feeding at night in the dark

[anne74]

Even though DS is now 8 weeks old, we are still getting to grips with breastfeeding. I need to be able to see what I'm doing. I can't even manage if DS gets his hands in the way. At night, obviously I don't want to put all the lights but I have a small lamp on in the corner so that I can see DS during the night. When I've tried to feed using just this light I can barely see what I'm doing and we normally end up with a rubbish latch if I can get him on at all. He's half asleep, I'm half asleep and I can't see what I'm doing.

I usually manage to do a last feed at 11ish or so before I go to bed and then I've been giving him a bottle of formula in the middle of the night on some nights, partly to ensure he gets a good feed and to avoid the stress of battling to get a good latch in the dark. I then get a bit more light in the room for his early morning feed at 6.30 or so.

Is it ok to do this on a regular basis or is there some other way I could manage to breastfeed in the middle of the night? I also don't really want to be putting all the lights on in the middle of the night as it will wake my DH up. We ended up sleeping on the sofa for a long time so as to avoid disturbing DH.

I do have a lamp on his room where I do his nappy changes in the night and I could maybe feed in there during the night. It would definitely be light enough. I wish we were good enough at breastfeeding to feed in the dark and in bed. I've practised feeding lying down and just can't manage it.

I'd be really grateful for your advice with this.

I got one of those autofade lights here, that way you can turn it up as bright as you need it, or I would just take him into another room.

I used to put my fairly bright bedside light on and read the papers during night feeds. I never got the hang of it in the dark.

If anyone is sleeping on the sofa then it should be your DH! Can he sleep on there so you can feed with the light on. Or he could get one of those eye masks so the light doesn't disturb him.

At the beginning I would press a button on my mobile to light up the screen - its not too bright and only lasts 15 sec's. I also used to put my finger in her mouth to guide her up to the nipple then put her near to attach herself.
Now DD is 7 months and could attach through a wetsuit. Soon he will guide himself honest.

I used to prod Dh and get him to put the light on .then I got more used to it,and found I could latch her on in the dim light from the window if I left the curtains open.Now my dd is 3 she can latch on herself in the dark,its years since I needed the light on.Do wish I'd learned to latch her on lying down though,i still sit up to feed,although luckily she rarely wakes at night now.

So you think I shouldn't just avoid the whole thing and give a bottle? One difficulty I have is I have large floppy boobs (!) and so feeding is a 2 handed activity. I did think about using my mobile to light up the area but I don't have a hand free.

Have just ordered one of those lights. They look great and I'm sure will be useful even when DS has moved into his own room.

I guess I'm a bit nervous of not managing to get him latched on properly but then just putting up with it so that he feeds and goes back to sleep. I've had such problems with sore nipples and they are finally starting to heal but I still hesitate sometimes before getting him on, which actually makes it worse because then he just catches the end of the nipple because I pull away and that's agony. I just don't want to go backwards.

I'll keep trying to persevere. I am a bit worried about the effect on my supply if I don't feed during the night but it seems to be ok at the moment. I just want the whole feeding thing to be the least stressful possible whereas to date it seems to be all being a mum is all about.

We use a fade light - fantastic!

We bought a fader attachment from Ikea that you can plug any light into & used that. Later on when I didn't need as much light we got a cushion with a light in it - sounds weired but it is designed for night feeds & casts the softest glow. It is called the Tommee Tippee Bela Baby Nurse & Glow. I think it is hard to find as have only seen them secondhand, but we used it constantly anytime we wanted to keep the light low.

I was also a two-handed feeder cos of big boobs - are you using a feeding cushion? I used one that clipped around my waist which made things much easier. You may be able to feed lying down when babe is a bit older so keep trying, & you will have the advantage of being able to feed both sides lying down without having to roll over cos the upper boob is big enough to reach babe's mouth without rolling over onto him.

Night feeding is important initially for supply and don't worry it does get easier! With ds1 I had a whole operation going on but by 12 weeks we both knew what we were doing as I could latch him anywhere with now trouble and have at least one hand free. I was the same as you didn't want to disturb dh so I took ds1 downstairs and put hall light on so not too bright for him. This time around bf is so much easier but I still needed a lamp for first few weeks, I got myself a nursing chair from eBay and feed ds2 in his room on that it's bliss compared to cold leather sofa with ds1!! Good luck and don't worry you'll get there :)

what elvis girl says about lying down to feed. with ds1 I would lie on my side and feed from the lower boob. this time they're bigger/floppier and I would need to hoik the lower boob up to find a nipple, and hold it the whole time. the upper boob is much easier (I just lean over a little), but it didn't occur to me this was possible for several weeks. I still often need a dim light though or I'll be shoving a nipple in a baby's ear.

it will get easier as your ds gets more head control, and a bigger mouth. the first few weeks do seem to be all about feeding but as your ds grows he will start to be interested in the world around him too and feeding will become just one part of being a mum rather than the biggest part, honest :)

In the early weeks I used one of those head torches, imagine a miners lamp, only smaller!! it had a red night light so didn't blind the baby and I could see well enough to latch her on.

