Is it possible to overfeed a bf 3 week old?

[tubbyglossop]

I'm trying to bf on demand, looking for early hunger cues. All good, except I'm feeling a bit insecure - it seems I'm feeding her pretty much all the time that she's awake, other than when I'm changing her nappy. She eats on and off until she falls asleep, and then seems to wake up hungry again. Is this normal at 3.5 weeks?

Thing is, when my dh takes her, even if she's sticking out her tongue and apparently rooting, and talks to her and shows her household objects or dances with her or whatever, she goes for ages without eating or crying.

So, I wonder, when I offer her the breast, is she accepting it as path of least resistance rather than because she's actually hungry? E.g. perhaps I'm mistaking looking interestedly around the room for rooting! Does anyone have any advice on distinguishing between hunger cues and "boredom cues", iykwim?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts!

IME this is completely normal! They mainly just sleep and feed at that stage. When your DH is holding her, she won't be able to smell that lovely milky smell she smells on you, so might "forget" that she's hungry temporarily, but that doesn't mean she wouldn't love a feed when she comes back to you.

You'll know she's bored rather than hungry if you offer her a feed and she doesn't want it (and if you're anything like me, will then think WTF do I do now?!)

tubby, your baby's behaviour sounds perfectly normal for a young baby. The breast, and breastfeeding, are far, far more than food and drink for a baby - bf is comfort, security, familiarity and love, and connection, emotional and social with you. Already she can accept and enjoy other forms of contact and connection by enjoying a dance and a 'chat' with her dad, but this will be for short times only...normal :)

Never ever fear that it is the 'path of least resistance' to offer a breastfeed. That is half a step away from thinking of bf as 'giving in to her' or 'making a rod for your own back' or even 'spoiling' which are all pernicious concepts when it comes to the care of a tiny baby. A baby's wants are the same as her needs - this is not the case with toddlers, obviously, who sometimes want some highly unsuitable things (like touching something hot, or poking the cat's eyes, or eating carpet fluff :)....and you step in, and stop, often offering something else interesting instead). But with a baby you can be confident that when she shows signs of fussing, or rooting, or other feeding cues, you can, and should, feed her.

There will be times when you will mistake her cues, and she really did want to look round the room instead. That's ok - she'll simply come off the breast and show you by her behaviour that this is not what she wants/needs right at this moment.

:)

Babies are different but mine would not suck if he was not interested.

Near constant feeding is pretty normal when they are so little and may be about comfort of being close to the one who carried them, as well as food - hence why they can be distracted when 'hungry' by your dh.

Nope. Keep feeding on demand - your milk supply is probably only just coming in properly. Her suckling will help you to produce more milk and then she will be able to feed more quickly.

Enjoy your close time together

Absolutely normal from my experience. I spent the first 6-8 weeks in a neverending feed/sleep cycle.

Snap for me when my DD was that age. Inc settling on your DH. In my crazy hormonal state I used to think DD liked DH better than me but infact it was just normal behaviour!

Hang on in there

Thank you all so much.

This is all so helpful to read. I feel so much better about it now - in fact I have a tear in my eye (in a happy, "people are so nice!" kind of way, not a sad way, I mean) [perhaps slightly overtired and emotional emoticon].

I'd started out following the advice from a midwife in the hospital to feed her for 20 minutes on each side and then wait at least 2 hours before feeding her again - I think in retrospect that this was as much to avoid my getting sore nipples as anything else.

I ditched this as I couldn't stand listening to her howl when she seemed hungry - and, lo and behold, when given the breast she seemed instantly happy again! Googling and reading about cluster-feeding and demand-feeding gave me the confidence to ditch the initial advice, but I was wondering whether this was normal, am I setting her up for a life of comfort-eating, am I over-feeding her, should I be doing what that midwife said, etc etc.

It is so helpful to know that this all seems normal, and that she will at some point stop eating when that is right for her - thank you!

:( that you recieved rubbish advice from your mw in hospital. You are doing absolutely the right thing by feeding her by her cues not the clock. :)

Terrible advice from the midwife! I think with my next baby I will ask every midwife that gives me breastfeeding advice whether they breastfed their own babies and how long for

At 3.5 weeks I don't think I even looked for hunger cues, I just offered a breast whenever he wasn't sleeping It does get to the point where they don't want it sometimes and then you have to think "shit, what do I do now?"

Gaa, what awful advice! I'm so glad you felt able to follow your instincts and so have a happy baby.