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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

SIL tells me to stop BF 11mo DD as there are no benefits after 6mths

44 replies

arabellaandbaby · 11/02/2011 22:25

I have always heard that it's good to BF up to 2yo if possible. So why has my SIL said I should have stopped BFing my 11mo DD months ago? She says there is absolutely no benefit in continuing to give breastmilk when you can give iron-enriched formula once the baby reaches 6mo or cow's milk when 12mo. I returned to work full time in November when DD was 8/9mo, and, despite time contraints, I have been making a real conscious effort to deliberately hand express during the working day (9am - 5pm) in order to maintain my milk supply. Has this been completely pointless then?

OP posts:

PenguinArmy · 13/02/2011 08:48

I just wanted to say that I don't express during the day at work at 11 months now (well since 10 months) and I have no problems at weekends and nights. At this stage your supply should be sturdy stuff.

reallytired · 13/02/2011 12:43

My dd has self weaned at 21 months, otherwise I would be still feeding her.

My SIL is exactly the same. I found the broken record approach works. I don't even argue with her. I just said "You have the right to your opinon and I have the right to mine. I think we are best to agree to disagree."

aPixie · 13/02/2011 14:48

Was your SIL my first HV?

This is what she told me with ds1 and stupid me actually believed her. I started giving formula at 6months. It wasn't until he was 9months that I found mumsnet and realised that actually she was talking bollox. I cried my eye's out for day's when I found out I could have kept BF him and still be giving him every thing he needed.

I know have ds2 and now know different (thanks mumsnet) so plan on feeding him as long as possible. Still get upset when I think about stopping BF with ds1 though and he's 22months.

You've done great to keep up with BF even at work so don't let your SIL tell you different.

organiccarrotcake · 13/02/2011 16:49

Iron enriched formula contains a form of iron (it's in compound) that is difficult to extract within the body. That "big cup" advert has a lot to answer for. Breastmilk has less iron in than formula, but, it's more readily accessible than formula's iron, so your baby gets just what they need.

You're actively supporting your baby's immune system from whatever they come across right now, as your BM is packed with the antibodies you are making for yourself.

Forget iron - all the other nutrients your baby needs are still there in the BM. So when she's going through a tummy upset or just doesn't eat much for a day or so, she's still getting exactly what she needs.

We're designed to drink human milk - that's the norm. Anything else is odd.

I read recently about a mum who expressed milk into her dog's food bowl. Seems really weird and wrong, until you realise that we consume other species' milk all the time.

A human child's immune system doesn't mature until age 6 YEARS. We mums are designed to support our children's immune system for a lot longer than 6 MONTHS.

organiccarrotcake · 13/02/2011 19:25

this website is a useful source of info about breastfeeding length and its benefits.

Original poster

arabellaandbaby · 14/02/2011 14:20

Again, useful information from all you gals here! Thanks so much. It's very encouraging to see all these posts supporting BF beyond the minimum 6mths.

penguinarmy - it's interesting you're not expressing whilst at work and still have plenty of milk in the evenings and at the weekend. Others may do likewise.

But personally, I've never been daring enough to stop expressing during the working day in case my supply reduces to zero! Plus I feel that I am full of milk, not engorged, just quite full. I fear not having any milk after a couple of days of not expressing during the day. That would be a nightmare for me and more so for DD who loves her feeds, especially at bedtime.

penguinarmy and others, what do you recommend I do? Should I continue to express at work? It can be very inconvenient at times!

Thanks all.

Love A x

OP posts:

SlightlyTubbyHali · 14/02/2011 14:28

What a strange view your SIL has.

Even if formula and breastmilk were identical, there would still be benefits of breastfeeding for any length of time. It's free, it's free-of-faff, it's extra easy if you are travelling by plane, it gives you protection against breast cancer, it allows you to eat cake with abandon, it's lovely.

You don't stop doing something natural just because there's a synthetic alternative, do you? Not unless you are unhappy/not enjoying it and looking for an alternative, I think.

blackteaplease · 14/02/2011 18:13

Arabellaandbaby I work 3 days a week and don't express when I am at work, it has had no effect on my supply (6 weeks so far). I posted on here to ask about it and it seems that a few others do it too. I still do a morning and night feed on work days and then 2 other feeds during the day on non-work days.

I was really paranoid about leaking though, and wear pads to work. I also start to feel quite full from about 2pm, but haven't had any problems with mastitis/ blocked ducts.

