4 month regression? Help please

[heidipi]

DD is 15 weeks and usually wakes once between 11 and 6 to feed (I know we've been lucky with this) which takes up to an hour and a half. For the last 3 nights however she has had 3 x 1 hr long feeds during this time and taken ages to settle in between - falls asleep on boob, wakes as I put her down and hard to settle, sometimes have to feed more and try again.

Sounds like the 4 month regression I keep hearing about but I don't know how to handle it. BF has always been painful - have had sore nipples since day 1 so the thought of weeks of this extended feeding (or longer, I know) is pretty grim. Tonight I've been up with her since 2.30am (now 6am) feeding most of that time. The longer I feed the more it hurts.

Am mix feeding (initially due to supply problems - had hardly any milk for 10 days so she was v dehydrated, then kept giving 1 FF a day because of pain, increased to 2 a day at 10 wks cos otherwise I think I would have stopped) so could give an extra bottle during the night but don't know how I'd then get her back to sleep, at least my boobs are good for that!

I don't know what I'm asking really, but i suppose it boils down to how long might this last? And how to get some sleep? Could co-sleep but the 'pop her on and nod off again' idea won't work for us due to sore nipples.

Sorry for rant, v tired and a bit weepy. (Please don't suggest getting latch checked or Lansinoh, I've done
all that.)

Thanks for listening.

Is she teething as well maybe? this can make them very unsettled and feeding soothes the gums. If she is then it could make her bad for a couple of nights and then settle down for a bit. I found this period wasn't uniformly awful, just worse some nights than others, if that's any hope for you.

Could try some Nurofen if it is teeth. That or Calpol in conjunction with Dentinox helped us no end.

It does get better, Boy is 23 weeks now and sleeps fine most nights.

Hiya - I feel your pain! I have just come out the other side of the 4 month sleep regression, so I know how you feel. I remember one night my husband found me kneeling over the moses basket at 5am crying and begging DD to go to sleep , But...it did pass, and it will for you too.

My understanding is that the sleep regression is a combination of a growth spurt and behavioural development. So yes, they are hungry at night, so you should feed them. Whether you BF or FF is up to you, go with whatever makes you feel best able to cope. Also review whether daytime feeds are going well - I found at this age that DD was more interested in looking around than BF so perhaps this was contributing to the night time hunger. Not much you can do about that except try feeding in places with not too much distraction during the day for a while.

The behaviour thing is that once they wake in the night they have learned that it is much more fun to stay awake than to doze off again, so try and keep nighttimes neutral and quiet so that she learns its really not very exciting at night.

For us we had one hellish week, then the 2nd week things were drifting back to normal, then it was all over! So keep your chin up, and just do whatever it takes to get through it - do you have a DH who could help with the nightshift? Or a friend who can watch your DD for a few hours in the day while you catch up on sleep? Hope that helps, and good luck!

Forgot to say painful gums made Boy chomp harder so taking the pain away meant shorter feeds, less vicious latch, more settled = happier baby, less frazzled mum.

Hi - thanks so much both of you. DP came and took over at 6.30 and did her morning FF feed so I got 2 hrs sleep before he went to work and feel much better than I did, just woke up with one enormous lumpy leaky boob though which I suppose is the result of all the extra feeding for the last 2 nights. Am expressing now and hoping the lump goes, definitely don't want another blockage to add to my woes!

I don't think she's teething but I'll have another feel of her gums, she is very dribbly at the moment though. Sounds it could be behavioural development - last night she drifted to sleep when feeding but woke up every time I put her down (she'll normally settle herself if she half wakes as input her down) and that's when she cried and was then wide awake, smiling and looking around so ended up sitting up holding her when she nodded off rather than try again. I might banish DP to the spare room tonight so I can feed her in bed, which would at least mean less getting up and down.

I feel horrible because at one point when I was so tired I shushed her really sharply and loudly, and she jumped and cried louder. Not good.

She's fine now - watching me all smiley and ready to face the day in her bouncy chair.

I'll go to bed the same time as her tonight to get a couple of extra hours early on I think. Guess we've just had it easy til now!

Thanks again, feel better than I did at 6am...

