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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Bfing crisis - don't know if I can do this anymore

14 replies

Swaliswan · 21/02/2011 11:13

DC3 is 9 weeks old and has been a feeding nightmare from the start. i have issues with oversupply and fast let down. He is now refusing point blank to feed and arches his back. If I try really hard to coax him into a feed, he will have a tiny bit and then scream. Most of the time he screams at me no matter what I do. He will only comfort suck on a dummy.

I can't do this anymore. I BFed my older two for 16 months and 14 months but I am seriously considering FFing now. He won't even tolerate me holding him in a BFing position and screams as soon as my nipple is near his mouth.

I'm sat here in tears with DD1 next to me and DC3 crying in his bouncy chair as I can't comfort him no matter how hard I try SadSadSad

OP posts:
Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 21/02/2011 11:19

Oh, you poor thing.

Right, if you b'fed for so long with the other two, you know about supply and demand and growth spurts and whatnot, so it's not that.

Tongue tie? Reflux? Have you talked to anyone about your concerns? It does sound very very hard. Is he putting on weight and weeing and pooing and all of those things?

Original poster
Swaliswan · 21/02/2011 11:22

He is following his line exactly and weeing and pooing fine. I can normally coax him to feed just enough but he is never settled.

OP posts:
NotQuiteCockney · 21/02/2011 12:03

The thing is, if you tend towards oversupply, it tends to get worse with each baby. Sorry, I know that's not good news for you, but at least you know.

How are you feeling? Any blocked ducts, mastitis? Are your breasts generally really full?

There are some tricks that can help with fast letdown - feeding uphill, expressing off a bit first, or blocking some ducts for the initial let down. That can reduce the 'firehose' feeling.

I think 'foremilk/hindmilk' issues are something too many mums worry about, but if you tend towards oversupply and he is only having v short feeds, this may be an issue here.

Block feeding can help with that problem, and with the fast let-down and oversupply, but of course isn't pleasant to implement (for you, more than for your DS).

He may just be unsettled because he's a baby, and some of them are unsettled. Skin to skin can help with that, for some babies.

Cosmosis · 21/02/2011 12:06

I was going to suggest expressing a bit off first as well, to get the initial force of let down out of the way.

japhrimel · 21/02/2011 12:33

Could it be reflux or wind? Does he scream if you lie down or put him in a reclined chair too?

I know how hard it is when they fight you at the breast (DD had a phase of that too) but FF may not be the answer. My friends with FF babies seem to have a harder time with them screaming and being unsettled.

MamaChris · 21/02/2011 12:48

sounds very hard. when dt2 (who screamed what felt like constantly for the first 3 months) was too upset to feed, the only thing that worked was putting him in a sling and stamping/dancing about while saying shhh very loudly. when he was calm or sleepy he was easier to feed. feeding him lying back helped. I've also heard to let them suck till the first let down, then pull them off, and let the milk run into a muslin, then put them back, but for some reason I don't leak milk without a baby attached.

see kellymom on oversupply.

if it helps to know, dt2 is much happier now (4mo), and I'm glad I stuck with it. he will finally comfort suck, and even feed to sleep, which is lovely. but with him it wasn't just the feeding, he would scream whatever, so I didn't think ff would have helped.

witchwithallthetrimmings · 21/02/2011 12:51

block feeding really helped for me and dd, as did feeding when she just woke up.

bebemooneedsabreak · 21/02/2011 13:03

Other thing to check is whether your mite has any white spots in his mouth... could be an yeast infection in the mouth...my dn had this and would not/could not eat because it was so painful.

I'd agree with expressing some off too to ease 'flow.' When things finally starting working for me and dd I did this if we were ever late for feeds/I was engorged or she'd flail about too and refuse to take the next time as well.

Try hard not to stress (as your stress will 'feed' you dd's). (so hard I know!) Try singing, or playing soothing music before during and after. Spend time holding him in the 'feeding position,' but give him something else to sooth him -if the pacifier works go with that or maybe try other things. I also found that curling around dd while laying on the bed and feeding helped to keep her calm.

Original poster
Swaliswan · 21/02/2011 15:22

I'm just back from a friend's and feeling less tearful after some tea and a chat. DS also had a big sleep and has now fed really quite well. I don't know if he is preferring to spread his food and sleep round the clock for some reason but he seems to be doing that today Hmm

I should add that I'm only considering FFing because he downed some EBM from a bottle when he was refusing 'direct from source' BM the other day.

I'm going to see the BFing counsellors at the hospital tomorrow for some help and support.

OP posts:
emsken · 21/02/2011 16:24

my sister has the same problem so she expresses and her daughter feeds fine now!!

Original poster
Swaliswan · 21/02/2011 19:31

It seems that I am being usurped by a dummy and a bottle SadAngry DS much preferred having a bottle of EBM for his bedtime feed tonight and refused to feed from me until he was really sleepy and I swapped the bottle for a boob when he wasn't looking! I have no idea how things are going to turn out. I've always taken breastfeeding for granted before and worked through any problems. Both DD1 and DD2 used to push a dummy or a bottle out of their mouth and look at me in disgust though. It's typical that the first baby I'd rather not bother expressing for so that I could get away with not doing one feed a day is the baby that demands to be fed like that

OP posts:
Original poster
Swaliswan · 22/02/2011 14:31

A little update...

I went to see the BFing counsellors this morning and was seen by a wonderful lactation consultant. She noticed that DS had a tongue tie which I had suspected in the past but been reassured that he didn't have Hmm Anyway, DS had his tongue tie snipped so we'll have to wait and see if this helps at all. I'm hoping that he might be less windy and therefore more comfortable and able to feed from me.

I'm quite proud that I've managed to feed a baby with a tongue tie for 9 weeks Smile

OP posts:
MamaChris · 22/02/2011 14:54

fantastic! well done!

all my 3 had a TT. the first couple of days after they were snipped were harder than before, I think as they had to relearn how to use their tongue. after that it did improve and my windy baby did, indeed, get much less windy :) I've heard for some people it's an immediate improvement, so it's not guaranteed to get hard, but if it does, stick with it.

mamsnet · 22/02/2011 14:59

Wow.. Poor you, and poor baby. Hopefully all will be ok now.. I'm running out the door and haven't read everything but.. Have you tried feeding lying down to help with fast let down??

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