Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Flip

Original poster

Could someone point me in the right direction to get evidence to show DH

25 replies

runnermum2 · 12/02/2011 18:45

At the moment I am having terrible frequent night feeds (hourly) which I think is normal for a 4mth old baby. During the day DD feeds about 4 -5 hrly and seems v settled at this. DH has the opinion that the way to make her sleep better at night is to space her feeds further apart during the day so she gets used to feeding less frequently. He reckons that we're making no progress as she feeds 4 times per day but I reckon this is about normal for a BF baby and we can't expect her to feed less freq until after weaning. I just can't see that feeding less in the day will make her feed less at night but DH will not see this hence I could do with some evidence to show him. Please help!

OP posts:

EauRouge · 12/02/2011 18:57

How would eating less during the day make her less hungry at night? It's common sense to get more calories in her during the day. Your DH must be sleep deprived

But if he wants to read up about it then Kellymom has some good advice.

LibraPoppyGirl · 12/02/2011 19:01

runnermum2 I'm going to BF my babbie when the time comes (I'm 24wks pg). My first child I wasn't able to BF which I was really upset about for a long time.

I was on another thread about BF and one of the MNetters recommended the same webiste as EauRouge and posted a link.

I've had a quick look and found it to be really good. As I'm going to be new to BF I'm going to need all the help I can get, I think.

So thanks to EauRouge for posting the site on this thread too. Things like this really do help other Mums

Original poster

runnermum2 · 12/02/2011 19:07

Thanks. Will try and drum some sense gently point DH in the right direction

OP posts:

PenguinArmy · 12/02/2011 19:11

Ask him how often he feeds and drinks in a day.

4 feeds in the day is what I'd consider to be the minimum amount, about 8 feeds a day is normal. You're right less feeds in the day will lead to more night waking, see reverse cycling. In fact this is probably what's happening so def. look this up and feed DD more in the day.

Feeds in the day are more normally 3 hourly and if babies are going longer people often feed before hand to help with the night.

If she feeds more in the day, then DH can help by alternating feeding/settling i.e. first hour DH resettles second hour you feed. Hourly nights are less common, 2 hourly more so, but still far from ideal. My DD fed two hourly, but that was the clock around so she didn't feed less in the day.

TettyLouBar · 12/02/2011 19:15

Wow, 4 feeds a day! Thats great! My DD1 fed about 8 times a day at that point!

MrsJamin · 12/02/2011 19:18

I'd agree with PenguinArmy that 4 feeds per day doesn't seem like much at all, I'd feed more in the day if anything needs changing!

Seona1973 · 12/02/2011 19:19

I would feed more often during the day as the less calories she gets in the day, the more she will want in the night. Is your lo hungry at every feed in the night or is she using you to get back to sleep i.e. is she sucking for comfort rather than hunger?

bebemooneedsabreak · 12/02/2011 19:22

I'd say try to increase the feeds during the day so that you might be able to have less feeds at night. Starting at abt 4m I started feeding dd every 2hrs from abt 5pm to 11pm -we called it the 'stuff her till she bursts'- (in the hopes of getting 5ish hours from 12 to 5 -my blackout time when I found feeding the most difficult) Slowly the sleep interim got longer and by 6m we were 10pm until 5 or 6am.
Granted it won't work for every child, but it may work for you/appease your husband.
Second the Kelly site for good information also LaLeche is also helpful.

Original poster

runnermum2 · 12/02/2011 19:30

She feeds roughly hourly but may go 2 hrs at times and other times may feed for only 5 minutes but 3 times in an hour (I think this is comfort sucking) whereas the 2 hrly feeds are usually 20 mins or so and feel more like proper feeds

OP posts:

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/02/2011 19:39

She needs to feed more during the day, not less I would say.

It is difficult at this age, because they are big enough to take an interest in what's going on and get easily distracted during daytime feeds. I used to take DS up to my bedroom and feed him there to try and keep things boring so that he would get a good feed. Obviously not possible when you are out and about, and i'm not suggesting that you should become hermits, but you need to think of a way to get more milk into her during the day and before she goes to bed.

MoonUnitAlpha · 12/02/2011 19:45

Sounds like she has day and night the wrong way round to me! You want 1-2 hourly feeds during the day and 4-5 hourly at night surely?

