation, BF mothers are entitled to rest breaks. So, you can express as many times as you need, and they should provide facilities.

Comfort wise, you'll probably be ok. I went back 3d/week when DS was 8 months, and I aim to express at the times he would feed. At 10 months, I'm trying to drop one feed, but he's not having it.

I know legally wise I can but in practical terms it's not so easy. I don't think I'd be able to express very well if I was stressed that I'd got a busy waiting room outside. I just want to know if it is I can get away with one expressing session at work and continue feeding when I'm not at work or will she end up needing a bottle at home. Or reverse cycling and feeding even more in the night than she does already?

As I said, comfort wise, once will probably be ok in that time.

I'm not sure I follow what you mean about needing a bottle, as isn't that the point of expressing, to provide the milk for a bottle. Express one day for the milk for the following day.

She might reverse cycle, almost certainly will if you don't give her any milk all day and just tip it.

I just feed as normal on the days I am at home.

You will be fine feeding on the days you are home. But yes she probably will feed more at night or in the evenings.

Do you want to express or are you happy to give formula? I'd wait and see whether she wants it. I'd imagine she would want at least one milk feed in that time - so leave DH some milk, expressed or formula, and wait and see if she asks for it I suppose.

Sorry probably not clear I meant would she need a bottle during the days I'm home. I expect she may have two feeds whilst I'm away. Will I only have enough for one feed if I only express once? I'll provide as much ebm as possible but she may need formula as well. Would prefer she has as little ff as possible but prefer her to have it than go hungry. She'll happily take a bottle as long as it is the right temperature!

Hard to know what will work for you but I went back to work fulltime when DD was 8.5m. I'm away from her 7-6 so on those days I feed before I leave and when I get back and express twice at work. I work from home 2 days a week and bf exclusively on those days and at weekends.

I only express about 5-7oz at work and she normally has to have an extra bottle of formula in addition to the ebf (she is 10m and getting to the end of the 9m growth spurt right now). But this hasn't caused probs with supply on days when she only has breastmilk.

So you could well be fine. Only way to find out is to try and see what happens.

You could express after work as well, if expressing at work is the issue? Or also express on your days off? You don't have to express at the same time the bottle is due if that makes sense. Also if you express at a regular time each day you should find it gets easier as your body "expects a feed" at that time.

Hi I found exactly the same position when I went bk to wk, dd also was 8months and it felt wrong to give her a bottle when I knew I had milk for her!!!

However about the wk before i went bk I did cut out another day feed as I didn't want to have milk leaking every where at wk or to end up with mastitis.

It did sadly signal the beginning of the end for bfing, I kept going with just morning and evening feeds for another 3 months but dd sort of weaned herslf then

This kind of what worries me Girliefriend. I'm not ready to give up yet (much to my surprise). I guess I'll have to suck it and see. I struggle to find time to do much expressing as I also have a 3yo DS. Will make an effort to get a bit of a stash but don't want to increase my supply too much so that I get leaky or full during the day.

From what I know about BF, if you keep the expressing at set times as much as possible, you can keep going feeding as much as you want on the days you are home, and not at all while at work, and your supply will adjust and you won't be full or leaky once it has settled down.

jandmmum - I work 5 days a week full time and my DD (8.5 months) goes without milk while I'm at work (around 8 to 5 ish). I don't express at all but feed her lots when I'm at home, including overnight. There is always milk there when she wants it.

I started cutting back on daytime milk feeds gradually about a month before I returned to work (from when she was around 6.5 months). We don't do blw but a mixture of spoon feeding and finger food (just weaning I suppose) and we make sure she gets milk on her breakfast (cow's), some yoghurt after lunch etc. and she gets water to drink.

It works for us. HTH.

And I should add that my sil went back to wk when her ds was nearly a yr she did 3 shifts a wk and she is still bfing lots nearly a yr on!!! So I guess it just depends on you and your baby.

thanks very much , that's reassuring. Gaelic does your DD not demand milk in your absence? I remember your other posts and your views on ff. So I know why, but I'm sure my dd would be very unsettled if she went that long without, plus as hv has already told me not to night wean as she needs the calories since weigh gain is slow, going so long between feeds is not a viable option.

