How can I make middle of the night feed shorter for 8wo?

[Wildpoppy]

I've posted on this before but just in case anyone with good advie missed it but sees this.

My 8wo dd is mix fed - in the day she mostly breastfeeds, at night she has some bottles. She is mix fed because the pediatricians said we should because of feeding problems at birth and weight loss issues. Anyway we are reconciled to her not being exclusively breastfed now.

She tends to sleep downstairs from about 9pm (she has witching hours from 6pm - 9pm and just will not sleep) and then comes upstairs with us about 11pm and goes in her moses basket. She usually wakes about midnight and has a feed - sometimes just breast, sometimes breast and bottle - we are led by her on this one. Then she wakes around 4pm ish and this feed is the problem - nearly always takes about 2 hours. To start with I thought this was because I breastfed her and she didn;t get enough and then I had to do the bottle and by the time I had done both and winded her and changed her nappy if sodden (usually is) and settled her it has been two hours. Then I tried just bottle feeding her and it still takes the same amount of time as she won;t settle and has to be comforted several times. It is as if she is programmed to be up for two hours at that time.

I have also tried giving her more at the midnight feed but that doesn;t seem to make a difference.

Any ideas?

No advice as such other than to say as she is only 8wo her routine will no doubt change again shortly and any effort you put into trying to get her to change it will just be stressful, I'd try your best just to go with it for now.

Sorry, didn't mean that post to sound so miserable. But sometimes you can make life easier for yourself by just accepting these things for now rather than trying to change them.

Maybe bring her into bed with you and feed lying down, then you can doze during those 2 hours.

thank tittybojangles - good plan

am scared of that moonunitalpha as I am klutz and will fall asleep and squash her

No good advice but she could be on a growth spurt? As she is only 8 weeks it definitely won't last forever. Good luck & hope you get more sleep soon.

Unless you are taking drugs/medication that make you particularly drowsy or have been drinking, co-sleeping can be done safely. In my experience you have a sense of where the baby is in the bed even when you're asleep, and I always stayed in the same position.

There's a leaflet from Unicef/FSID that you might find useful here

There is also good safety advice for co-sleeping in 'the no cry sleep solution'. I think Elizabeth Pantlet also has that checklist in an online article somewhere.

FWIW top-ups shouldn't need to be ongoing. My DD had top-ups but is now ebf which is so much simpler!

Squashing your baby is almost unheard of with an EBF baby. Not sure about mixed feeding but if you're BFing overnight you will be aware of her. Follow the guidelines though that MUA linked to, and make sure she can't roll out of the bed either. It can make night feeds soooo much easier as once you get the hang of it you can just latch on and go back to sleep. This is how it's always been done and humans are designed to sleep like this, so don't worry about being a klutz

It's not for everyone, of course, and I was dead against it myself until I tried it out of desperation and haven't looked back.

thanks all but am def not going to co sleep but any advice other than this much appreciated.

My seven week old also had a two-hour awake spell in the middle of the night until four days ago. Making sure she had a long lunchtime nap appears to have solved thw problem. Perhaps too much or too little daytime sleep is causing your waking as well?

thanks ilovemountains. She tends to sleep for 2 and a half to 3 hours from 11am and then again on and off in the afternoon but never between 6pm-10pm (her witching hours!)

I see you're already getting a good nap! Your days sound very similar to ours, sorry I haven't got any more suggestions

In that case I'd nap during the day when she does!

OP, during this 2 hours, what's she doing? Is she awake and wanting to play? Is she crying? Pulling up her feet like she's gassy? Snoozing but not settling? Relaxed and calm but gently awake?

For how long is she actually eating?

You say it takes two hours to feed, wind, change and settle her but it would be useful to know how these 4 things are broken down within this 2 hours, time-wise.

How long are her feeds otherwise, typically? I mean, is she a 10 minute or 1/2 hour sort of girl?

I understand you have said definately no to co-sleeping, and I understand that, but just so I understand YOUR reasons (so can make other suggestions) what do you have against co-sleeping? Is it only that you're worried about squashing her, or are there other reasons?

Hmm what does she do. She has a breastfeed (during which I sometimes drop off by mistake - ooops). Then she has a wind. I try to put her down. She grizzles. Then I give her more breast milk. Then she grizzles so I change nappy. Then I remember to wind her. Then she sleeps for about two mins and wakes again hingry. Then I give bottle. Then I wind. Then I settle.Or some variant thereof.

re my reasons not to co-sleep. Just wouldn't work for me. We are both fat heffalumps (me and dh - not the baby) in a smallish double. We have a duvet each and roll about a lot so covers all over the place. My dh is very heavy sleeper whereas I am just heavy and a sleeper (haha) and also there is a gap between bed and headboard that we often lose pillos down so could conceivably lose the baby down. Plus for me I think the marital bed should stay the marital bed - we don;t get enough couple time as it is so rolling over for a cuddle without first checking we won;t squash the baby seems vital to our sanity.

Does she definitely need to be winded or have her nappy changed? I didn't do either at night.

Nappy yes. It's always sodden and the times I haven't it's totally leaked by morning.

Winding not sure. I sometimes don't but she lays in bed burping and I feel awful.

Please don't worry too much about it. As other people have said, she is only 8 weeks old. Roll with it, try and manage it so you catch up with your sleep whenever you can (or even just rest, resting is almost as good as sleeping) and reassure yourself that it will definitely not be this way for long.

The good news is that almost certainly one night she will have a quick feed, straight back to sleep, and you will congratulate yourself on having 'fixed' the problem.

The bad news is that probably the very next day there will be some other totally uncontrollable and antisocial type of behaviour for you to worry about... biting, or constipation, or colic, or pulling handfuls of hair out...

You will be fine. She will be fine. You don't need to try and make massive changes, just to get used to the fact that you can't control these things. It takes a while but eventually it will happen!

Oh grumpla I think I love you. That is just the kind of advice i need. X x x x x

:)