Having real trouble breastfeeding :(

[PDR]

My baby was born on Saturday night so he's 3 days old now and I am having real trouble feeding him.

I think I must be doing something wrong becuase my nipples are very sore and are bruised purple in the middle... but when I asked the MW if I was doing it ok she said yes

I fed him after delivery for 5-10 mins then up on the ward again only 5 mins. On Sunday I kept trying every 1/2 hour to feed him as he was very shakey and had low blood sugar - in the end the MW said I needed to give him some formula so I did.

Since then at home I have been trying at the breast for 20-30 mins but then I give up and give him formula.

I can get him to latch on but he kind of falls off again after a few sucks and it goes on like that until he either falls asleep or gets frantic.

Sorry this is a really long random post but if anyone has any advice for me that would be great.

The MW is coming back on Thursday so I will ask for her help then - I have called the NCT helpline but so hard to explain to someone without them seeing how I am doing it IYSWIM...

Do try the other organisations to see if there is someone nearer to you. Others have posted the numbers.

Did you mention tongue tie to your MW? Your DS does sound exactly like mine was. Although it does sound like things are improving, and it isn't hurting you unduly (I found b/f agonising), so hopefully this is not the issue and its just teething problems (so to speak!).

Hi PDR (waves from Feb group),

Me and DD have been aving exactly the same problem. She latched on, sucked for a few minutes, dropped off, tried again, and it ended up taking an hour to get maybe 20 minutes of 'useful' feeding into her. We were both exhausted, and she still kept losing weight (13% by day 8).

I'm very sorry to say we have now given up. My baby needed food quick and needed to not have to work so hard for it. I don't know what we were doing wrong, the MWs also said to us the latch looked fine and everything should be fine to just carry on, regardless of continuing weight loss.

She is now on a bottle and we are combination feeding EBM and formula. We were re-admitted to hospital on Wed, came out last night for an overnight homestay and went back this morning for a weigh in. We had one positive weigh in yesterday, and have maintained today.

I feel bad for not being able to crack the BF, there must have been something going wrong, but I tried and I tried and in the end it was doing neither of us any good. I will carry on expressing for a few weeks at least and top up with formula.

Don't beat yourself up about it, you are doing your best, and you may end up continuing to BF, or it may be that it's not the right thing for you and DS. What's important is to get food in him now.

Lots of +ve vibes coming your way as I know just what you're going through.

Dx

Hi everyone - blinking support group was lacking in supporters becuase it's 1/2 term. Just my luck There were a couple of mums there though and they said they couldn't see anything wrong with my latch. One gave me the number of a midwife who lives in the next town who she said might come and visit me at home so I will give her a bell on Monday.

Crystal yes we are feeding him every 3-4 hours now becuase of the jaundice. I have expressed 4 times today and am getting 3-4oz each time. Going to try again in a bit as breasts are feeling full.

girliefriend I have tried everything to wake him up - bath, nappy change, naked, blowing on cheek, tickling toes, stroking cheeks. He either stays asleep or wakes up, suckles for a bit but then falls off and either struggles to get back on or gives up and goes back to sleep

gaelicsheep I did mention it to MW yes and she said she couldn't see anything wrong with him... she wasn't very helpful tbh although she said she's had 6 kids She was a trainee midwife but not sure how far along... she was out on her own so I presume pretty close to qualifying.

Delia it's so hard isn't it. I really don't know what I am doing wrong either. Comforting to know I am not the only one going through this. Glad your DD is gaining/maintaining weight now... How often are you expressing and how much do you get each time? I'm not sure how long I can carry on expressing in the long-term as I have a toddler as well as the baby and DH goes back to work on 7th.

PDR, if you're going to phone a MW please please phone one of the helplines and get someone properly trained to speak to you or preferably see you. They may well know of the referral channels local to you as well. Here are all the numbers again:

National Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 100 0212

Association of Breastfeeding Mothers helpline 08444 122 949 - 9.30am to 10.30pm every day

Breastfeeding Network Supporterline: 0844 412 4664 - 9.30am to 9.30pm every day of the year

La Leche League Telephone Helpline: 0845 120 2918

NCT Breastfeeding Helpline: 0300 330 0771 - 8am?10pm, seven days a week

Congratulations on your little one's arrival :) I have only the experience of one DS but I think the most important thing is to try not to beat yourself up about any of this and to remember that at the moment you are probably still exhausted and need to be gentle with yourself. In particular in my experience the fact that BF is "natural" definitely doesn't mean that it is easy!

