Is HV right re nighttime feeds..?

[legallyblond]

DD is 18 and a half weeks and is ebf. The bf is great and her weight gain has been mad.. she was born 75th centile, now 98th centile (and way over the top centile line for height - sort of like me as I am 5' 11" and a normal bmi of about 20 or 21). So anyway, she's a pretty big baby - she is now nearly 19lbs!

Anyway, since about 10/11 weeks she has been waking a lot at night - sometimes every 2 hours - and most of those times having a good feed. A "normal" night was like last night: Fed at 7.45 and went to bed, then had another quick feed at 9. She then woke at 12.30, 3 and 5am, before properly waking at 7 or 7.30. That's a pretty normal night for her. Its not quite as bad as it sounds as she (and I) pretty much do all the night feeds in our sleep as she's just in the crib next to the bed. I am probably awake for about 10 mins with each wakening.

On "bad" nights when she wakes sooner than 2 hours after the last feed, I or DH try to cuddle or just sush her back to sleep, which sometimes works. Its about 50/50.

Anyway, I mentioned all this to HV today as so far she has been really excellent re bf'ing etc. She was shocked at how much DD is waking and said that DD has just got into the habit of these night feeds and doesn't need them at all. She suggested I just start withholding night feeds now. Really? Is that right? I know loads of my friends' babies are "sleeping through" but they are all ff and/or I thought there was at least an element of stretching the truth going on!

Should I really start withholding DDs night feeds now, at 4 months? How long is normal for a bf baby of this age to go between feeds?

Tell her to cock off. She's talking bollocks, your baby is still tiny, yes some babies sleep through at this stage but if yours is waking and wanting food it's because she's hungry. Congrats on your daughter!

I think the question is do you mind being woken up that many times in the night? If not then carry on how you are.

If it doesn't bother you, no reason to stop. Technically the HV is probably right and your baby doesn't need all those feeds - but probably does still need some. My DS at 7 months is now feeding more often at night than he did at 4 months - no idea why, but just roll with it.

If she is taking a full feed then she needs the feeds! If she is just suckling and flutter feeding then she's just finding a nice place to go back to sleep (my little lady had this habit!)

I decided to be 'strong' and when she started grizzling I would leave her for a while to see what would happen. I can't say it happened overnight, but she did go off some of the times she woke, and after a few nights I realised she will self-settled when she doesn't need a feed.

Do you feed her as soon as she's grizzling? Possibly try leaving her for a bit and seeing what happens. If you feel she's really needing a feed...GO FOR IT!!

xxx

She will probably grow out of it on her own. If it's not a problem for you, it's not a problem. Conversely, if you need things to change, you can try to change them gently if you want to.

Thanks! I would say she's having a proper feed most of the time and only one of those night feeds is a "comfort me back to sleep" feed. I do normally try sushing etc first and only feed when she doesn't settle. That said, I've never actually let her get to proper crying at night... so maybe I am feeding too soon..? Hmmm.

I have only just started to mind waking so often. I literally never felt tired until a couple of weeks ago.

I think she's talking rubbish - you can tell the difference between an 'I'm really hungry' feed and an 'Oh a nipple, I'll just have a go on that since it's here'

If she's hungry, she's hungry and making her wait seems like a recipe for horrific nights to me.

For what it's worth, mine's 6 months now, and has just started to cut down to only a couple of night feeds, we co-sleep so it's pretty much on offer the whole time but he's started to roll over on his own when he's full and stay asleep for longer.

If you let her get to "proper" crying, chances are she won't go back to sleep (and you'll feel shite and be awake longer than ten minutes!).

18 weeks is really very young still - really.

Four months seems pretty tiny. We night weaned at seven months for those reasons - it seemed obvious to us that it was a comfort thing rather than a hunger thing - but by then DS was on solids and a fair bit bigger. Tis up to you though!

(we had a fairly hellish week doing it - DH took over all the night time stuff and would cuddle DS and offer water, but got screamed at a lot. However, after about a week he was sleeping through to 5am, having previously woken every two hours or so)

thing is , if you withold feeds.. which i think is a bad idea at this young age.. you or your DH is going to have to get up and comfort and soothe her, as , rightly, she is used to crying in the night, and having her needs met.

i think that it is usual to have a sleep regression around this age anyway

and a growth spurt

i feel that a baby of 4 months needs , not just wants, but needs food and the comfort that goes with it. at night.

if the shushing and soothing does not work, then it is telling you she is hungry

i don;t see that witholding night feeds will make life easier or give any of you more sleep

DD3 is 16 MONTHS old and DH & I are only going to night wean (if we do at all) from 18 months at the earliest.