She really doesn't actually. I wouldn't have done it this way if I wasn't sure she could manage. As I said I wound down daytime feeds really gradually and she is doing very well with her solids. I deliberately started to separate milk feeds from her solid food about a month before going back to work, giving her water with meals and milk between meals, then tried her without one of those between meals milk feeds. Then it was just a case of dropping the other one (or rather delaying it) on the days when I'm at work. She has free access to the breast day and night when I'm at home.

Incidentally, I don't really have "views" on formula feeding other than I've had to do it unwillingly and I'd rather not have to go back to it having fought so hard to return to EBF. My own hang up, nothing more.

But yes, if there is a problem with weight gain then you're right it wouldn't be a good idea to do as we have done. Also I wouldn't have used my approach alongside BLW because I wouldn't have been confident enough of her calorie intake. Hope you find a solution that suits you. x

Lest I sound contradictory, I do have views on formula itself, but that's a different thing in my mind. Each to their own when it comes to using formula, especially after 6 months.

Also (sorry trademark multiple posts again ), if I thought she would take it willingly I might have tried, but she won't even take EBM from bottle or cup. (I normally say that when I respond to these threads, of which there are many at the moment, but I didn't this time). So yes it sounds like it's a conscious choice on my part, but really DD chose to play it that way.

OP we've had slow weight gain issues. So while she has no milk in the day we had a lot in the night. Didn't make any difference to her weight gain. At 7 months DD was on 3oz at lunchtime. We stopped by 10 months.

Since your only at work 3 days a week it's fine to drop the feeds and not worry. Initially I let DD feed a lot in the days I was there and it wasn't a problem.

I know it's hard with the slower gaining babies but honestly some babies are smaller and the slower weight gain isn't a issue.

Also if you want her to have FF while your work you can still BF when your not.

Gaelic didn't mean any offence about the ff comment, just meant I understand your reasons, fwiw I agree with you on some of your other posts re iron, ethics etc and would prefer not to give her any. I too worked back from mix feeding to ebf for a while but exhaustion meant I relented into her having a bottle late evening and I no longer had the energy to keep expressing in the night, particularly when she went through the 4 month sleep regression and started feeding all night. Although better now, she still only goes up to 4 hours and usually mote like 3 between feeds even at night.

Thanks Penguin, ds was also very slow weight gainer (even worse than dd and on 0.4th centile) he also dropped daytime feeds by the time he started nursery at 11 months but he was mostly spoon fed so probably eating more solids and also that 3 months is a big difference. She is doing so well with blw I don't want to start forcing purées down her.

DD's on the 0.4th line and still feeds every 2-3 hours at night. We're starting to attempt to space them out a little bit.

We did/do BLW (except for porridge) and we found out this week she LOVES cake so we're piling her with it before 12 months her weigh in next week

good luck with everything

thanks Penguin and good luck with the weigh in. They weigh the dressed from 12 months and ds has some how shot up to 25th centile which is where he was born.

No offence taken .

You don't have to force purees down her though. My DD usually gets coarsely mashed family food (not purees) for one meal, cereal at breakfast and the other meal is finger food. It just gives me a bit more confidence that more food goes in her than on the floor, but it is still totally led by her - no forcing involved.

I feel your pain on the night feeds. I have given up any thought of her sleeping through and have embraced co-sleeping with her in the bedside cot next to me. She feeds on and off all night, but tbh I haven't noticed a huge difference in frequency since being back at work.

Her nappies convince me she is eating a fair amount. That and the relatively small amount of mush left over when she's finished. She spends ages picking up and trying to finish off any bits left on her tray. I don't clear firsts before I give pudding (usually only with tea) so for eg she might end up eating pasta after her yogurt or carrot and rice pudding!, there are some wierd combinations!

At that age, my daughter was taking about 150ml per feed (I was back at work, so leaving EBM, which is why I know the quantity), and I had no trouble expressing double that in one session. I was away from her for 11 hours generally, and expressed twice for 3-4 bottles, but by 10 months I had dropped it to one session and it wasn't an issue.

Also, by 11 months I started cutting the EBM with cow's milk to get her used to that, and by 12 months she drank cow's milk during the day (or goat, actually, now I think about it) and I bf her before and after work and at bedtime until 17 months. So long story short, you should be fine I think; the days when you're home with her will help maintain your supply for the days you're away.

thanks tortoise