Tabitha8 · 14/02/2011 18:37

I get these comments all the time as well. DS is 21 mths. He likes his milky and I like to feed him. Some people, though, just cannot be convinced no matter what info you give them. I've been told feeding him is yuk and disgusting as well as pointless as there is now nothing good in my milk. Hey ho. It's a bit like arguing politics, isn't it?
I wish I could think of a witty response.

organiccarrotcake · 14/02/2011 19:27

"His mummy's milk is better than milk from just any old cow"...

(Lactivist's quote)

ThePosieParker · 14/02/2011 19:29

Health benefits, which are disputable, aside if you enjoy it and your dc enjoys it and you feel you are closer because of it just do it!!

ThePosieParker · 14/02/2011 19:31

When your SIL talks about no benefit tell her that's how you feel about her advice, no benefit whatsoever.

ShowOfHands · 14/02/2011 19:36

Start randomly commenting on her diet. There's no benefits to that biscuit you know SIL. And really while we're on other people's breasts, I don't like your bra much. Shouldn't you be in a girdle by now, much more beneficial than what you're wearing, etc.

Taste of own medicine.

organiccarrotcake · 14/02/2011 19:52

posie do you mean that the health benefits are disputable of BFing older babies? Because they're not .

PenguinArmy · 14/02/2011 20:50

organic, I believe that is the answer to how she should respond to the unsolicited advice and what she feels about said advice, not a comment about the content.

That probably don't make sense.

My DH responds to all the old ladies comments with 'Thank you for your unsolicited advice'

ThePosieParker · 15/02/2011 06:40

Organic....the health benefits are disputable especially when weighed against everything else. BF an older child, considering the time and effort, has teeny health benefits and certainly not a reason to keep doing so if there are massive social or other side affects.....eg. If a mother was embarrassed about feeding an older toddler then the benefits to that child are not enough to put a mother through that. However I still think it's a mother's choice, although in our society it's still frowned upon and I think you have to be very committed to carry on past a year.

organiccarrotcake · 15/02/2011 08:09

posie, the health benefits are not at all disputable. However, the (significant) benefits have to be balanced with the individual mother's personal situation - there I of course agree with you - but that's the same at all stages of breastfeeding (and, of course, parenting).

The health benefits are that as breastfeeding reduces and is replaced by solids the antibodies in mother's milk become more concentrated. A child's immune system doesn't mature until around age 6, so this continued support for the immune system is extremely valuable.

Furthermore, there are many other benefits to breastfeeding an older baby/toddler/child, such as it being an excellent way to connect with your child after a day without them, to soothe them if they're upset, and to help them get to sleep easily.

For children who are allergic or intolerant to other species' milk, it's also a logical way of "getting milk into them".

If a mother doesn't want to, or is embarassed, then of cours she doesn't "have" to! Society is more tolerant of it than you would expect, though. Once term or extended breastfeeding is discussed, one often finds that ExBFers "come out of the closet". Sure, they're maybe not "doing it" in public, but they are very often "doing it" at home, at night, morning and evenings...

It's a personal thing and everyone has their choice and should be supported in it, but to downplay the benefits is inaccurate.

PenguinArmy · 15/02/2011 09:05

OK so I was wrong about her intentions (trying to see the good is each situation)

It's a shame that she seems to find the social problems so difficult

organiccarrotcake · 15/02/2011 20:40

I'm not sure I totally agree, penguin, that she meant anything "wrong". posie's post is interesting (if you'll excuse me talking about you here, posie!!). I honestly think that she just doesn't know much about term breastfeeding (which is why MN is great for coming across things that you may not IRL, as they're often done at home where you just don't see it).

"BF an older child, considering the time and effort..."

I remember when DS1 was going to nursery and really needed breakfast before he went. What a bloody hassle that was, versus a 5 minute BF. Older children take a full feed in just a few minutes - no time at all - and there's no effort as they know exactly how to BF, unlike a newborn.

"...has teeny health benefits"

As I've said, no factually correct. In fact, there's loads of health benefits.

"...and certainly not a reason to keep doing so if there are massive social or other side affects.....eg. If a mother was embarrassed about feeding an older toddler then the benefits to that child are not enough to put a mother through that."

No one is putting a mother through anything! It's her own choice! If she's not happy with it, then she shouldn't do it!

"...in our society it's still frowned upon and I think you have to be very committed to carry on past a year."

No, some people frown upon it and some people think it's wonderful. Other people don't care either way. Many people BF toddlers but only at home so other people don't see it - therefore think it doesn't happen. There's nothing "committed" about it. If it works for you both, it's wonderful, healthy, snuggly, cuddly and soooo special. IF you feel like that, it's fabulous!

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