She has a feed at 6.30/7pm then usually sleeps until sometime between 10pm-12am when she has a feed then sleeps again until around 4am for a feed then sleeps until 7amish - she sometimes goes 7pm-4amish or 10pm-12am - 7am it jsut depends.

I only count feeds after 12am and before 6am as night feeds so she only has the one night feed .

Babies need their mothers (and their fathers though not in a nutritional sense) at night when they are young so to delay nursing them when they need it seems a bit mean (though understandable if you can't cope with night feeds!). Perhaps try waiting until your daughter is over 6 months before trying any sleep techniques. Although telling HVs what they want to hear might qualify as one of those techniques

Maybe tweaking your daytime feeds might help - how often does she feed during the day?

Might be worth trying to encourage her to feed more frequently during the day (2-3 hourly) so that she gets used to having her main 'meals' in the day time.

Also 4 months is classic growth spurt time, so she might just genuinely be hungrier than usual. If you think this is what it is, just feed feed feed and it will pass (eventually!) As others have said, trust your instincts about whether it's hunger or comfort she wants.

OP, my DS2 is the same - he was only waking once in the night for a feed from about 6-12 weeks (I thought it was great) and since 12 weeks - bang - much less predictable, sometimes every 2 hours, sometimes less, but rarely the one feed. I haven't seen a HV or even had him weighed, he seems like a good, healthy boy now at 16 weeks though. I am struggling a bit with the lack of sleep another DS, but am expecting things to improve around 6 months? Like you, I don't know anyone currently bfing, everyone is ff, although my friend switched to ff around this time a few months ago and it made no difference (just that her DH could help!). I wonder whether I should shush him more, but he does seem hungry. I also toy with the idea of a dream feed, but tbh I am knackered and in bed by 9pm (admittedly wld not be if I had more sleep, but the thought of experimenting when I am so tired is not appealing).

I also wonder if it would be better if he was in his own room so I could leave him a little longer when grizzling. But then that's another hassle and I am not sure I like the thought really. He went 7pm-5am last week one night - it is such a lottery! Good luck - if you do anything that works, let me know!

Oh camperfan - totally in the same boat! This feels ike bad nighttime feeding to me because just before christmas she dropped to one feed a night (although she wasn't going to sleep until 10 or 11 then)...

I am going to ignore HV and not try to cut night feeds at all until she is properly weaning and eating a bit of solids 3 times a day, I guess at about 7 months... This is largely because my mother (who is my total childcare guru! - she bf all four of us until we were 2, a miracle in the '70s and '80s, and now is a LLL counsellor) assures me that we all started waking only once in the nightby ourselves, with mno withholding or sleep training once we were established on solids (she started us on solids at 20 weeks with a combo of purees and finger foods, so that is what I plan to do as DD seems nearly ready). She says none of us slept ALL night (we needed one nighttome bf) until she fully weaned us at 2! Plus, as my mother rightly said to me last night... "She is a baby. So maybe she does want a bit of comfort in the night from her mummy. So what!? That's normal really. She won't be a baby for long!"

Also been put off HV slightly as yesterday she hgave me 2 leaflets - one re sleeping advocating controlled crying as the technique and one on weaning saying that from six months, babies should be given one meal of pureed fruit/veg or baby rice mixed with [quote] "breast or formula milk or CUSTARD/plain yoghurt". Custard!???! Errr.....

My sleeping plan for tonight is to have a large !!!

On a more serious note, DD does seem to feed pretty often in the day, so I don't think that's the problem - she feeds every 2 or 3 hours, unless we are out when she has just started to be too distracted to feed and sometimes therefore goes longer. I am trying to limit being out at feeding times to combat this though.

My problem is also getting her to nap though... now she's older she no longer falls asleep on the boob and is a VERY reluctant napper!!! just put her in the sling for the 3rd time this morning and she has FINALLY gone down for her morning nap, but in the sling of course... is it me or was the newborn satge a complete doddle compared to this!!?

Legally, that's great that you have your mum for support. My mum seems to have forgotten everything and makes me and my brother sound like dream babies, sleeping through the night from birth, potty trained at 6 weeks... Well, not quite, but you get my drift!

We had a good night last night; he slept from 7pm to a blissful 4.30am and then back to sleep til 7am! you can imagine what my boobs were like at 4.30am after all this night feeding!

I think the only difference was that he managed to stay awake until 7pm, with a careful juggling of naps. I think I am going to make a real effort this week to get the naps right.