A weaning question for those who have BF for 2 years +

[TheProvincialLady]

I think I am ready for my DS2 to wean. He is 2.2 and I feel that 2.6 is about my limit. I have loved feeding him but now it is starting to get on my nerves. I would like to be able to go away for a day and night without worrying about it. I have not spent a night away from home without my children in nearly five years.

DS2 feeds twice or three times a day - morning, noon and evening. But he would prefer to feed non stop and just take little breaks morning noon and night instead If I stop suddenly he will be devastated, so I have given myself between now and 4 months(ish) time to do gentle weaning. But how? I would be really grateful for any kind ideas. If I have to go cold turkey in the end I probably will, but I would much rather not if possible. Thanks

I stopped one at 4 yrs and the other at 3. I was working full time during the day with both anyway so daytime feeds werent an issue. The only way I could do it with both was to explain it to them and then stop cold turkey. Took a couple of nights of crying but fine after that.

Honestly there is probably no reason why you can't go away for a night or two without your child, even without weaning.

Nursing a 2 year old is nothing like nursing a baby. If you are away overnight, he would likely cope just fine and want to nurse on your return.

I am guessing from your post that your 2 year old is in that ultra needy, desperately needing to nurse 'all the time' stage and you are wondering of he will ever wean.

It seems that 2 to 2.6 year old go through a period of intense and frequent nursing and I wonder if this is linked to the increased independence that children of this age display.

He will get over it and he will reduce his nursing in time, you can encourage him and see how things go. It might be easier on both of you if you don't set a final date now, but rather see how you and he feels day to day.

Good luck :)

Have you read that LLL book 'how weaning happens'? I read it when DS was tiny and seem to recall quite a few ideas/stories that might help.

I'm sorry I can't offer any practical advice myself, I stopped when DS was 2.1 and he was only feeding before bed. TBH I think it was a bit soon (am pg and wussed out at idea of tandem feeding) and do suspect that if I had kept going he would now be more like your DS and feed more frequently. Like Babieseverywhere says it would fit with increased independence/need for reassurance at this age... I think I might have just got a window, if you see what I mean.

He does still like to rest his cheek on my (bare) chest though when he feels tired or overwhelmed- and he is very insistent on there being no top/jumper/cardi in the way! (Luckily it doesn't have to be my actual boob!)

Do you know anyone in RL in/with experience of the same situation?

my ds1 was a nightmare to wean- he loved his juicy but when he was 2.6 i had a threatened miscarriage. i had weaned him down to one before his nap, bed and maybe one at night. to get this far took some time though and mainly lots of distraction-lots of baby groups, walks etc. to get him to fully wean i bought somne herbal tea for nursing mothers- something like milk no more?? not sure- this cut down my supply a bit- eventually he understood that the juicys were no more and that they had no milk left in them-they did though.it took a long time and not too many tears- HOWEVER, he is now 4.6 and his brother is 15 months old and whenever the 4.6 year old can have na oppotunity he tries to go for the breast! he even tweaks his dads breast area when he falls to sleep.
there is so much about about starting to breastfeed but very little about stopping!
i tried plasters..everything!
this time i am going to catch the right window-i hope and do lots of its night time and juicy has gone to sleep etc!

Thanks very much for your replies.

I have just got hold of that book CCH and I'm hoping it will have some ideas. I know a lot of people in RL who have stopped BF before now, and a lot of people who have gone on to feed until 3,4 and older - but no one in between IYSWIM? Most of my friends have had self weaners.

You are right Babies that I am worried he will never wean. I always thought I would feed DS until he was 2 (that year I mean, rather than on the dot) but I wasn't prepared for him wanting to feed so much more. He hassles me all day but I do not want to feed him more than I do. I get very sore during ovulation and my period, which is about 8-9 days every month. And I find it embarrassing to be asked when we are out and about. I have not fed in public for a long time as I fear being stared at/comments etc. I will admit that I feel uncomfortable with a 3 year old feeding - which is absurd and I wish I didn't feel that way. Goodness knows I have seen enough 3+ children being fed to get over my prejudice

Oh yes, and he has become very proprietorial over my breasts, pointing to them (fully clothed and nowhere near him!) and saying "That's MY mook". I feel absurdly uncomfortable with this.

I think I will carry on as we are for a month or two and then encourage him to drop the morning feed. He doesn't always feed at lunchtime if he is busy. I don't know how I will feel after that.

Thanks for the counselling