I am lucky to live in London so support was just a short walk away but I did get huge help and assistance from the HV's BF support group (even though for everything else the HVs were completely awful). In particular thoughout the whole time that the drop in session was running, they were playing a video which really helped me to understand the mechanics of it all.

Hope it gets more straightforward for you. Good luck with however it turns out - I "succeeded" in BFing exclusively for 5mo but to be honest my DS was much fuller, happier, better weight gain and he slept better once he started FF and purees. So again, I think the most important thing is not to beat yourself up - there's no perfect way.

Hi, glad you are sticking with it. My DD1 was easy to BF but DD2 was a complete nightmare and it took a lot longer for BF to become established. Initially she had tongue tie which was sorted at 3 weeks at which point my nipples were extremely sore and this led to thrush and then also mastitis but I perservered and am still feeding at 15mo - only once a day but nevertheless . I tried expressing also but she wouldn't take a bottle or a syring until 7 months old. THey do tend to fall asleep and you could try tickling to wake him up and so he continues to feed. or compression of the breast which then puts more milk into his mouth although sometimes my DD2 just used to spit it back out at me. Have you got a local baby cafe or similar? I found mine very good. But my saviour with DD2 was my HV who was excellent. He's still so small yet and he has to learn the ropes and you have to relearn them with a different baby - that was something I forgot. I just thought that because i'd fed DD1 for 18 months no problem then baby 2 would be the same and she wasn't at all and still isn't but she is v cute .

you could also ask for a referral to a lactation clinic through your midwife.

Right called another helpline and someone local is going to call back later and arrange to come round :)

Also had a real breakthrough this morning - baby fed for about 15 mins on each breast and although he did fall off a couple of times he was able to get himself straight back on :) Felt really good! I know he was getting loads as I could hear him guzzling it down!

Great news PDR- good that you feel that you are making some progress.

It does take a bit of time usually for both you and the LO to really 'get' bfing.

Brilliant too, that someone is going to come and see you face to face. Hope they can give you some more help.

Have a good weekend.

Thats great PDR. Just keep him close and let him feed when he wants, even if it is for 5 mins, then off for 10 then on for 2 etc etc... Don't expect a 20 min feed every 4 hours at this stage. You are doing fab, and so pleased you are getting some RL help. :)

Fwiw a newborn needs feeding far more often than every 3-4 hours round the clock. A few gaps that long each day would be okay, but feeding every 3 hours only gives 8 feeds a day and a newborn should be bfing at least 8-10 times a day afaik.

Have had a really good day :) Not needed to express or give formula at all and am sucesfully bfeeding him for 10-20 mins every 2-3 hours. He is staying on for most of that time as well and if he does fall off he seems to be able to get himself back on without too much fuss.

Counsellor came this afternoon and was really helpful - though I did feel a bit bad as doing so much better today! I probably needed her to come a couple of days ago but oh well!

That's fantastic news, well done to you both

Fantastic, well done!!! It will just get eaiser and eaiser

Thats great PDR, so pleased you've had some RL advice, and now have a point of contact if things don't continue to improve. I'm so pleased for you being able to exclusively bf your DS today, what a great acheivement. Keep up the good work :)

How lovely to see such a positive thread. Well done and keep up the good work.

Great work PDR and your DS. Be proud for sticking with it - breastfeeding mothers deserve all the credit they can get

Hi everyone - in case anyone is interested I am still breastfeeding and just giving one bottle per day (to give myself a bit of a rest) and I feel very happy with this system. DS weighed 8lbs 9oz at birth and is now 10lbs 12 at 3 1/2 weeks so must be doing something right!

Milk supply has settled down and am no longer leaking all over the shop! If anyone is reading this as they are also struggling please see that you can get through it even when you are about to give up!

Hey that's fantastic news PDR- so great to hear that things are going well.

Thanks for the update it's so nice when people come back with positive news.

Brilliant!

Really pleased for you and your DS PDR