Feeling I had enough and would like to stop breastfeeding but don't know how. HELP!!!

[Mareta]

DD is 18.5 months old and for the last 3 weeks I feel like I have had enough of breastfeeding. When I started breastfeeding I've never thought I would last so long and to be honest I never set myself a date to stop. I have been doing it very happy till the last 3 weks when suddenly I have this feeling that I need to take control of my body. My breasts are MINE!!! Am I being a terrible mother?

So here I am trying to know what to do. DD still has 4 full feed every day and a few confort feeds which I am trying to stop and sometimes works and other times she won't stop untill she gets it.

I am also looking for jobs at the moment and ideally I would like to stop all the feeds during the day before I go back to work (whenever that is).

She feeds when she wakes up, after lunch before I put her in bed, before going to bed at night and another during the night at around 4am. At the moment I have been trying don't offer don't refuse but she will always ask so I don't think it is working.

When I have trid to put her in bed in the afternoon for a nap without offering her the breast she has always screamed for it and ask me to breastfeed her. To be honest I don't think she can be hungry as she has plenty of food for lunch plus her dessert and I would have thought that is more than enough to make her feel full.

I don't want to make a big deal out of this as we have also started with the famous tantrums so in a way I would like to stop breastfeeding without me telling her NO if this is possible. How should I encourage her to stop breastfeeding? Am I making sense ?

Any help/ideas more than welcome and thank you in advance

Tricky.... offer cow's milk from a bottle or cup?

Bless her, though. She's still little...

right first off you are not a terrible mother...breastfeeding at all is a big achievement so well done.

I weaned DS1 at the same age for similar reasons. I wanted my body back and felt he only wanted to spend time with me if having boob ( wouldnt give me a cuddle or look at a book or play)
wear a bra and keep boobs well covered. If today is the day you stop feeding through the day then just stop :). over next week or so plan naps in car or buggy so not going to sleep on boob. if you want to give her a bottle with cows milk. if she asks for booby tell her she can have some at bedtime ( if thats what you want). she may get upset but sometimes for the sake of your own sanity you have to be the boss.

I'm sure others will disagree but at this age a bit of distraction can work really well so I wouldnt beat myself up about saying no

Thanks both of you.

TRYHARDER: she wpn't drink cows milk at all I don't know why because she has it very well with her cereals in the morning but not in a cup.

STREPTOCOCCUS: as mention before she won't drink any cows milk at all from a cup. I had thought of giving her some cows milk with a bit of honey to make it sweeter as this may b the problem. Breastmilk is sweeter than cows milk. However I am not sure if I want to introduce a bottle as she has not had any at all in her whole life . About distraction my DD has a very strong mind which I love but it makes it very difficult to change her mind once she has got an idea .

I guess at the end of the day I will have to work harder with her and maybe starts just with the little comfort sucking and then move from there.

Thank you both of you again

I had e friend whose daughter was the same, she went away for a long weekend. By the time she got back it was all sorted by her partner. His turn i guess.

My daughter also refused cows milk until 10 months everytime i gave it to her she threw up. Had her tested for allergies etc... turns out it was her own little protest.

There is an article about exactly this in today's Times. Can you get hold of a copy perhaps or if not, contact me and I'll scan it and e mail it to you.

I wouldn't worry about her not taking milk in a cup, if she has plenty on her cereal plus other calcium rich like yoghurts and cheese then not having milk as a drink is fine. DS will drink it but I hardly ever offer him any TBH

And you have done a fab job to feed so long feel free to stop if you have had enough

Would love to help with the weaning but not got DS to stop yet either and I am ready anytime. (I thought he stopped a few weeks ago but it was a false alarm)

I always thought that she would stop at some point but at the moment I cannot see it happening anytime soon and I really feel I need to do something about it.

I am not sure if to stop completly would suit us and really believe it should be something she needs to decide on doing that's why I would like to know if there is a why to help her to selfwean. I still love breastfeeding her but I need to start thinking of when I will be returning to work.

Thank you all for your comments, they are much appreciated.

MCKENZIE: once DP comes back from work I am going straight to buy the newspaper and see what they say.

as she is 18.5 months old i guess you could try adding strawberry milkshake powder to the milk!?!

If you love still bfing but aren't loving the demands of bfing a toddler have you thought about introducing nursing manners as an alternative to weaning? OF course if you really don't want to bf any more then don't and I wouldn't have posted this but for your comment of still loving bfing.

Basically it's placing limits on behaviours that you don't like or that annoy you whilst still bfing when you want to.

Bfing is a relationship and like any relationship there has to be give and take. Once baby is past about 12m you can really work on making bfing work for YOU the adult rather than just doing cue feeding as and when DC wants it. When they are tiny we feed them when they need it even if it's not what we want because they are too tiny to understand why we want to delay/skip that feed. When they are older you can negotiate rules that work for you both and times to feed that work for you too.

I have the following rules:- no nipple twiddling, no bfing on the loo or when I say 'not now but later', if I say 'not now but later' I will offer when it's convenient again so they know it's not a tactic to not bf (I even go so far to remind them they had previously asked for it but don't insist on it ), and when I say no I mean no (though I'm just starting to introduce that to DD3).

Some people have rules like 'only when mummy is sitting in XX chair', 'only before bedtime', 'not in front of company' or 'only if you ask nicely'. Lots of different things work for different families so it's finding your rules for your situation.

On the whole though I'm still cue feeding DD2 (3.2y/o and feeding 10-20secs each side every other day or so) and DD3 16m and feeding up to 6 times a day (with at least once over night) but having these boundaries makes everyone happier I feel. Doesn't stop DD3 having a good honk of anyone's boobs who is unfortunate enough to pick her up . I really wish it would....