Help, how do I stop BF when DD doesn't want to?

[MarineIguana]

I'm sure this has been done before and have searched, but not found this exactly.

DD is nearly 12 months and my plan was always to stop breastfeeding at 1. But she still loves it and will take very little milk from a bottle or cup (even EBM) - we're trying and sometimes she'll have a bit, and sometimes she'll have water, but tiny quantities compared to what she drinks when bf. I've tried cutting down during the day in preparation for stopping, but I get a very upset baby constantly clawing at my top. I still get sore and swollen norks and tbh, although it's a wrench in some ways, I've been looking forward to stopping.

She does go to nursery some days where she manages with small amounts of milk and water until I pick her up and she fills up on breastmilk. Plus she's up in the night to bf and we haven't sorted that yet - want to try offering only water, but she's had loads of winter bugs so that keeps getting put off because I want her to get enough liquid.

She eats solid food OK and I do give her yoghurt and creamy porridge etc to help her get more milk.

Given that she obviously doesn't want to stop I'd keep going a bit longer, except that there's an important event coming up in a few weeks where she will have to be left with a babysitter over bedtime and put to bed. I don't know how they can do that if she won't have a proper feed. Now I'm thinking maybe I'll have to come back to the house to do bedtime and then go out again for the evening (which is far from ideal but I could).

Sorry to ramble, any tips gratefully received.

Would it be fair to say that you'd be happy to carry on for the moment, if it wasn't for this big event? If that's the case, it seems a little harsh on both of you to stop for just one missed bedtime. If she manages OK at nursery, if you fill her up when you're with her, and leave plenty of things she'll try when there's no alternative, for one evening she'd be fine, especially if you're not staying out all night and could feed her when you got in.

It's amazing what babies will do for other people when you're not around and a breastfeed isn't an option. At her age she may also change her behaviour quite a bit even in the next few weeks. It also may be that you have to let the babysitter do a whole load of things you wouldn't normally do at bedtime, to distract from the lack of feed: TV, rocking, buggy sleeping, shoulder sleeping, whatever does the trick. It's only one evening.

If you do want to start winding down, rather than cutting out particular feeds (if she's that consistent) all together, you could try delaying each one a little, either with alternative food and drink, or with distraction with activities, so spread over a day she may have one feed less. Over a couple of weeks you could have spaced her feeds out enough to have in effect 'dropped' a couple. The NCT breastfeeding line is a good place to start for advice on cutting down and/or stopping breastfeeding. 0300 330 0771

Thanks so much mij, so much good advice in one post! I feel reassured about the babysitting and will try these things.