I'd be offering a feed every 2 hours in the day.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 12/02/2011 19:51

I agree with MoonUnit....if you can encourage her to get her calories in during thr day then she'll have more of her quota to see her through the night.

tinierclanger · 12/02/2011 19:56

That sounds like very widely spaced feeds to me in the day. DS never went more than 3 hours unless asleep until he was weaned and I think that's more common for breastfed babies.

moonstorm · 12/02/2011 20:29

Look my baby only feeds every 4-5 hours in the day and at longer at night.

However, he likes to have a little drink of milk every couple of hours inbetween

Original poster

runnermum2 · 12/02/2011 20:35

When you say 8 feeds a day is more normal do you mean 8 feeds in 24 hrs or 8 during awake times? I'd not heard of reverse cycling but it does sound like what's happening. I currently feed when she asks but its generally somewhere around 8am, 12 pm, 3pm, 6pm, bed at 8pm (no feed cos I dont want that to be associated with sleep), dream feed at 11. But then she was feeding 4am as I say the last week its all gone to pot from 12 - 8. So would you offer feeds when shes not demanding during the day and see if she'll take it?

OP posts:

Tupperwarewolf · 12/02/2011 20:53

This sounds like the four month sleep regression to me - my DC started waking every 45 minutes for weeks at four months

If it is the four month thing (google it and you'll find lots of info) then it probably isn't hunger that's waking her up, it's more of a developmental issue, but for me bfing was the quickest way of getting DC back to sleep so started co-sleeping full time then so could just latch on when they woke up.

Kellymom suggests more feeds during the day will help here

MoonUnitAlpha · 12/02/2011 20:55

Yes, I would offer at least every 2 hours in the day. If you know she's getting plenty in the day your DH could help space feeds in the night by soothing her if she wakes more often than 4 hourly.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 12/02/2011 21:02

Well I would do a feed at bedtime, otherwise no wonder she is waking and wanting a feed if she's only had a feed a 6pm and then nothing.

Original poster

runnermum2 · 12/02/2011 21:46

I do give a dream feed at 10 (and she sleeps from 8pm till 12 or 1 really well)

OP posts:

PenguinArmy · 12/02/2011 21:57

oh, if it's only been in the last week then it's probably a blip and more related to 4 month growth spurt. If you choose to feed her back to sleep as the easiest way then that's up to you. 8 is normally in 24 hrs with as many as possible in the day. More feeds in the morning could help as there's a gap there, so room for a feed at 10am.

I think it's a bit odd to not feed to sleep, but then feed at every whimper in the night personally, but understandable how that arose so you could feed at 8pm as well then you could tackle other settling methods for night time wakings.

The timings in your post don't sound as spaced out you originally posted.

PenguinArmy · 12/02/2011 22:00

also I just wanted to stress that this is all our opinion. There isn't a right or wrong thing in this situation, just what works for you. At least you know DH's opinion had no basis in logic

MoonUnitAlpha · 12/02/2011 22:06

I think I would probably try to add another feed at 10am, and a bedtime feed - then she might get through the night with the 11pm dreamfeed and maybe another at 3-4am. See if your DH can settle her in the night without feeding.

Original poster

runnermum2 · 12/02/2011 22:16

Thanks for your help all. Will try and squeeze in an extra feed. I do see your point about not feeding to sleep at bedtime and then doing it over night. Hmmm cant see the logic in that myself now. I think I was telling myself then that anyone could put her to bed if I was to go out in the evening. And she does settle really well at bedtime. I guess you can't have it all. One more thought (things run through your head all night!!) - Do you think sleeping in our room somehow disturbs her? It's just that she sleeps great until I go to bed and then within one hour the waking starts. I wondered if she could smell milk or something???

OP posts:

Tupperwarewolf · 12/02/2011 22:20

OP, I have often wondered the same - my DC sleeps beautifully for five hours, until DH and I go to bed, and then the waking starts! Ime though, I have now moved to the spare room to see if that helps, and six months or so on she still wakes (briefly) several times a night. DC definitely knows when I'm in the bed though!

moflee57 · 13/02/2011 09:44

hourly feed during the night is def 4 month sleep regression stuff but i'd agree with other posters that 4-5 hour spaced feeds during the day is very little. I found that when my LO was going through 4 mth sleep regression and feeding hourly at night then actually increasing daytime feeds helped. I upped his 2.5 hr spaced feeds to 2 hourly and immediately noticed the difference in that i at least got some evening time back.
I read somewhere the the first 5 hours of baby sleep are the heaviest as they spend more time in deep sleep then...can't remember where...will rack my brains and get back to you

Flip