The end of BFing- mixed emotions. Warning- ramble!

[WillbeanChariot]

DS is almost 18 months and I think we are going to stop BFing shortly. I have got to this stage before but always decided to carry on.

DS was extremely premature and I expressed for him and worked really hard to establish BFing, we came home BFing and expressing. He's weaned now of course and has a range of food and a bottle of cow's milk at night. I'm still feeding him first thing in the morning and at bedtime.

But he is less and less bothered about BFing, and if I don't offer he doesn't look for it. If I am not there to feed for whatever reason he doesn't mind, even if I am around and don't feed for any reason it doesn't bother him, but he does love his bedtime bottle. We are TTC #2 and I know I could conceive BFing, but it can't be helping I think. I'm also not sure how much he gets, on the odd occasion I go away and miss a couple of feeds I don't get engorged.

On the other hand, he is still quite prone to illness and the antibodies he gets must help. Also, we will be flying long haul in a couple of months and I wonder if it would help to be able to BF on the plane.

I'm surprised at how sad I feel about giving up. I think DS will barely notice when I stop but it feels like the end of an era. How do you know if it's the right time? What have others done? In a lot of ways it feels right to stop because he seems to be making the choice himself almost.

Sorry, I did say it was a ramble! Thanks for reading if you have got this far.

I felt really sad when both DDs stopped. It just came to a natural end when they didn't ask for it any more.

Because it fizzled out gradually there wasn't one feed which I knew would be the last and that was probably a good thing. PI'd probably have sat and sobbed with DD2!

I think it's one of the first occasions when we begin to let go of our DCs and accept that they are growing up from the moment they are born.

You'll still get lots of lovely cuddles!

DD (11.5 months) had one boob and 75ml cow's milk in a cup instead of the usual 2 boobs yesterday afternoon, and I nearly cried at how quickly she's growing up and how she won't need me soon.... (not true, I know, but still )

So I'm not much help, but can offer sympathy!

I do think it is the right time as he isn't fussed and will cope fine, but it just feels like he's already relying on me less even at a small and immature 18 months. Just the first step away from mummy I suppose. God what will I be like when he goes to school??

Thank you for your replies. I knew I'd find some understanding on here

I know how you are feeling. I stopped feeding dd (13 months) about two weeks ago. I knew it was the right thing but boy did I feel sad. The thing is, how do you manage the last feed? How do you not weep afterwards. (DD solved this a bit for me by giving me a huge bite which kind of put me off but still...)

I feel for you.

Thanks BlameIt. I am worried about the last feed, DS will be 18 months on Monday so am thinking about then, but I know I will weep. DH is great but he doesn't really get it. I thought I would be really happy to get my body back but it's actually no hardship doing one or two feeds a day.

Is it getting better BlameIt?

It really is. Although I went through what I assume was a hormonal dip a few days after giving up. I do still look at her and think how much I loved feeding her and I miss it. But taking it in the round I know it was the right thing for us (my unpredictable work schedule coupled with her habit of biting....)

I think I found it particularly tough because I couldn't feed DC1 so to get to 13 months with DC2 is a really big deal and also this is my last DC so I knew it was my last feed ever.

But all that said, I do also appreciate having my body back - and DH loves giving her a bottle in the evening too. It's nice to see them start to carve out some time for themselves in the evening.

YOu will be fine. The worst moment is as you finish that last feed so make sure you have something to do immediately afterwards.

Thanks that is good to hear. Even when he's been ill recently he hasn't really wanted to feed so I've no worries that he will miss out. And usually DH does bath and I do bedtime, this way we'll be able to swap around.

I expect in a couple of months I will wonder what I was so worried about. Thank you for replying BlameIt.