I'm another one going through this at the moment. DS is 19 weeks old. Used to sleep through but then caught a cold and started night waking. Just about back to normal sleep pattern then this started. He wakes every 3 hours after going to bed, so that's twice during the night. Was taking a bottle of expressed milk at the 1.30 waking, but for the pat few days has been crying and demanding a BF. It's not that he is going to bed hungry, he just wakes and wants food. (During the day he can be more interested in what is going on around him rather than feeding so does occasionally chomp and pull as he looks around ... ouch) Right now he is asleep and has been for about 2 hours (&, of course,I am wide awake)... just hope this could be the first sign of him coming out of this as this is the longest afternoon nap in ages.

It's great to know that this is normal & I suppose I'm just going to have to grin and bear it until he sleeps back through, but I would love some sleep.

Hi ElisaJay, sorry to hear that you're going through this too - but on the other hand it does help to know you're not alone, as you say!

Interesting to hear that your DC's daytime naps are affected too - same here, today I tried bouncy chair with hairdryer going, holding and rocking, walk in the pram and finally drove her round in the car at 5pm which got her off for 2 hrs but that plus two 30 min catnaps is all she's had since 7am.

To top it all just had a row with DP - he usually puts her to bed with a FF bottle, except on Thursdays when he goes out. Stupidly I thought he wouldn't go tonight to save me having to do it after 3 tough nights but he was all set to go and we ended up shouting. It seems he thinks i've been really unreasonable about the things that have been difficult - BFing nightmares, 2 months of colic (it really hasn't seemed that bad to me compared to BF) and now this. So now I feel extra shit. Thanks DP.

Anyway, am about to hit the sack, at the same time as DD, to get a couple of extra hours in early before the fun starts. No doubt all will seem better in the morning!

Alas, my hope that the long afternoon nap was a sign of DS coming out of the 4 month spurt was shattered when he did the 3 hourly wake up again. We have had signs of progress in that the gap between night feeds has extended to 3.5 hours, but otherwise it's all still as it was last week. The little man would normally be having about a 20 minute nap now, but instead he is quite happily playing. We did go out this morning so he had a long sleep in the pram in the fresh air. Since my last post he has also mastered rolling over, so I was rather hoping that would tire him out and he would sleep. All in my dreams apparently. Oh well...

Hope things are improving for you Heidipi.

Hey.

I Feel your pain. We had 6 weeks of the regression. DS waking every 20-40 mins through the night for the first 2 weeks and then for the rest it was every hour or so, mainly to feed. It was hell! But we made some changes; solids, formula, gave him a comforter/blanket at night (this seemed to help massively!), and it gradually got better. I feel that formula did help, but only really once he was established on 3/4 feeds a day including the evening feed. Maybe this was because DS has never took that well to BF from the start (despite being EBF for first 5 months) and only took a few minutes at a time, and ff has seemed to suit him a lot more and appears to satisfy him more.

You will come out the other side, it's awful but it doesn't last forever (that's what everyone told me, but it's true). And you weirdly get used to no sleep!

oh, also it seemed to improve once i'd got his daytime naps sorted. We'd got in bad habits of rocking/cuddling him to sleep as he cried. Instead I began to put him in his cot earlier (after about 1.5 hours awake time) after a wind down period of reading books and let him grumble (but never cry/scream) to sleep, this would always take up to 20 mins, but he soon began to settle himself again. Learning how to self settle day and night also improved things i think.

good luck x

Hi Elisajay sorry to hear things haven't got better yet. Nighttimes have here, after a week she went pretty much back to normal and now only wakes once after midnight (though it's usually an hr and a half as feeds are still really loooong). But that's ok, at least she goes back to sleep.

Thanks nmoo - I guess naps are the next challenge! Currently still a bit random - tho amazingly i put her down in her cot on Monday morning when she started looking sleepy and she slept for an hr. We were out yesterday tho and today she wasn't having it but has now nodded off on my arm so am going to try and put her down now. We tend to be out quite a bit in the mornings at baby groups etc and don't want to give that up for the sake of routine so am trying to work it so that if she sleeps in the pram or car it's around the same time each day.

Made up with DP but I think he still thinks I should get a proper daytime routine sorted. For the mo though nights are the main thing - can cope with anything if I've had at least a reasonable chunk of sleep in the night!

Thanks again for all the help.

Hi, had a much better night last night after a fairly hellish one the night before. DS is one week short of 5 months & was weighed today at 16lbs 13oz which keeps him in the same centile as he was at birth. Also had a long chat to the HV who suggested that given his size (he's long rather than chubby) and all the things he is doing, it may be time to introduce baby rice. Am going to try and hold out until he is 5 calendar months & will then give this a go. If he has a lunchtime nap he is still very unwilling to have another at around 4pm, but we'll keep working on it.