I don't think my heart is in it this time round. Can I get it back?

[soppypreggyloon]

I was so keen to BF ds 2years ago. I tried so hard but after advice from experts, his latch being checked as fine, his tonguetie snipped (although realised at 18mo they hadn't snipped properly) and me grinning and bearing it I gave up. I was getting so upset by it. Crying during each and every 2h feed, trying to avoid the feeds as they hurt so much. In the end it was BF or start to consider the possibility of having PND I think

This time I know I should BF dc2, I know all the benefits etc etc but I don't think my heart is in it. I've bought a steriliser and a few bottles (which will be good for EBF) but I just can't see myself managing to do it. Especially with a demanding toddler.

How can I get back to wanting to BF and not just feeling like I should?

Sounds like you maybe would like to give it another go but are worrying that it'll be hard again this time round.

I'm not sure there is much I can say to make you feel better about it. But I would just like to point out that every BF baby relationship is different. I had a 2hourly feeder first time round who for the first 6week's took an hour to feed. Wasn't quit sure how I was going to cope with that and a toddler only to end up with DS. Who feed's for 10min max and goes 3-4hours between feed's from day one. That was such a shock that I kept on wanting to poke him awake to feed him but he's a boy who knows what he want's and only feed's when he's hungery. Plus he put on weight fine so no problems there.

I guess I'm trying to say that it could be much easier this time round so why not give it a try and if you find it all to much switch to formula knowing your doing what's best for you.

I'm not sure I have any pearls of wisdom other than like MigGril said they're all different.

I desperately wanted to feed my DS but he just didn't get the hang of BF and was much happier on the bottle. I had a hard time coming to terms with it, but in the end it was bottle or PND, bit litle you.

With my DD I wanted again to BF but was a bit dispondent with the thought of it and like you bought bottles/teats and formula. However my DD came out and latched on straight away and we've not looked back. She had a bottle for the first 5 days as a top up as my milk took a while to get established but she's not taken a bottle since.

Just take it as it comes, try and it and see. If it works out then great if you have to give the odd bottle or you go onto bottles full time then thats ok. The most important thing is its got to be the right decision for you and your family and that includes your toddler too. I did envy those mums who could give baby to daddy with bottle and got to spend time with their other one.

Hope all goes well.

I had real mixed feelings about trying to breastfeed my second after having dreadful problems with DS a bit like you describe. I remember saying to my HV that I would try, but I wouldn't be beating myself up about it if it didn't work. On the other hand I did want it to work, if only to lay to rest the ghosts of the first time around.

I really struggled to establish breastfeeding with DD but I was surprised that I was NOT happy to just move on. The hormones kicked in, I guess, and I ended up super determined to make it work (with many wobbles along the way). And we did make it work, and I am so glad now that I persevered. Breastfeeding DD is so different from my experience with DS, and I could so easily have deprived us of that.

Give it a go, see how you feel. I hope that you, like me, will find second time around a lot more positive which may help to heal some of the wounds from your first experience.

HTH a little. x