Having a nightmare on BF positions - help!

[CupcakesHay]

Hopefully someone might help. My boobs are GIANT and a i have a bit of a tummy... I have been rugby-balling my 2 week old DS but using 3 pillows to put him on. However, realise this is not going to transfer to the real world and BF outside my house.

Today I tried putting 1 pillow across my tummy. I managed to feed ok with my left boob but my right boob is causing problems as my nipple pretty much faces very down and very much to the right - so it makes it really hard to feed any other style than rugby ball.

I'm trying not to panic - but i'm wondering how on earth I will ever feed in public!

Plus I'm feeding my DS every time now from both boobs - is that normal?

Sorry for all the questions - hopefully someone can help?

Totally normal to feed from both boobs. I did for every feed with dd2.

I used to hold dd differently to how people tole me to to feed. She was never body to body IYSWIM.

Have you got any breast feeding groups near you that you could go to for some help?

It is too soon to be worrying about feeding in public. At this stage, the only things that matters are a) is he feeding enough? and b) is it pain-free?

If you have those covered, you are doing amazingly.

It won't feel like it right now, but as the days and weeks go by, you both get the hang of it much better. In a couple of weeks you will have a whole repertoire of positions, and a few weeks after that he will be able to do it all your help.

Please don't worry, you are doing brilliantly. If you really want to go out and feed in public, if you are worried take a muslin or feeding cover, or find a quiet spot to do it in. Honestly, in a few weeks time you won't need either of these things, you will both be professionals!

without your help, sorry!

I'm kind of scared to go to a group. I know that sounds stupid - worried i'll look stupid and scared to go on own (well, apart from with DS!)

loopy thanks for making me feel a bit better. I think i'm concious of the public thing cos i know i've got a birthday lunch thing to go to for my brother's birthday - 6th March. So I know, knowing my luck DS will need a feed half way through... plus we live abroad as DH works for FCO/British Embassy in Syria - so we're flying in 7 weeks... so i'm thinking about the whole airport thing.

Do you know when I can think about expressing with an electric pump?

If you can wait until supply has settled (3-6 weeks) before pumping it's best. And ideally wait until you both have the hang of bfing before introducing the complication of a bottle.

As babies get bigger, feeding - especially feeding discretely - gets so much easier, don't worry. Feeding covers or scarfs can helf with confidence at first too.

I found feeding lying down much easier - even when really confident bf I didn't ever find rugby ball hold easy.

two easiest ways I found lying down (well, on a bed with 2-3 pillows behind me rather than proper lying down flat) were:
1 - lie on your back (propped up with pillow in bed is fine), put baby across you so chin just in front of nipple and then mouth sort of falls onto nipple in good position

2 - lie on your side, have baby lying down next to you and facing you but with baby looking slightly up . have baby's face next to your boob that's closest to the bed and then you can sort of pop the nipple in. Only rider to this is I wouldn't ever do this if I was really tired just in case I fell asleep on my ds.

Sorry, option 2 sounds a bit weird but if you are lying there it sort of just works somehow.

Other thing is don't be afraid to hold either your boob and/or baby's head with your hand to get into the right place; once you are comfortable with how it is going you'll be able to shiggle you both into a comfy position once your ds is latched on.

I struggled to feed ds2 to start with (couldn't do it at all with ds1) and was on the verge of giving up until a fantastic midwife suggested feeding lying down.

Once I got comfy with it, it became easier to sit up more and more, until before I knew it I was able to feed him sitting up, albeit the hold evolving from me feeding him lying down rather than learning a separate hold for sitting up IYSWIM.

It was also a good excuse to escape to the {relative) peace and quiet of the bedroom at feed times and leave ds and dh to cope without me around!

hope this makes sense and good luck, if you've got this far it should get easier from here on in!

I have boobs a bit like yours. I lie DD across my knee looking up at the nipple and then support the breast with the free hand and then latch her on.

If you have pendulous/big boobs, its quite important to support the breast at this early stage, I found, otherwise the weight of the breast is too heavy and they lose their latch.

Breastfeeding is like learning to drive. Once you've mastered it, it's a doddle and you do it without thinking about it.

I feel like I could have written your post ten months ago. Positioning has always been an issue for me. I have huge bombs too and like you, initially I could only do the rugby position when my dd was feeding from my right boob. I used to take ages sorting pillows, patting them, moving them, taking one away, adding one on etc etc. I found it all quite stressful especially in public when my dd was screaming for a feed and I couldn't get positioning right. Then one day a relative gave me a v-shaped pillow and things started to get much easier. Ten months on I still use the pillow, and have invested in another. My dd lies along it facing me with her head tilted upwards slightly and I hold my breast. My other hand is free to read, text, eat, drink or cuddle my dd! Since I got my pillow things just clicked into place. I keep one in the car and take it everywhere in the pram! Yes its big and bulky but so worth it.
I'm not necessarily saying you should buy a pillow (but maybe give one a go and see if it helps) but what I'm saying is it does get easier, you will find a position that is right for you and once you have fed in public a few times you will find that you will be confident to feed anywhere.
I attend a breastfeeding group most weeks and they are great. Don't be embarrassed. Your problem is not uncommon. Its great to meet other breastfeeding mums too and just relax for an hour or so. Its also great practice at feeding in front of others. No one will judge you.

I was shown the rugby ball in hosp and was the only way I could feed DD (now 6 weeks old) When she was 3 weeks old I managed 'across' on one side but not the other. I fed her before we went out and hoped the non-rugby ball side would be enough while we were out (I felt too exposed this way). Yesterday I went to a bf coffee group, small, informal and v.friendly to ask them to show me the right angle to feed across-ways. It def took me that long to be willing to ask for help, really wanted to be confident BFing first IYSWIM. They were lovely and now I'm practising. Remember the other people in these groups are in the same boat as you, and they want to help. Good luck!

Thank you for all your help. I'm down to 2 pillows now! Ha ha - i sound like an addict!

I am planning to go to a breast feeding group next week, so maybe i can ask their advice (if i feel confident enough)

Fingers crossed it'll go better in the next few weeks.

Remember that all the other Mums at the bf group once felt like you too and will most likely want to make you feel very welcome and at ease. If in doubt you have the babies to talk to/ask about... all the usual, 'how does he sleep' etc questions. You'll find something in common with someone and you will have exhaustion in common with all of them :)

It really helped me getting out and about and being in the company of other bf Mums is a good start as you dont have the extra worry about ppl looking/commenting (not that they ever do, but you worry about it anyway).

Feeding positions really really will get easier, especially as your LO gets a bit bigger and not as 'floppy' IYKWIM. And you'll get more coordinated with the whole boob flopping thing. Honestly. I too could have written your post 15 weeks ago. You're doing a great job by the sounds of it :)

I could only rugby hold on the RS (working with the "angle of the dangle") for the longest time. If out and about, I would feed from the LS only.

Now at 4 months I could waggle LO blindfolded at a nipple and she'd hoover it in. :o

Er, in any sort of hold, that is. I just kept trying, and it eventually worked.