Are you getting some RL help with your nipples and your latch anne? Sounds like you have been having a tough time of it.

Agree with the others that it should be your DH on the sofa, not you. Didn't think that FSIDS recommended sleeping on the sofa with a baby, but I could be wrong.

Hope you find a way of making your night feeds easier soon. I don't know what affect giving formula will have but a Bfing Counsellor should be able to tell you about the impact on your supply, have you called one of the helplines to talk it through?

Sounds like you've found a good light but just to add another option, I use a nightlight - v cheap, Mothercare own brand - it has a sensor so only comes on when it's dark. It's light enough for me to feed by, but dim enough that I can sleep with it on. The main light has a dimmer switch which is also helpful. Hope you find a good solution, good luck!

I have been getting loads of help with the latch and it is sort of getting better so I haven't seen anyone in a while. He no longer causes major damage to the nipple but now is causing loads of friction on the areola instead. It's really sore. I don't know what else I can do except persevere until his mouth gets a bit bigger. He's 8 weeks but only approx 3.5kgs and 5 weeks prem.

I was in mothercare today and saw those dimmer lights. Will see how I get on with the one that's coming. It should be here tomorrow. I had also considered the headlamp option. We've got them and my DH suggested it but i thought it was a bit daft. Clearly not!

DS has been wanting to feed all day today and I'm so sore. It's days like these where I wonder if I want to carry on. I might have to give him a bottle tonight just to give my boobs a rest

Thanks for all the advice.

I think DD was about 8 weeks when we were able to feed in dark and with one hand. I have a bedside clock app for phone which gives enough light to see by and i stick a muslin over it to dim it after feeding.

DD stopped pooing in night once she got night and day sussed so I stopped changing nappies in night. I figure once she's sleeping through she wont be getting changed and the less disruption the better.

I prefer sitting up in bed to feed- I didn't like latching her on then dozing off. I would wake up not knowing whether she'd actually fed. And rolling from one side to other was a PITA as i was always pulling the fitted sheet off the bed. Definately recommend a co-sleeper cot- pics in my profile of our set-up. I was really chuffed when she finally got used to it. I was desperate for my duvet back instead of faffing with blankets.

An alternative to autofade lamp is basic dimmer lamp from asda. Don't know if it was faulty but our autofade made an annoying buzzing noise all night.

BF gets much easier IME after the first couple of months. Sounds like you're doing well to persevere. I had a lot of pain but it went after working on latch. Not generally recommended but ladies at bf group were raving about medela nipple shields for letting sore nips heal. No experience of them myself. Good luck.

i have a touch controlled bedside light that has three settings and the dimmest one is ideal for night feeds. you will find in another month or so that your DS can latch himself on if you stick his head in vaguely the right place. i often put my light on the medium setting so that i can see to read while i feed as otherwise i'd fall asleep. the other day it was 6.30am and i normally have a rule that i don't feed till 7am but he was shouting and shouting so i picked him up and fed him without turning the light on at all and it was no problem - just aimed baby's head in roughly the right direction and he did the rest himself (he's 7 mo).

i second the recommendation to try nipple shields when your nipples really need a break - they do help.

for me i didn't get to pain-free feeding till 8 weeks and it fel like forever. part of the problem was him not opening his mouth wide enough, and he was 4.02kg born so not small. it will get easier as he grows, promise.

One of the most awesome things about feeding DS now he's 7 months old is that I can lie on my side and he can sit up and help himself from the upper breast. It's so cute! seriously though, you need to turn a dim side light on just while the baby latches on and then turn it off and feed in the dark. And you do realise, don't you, that you only HAVE to chang a baby's nappy in the night if it poos? You can leave wee.

My DD is 8 months and I have never ever trusted her to latch herself on and never ever will. She will randomly latch on to anything, and she's given me very sore patches in the past with her barracuda-like suck. I have one of those Tomy baby monitors. The monitor bit is completely useless for us as DD is never by herself (I mean it, not ever - she screams blue murder) but it has a night light which is just at the right level. We feed lying down with the night light on. Once she's settled I turn it off if I'm still awake, otherwise it stays on.

The light you've ordered is brilliant and I'm sure it will solve your 'feeding in the half-light' problems. And, as you say, great as a nightlight for when they sleep in their own room. DD (4) still has hers and we also bought one for DS (6wks).

I would second what someone else said that you should definitely not be sleeping on the sofa mainly because it can be dangerous if you doze off while feeding. And your DS shouldn't be sleeping on the sofa with you (although I'm sure he's not.) It was the one thing our very laid back breastfeeding counsellor was adamant about. DH can sleep there if necessary.

Oh, and the two-handed feeding thing is such a pain. I do feel for you.

Fingers crossed that this light will arrive today.