Tips for weaning an 18mo

[iismum]

My ds is nearly 18 months and loves breastfeeding. I had planned to stop demand feeding at 12 months, just feeding in bed at night and in the morning, but he strenuously resisted this and I didn't mind continuing. But I don't want to do this indefinitely - I want him too be weaned by 2 at least.

He often spends the day without me (I work half-time) so is used to not feeding. When he is with me, he sometimes wants to feed a lot, sometimes not much, depending on mood, but always gets very cross if he asks and doesn't receive immediately.

So ... are there any alternatives to cold turkey and days of tantrums? I'd really like to make it easy on him, but have no idea how. He doesn't like bottles or non-breast milk, so substitutes may not help.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

I have a similar problem. DD is 17 months old and feeding more than ever. I keep thinking 'I'll just do it until these teeth are through' - She is just cutting our canines now and then I have to quit the BF. She sleeps on the boob from midnight onwards. I'm desperate for a good nights sleep.

Sorry I have nothing constructive to add. Just wanted to sympathise.

I wait to hear any suggestions.

Hi there... no one got any suggestions?

I am resigned to feeding her til the teeth are all here.

Have you had any thoughts?

There will be no incremental dropping of feeds as there are all over the place, totally willy nilly.

I think I'll have to identify a period of time - say 9am (after breakfast feed) til 12.30pm (after lunch) and not feed over this time, using distraction. After a week or so extend this period to 4pm, then to bedtime feed.

I'm least looking forward to stopping the night time feeding....

Any ideas?

Oh, the only other thing I know is that the first feed in the morning is the very last one to drop as this feeds is the most nutricious (as you've been fast asleep making grade A milk).

I can't believe Ive done this twice before with my first two daughters and have no recollection...!

Hi Bertsmum, thanks for your message. Looks like no one has any advice! I'm feeling kind of torn as ds loves breastfeeding and I love being able to make him so happy so easily, but on the other hand I don't want to do it forever ... Like you, dropping feeds makes no sense, as some days he doesn't feed at all (when I'm working), some days it seems like it's every half an hour, and always in the most inconvenient places.

I actually dropped night feeding about 6 weeks ago in effort to get him to sleep through the night, and this does seem to have helped (though a bit up and down). He gets fed to sleep and then no milk till the morning - originally 6, now crept back till 5. At first he would scream with rage when I tried to comfort him without feeding him, but quite soon he started sleeping through the night - amazing! He is waking up a bit again but not as much, and after a bit of crossness at not being fed, settled quite well. But this has not affected his eagerness to feed in the day!

Hope it goes well for you, let me know if you have any tips ...

Oh ladies I don't really have much good advice- it was all a bit haphazard for DS and I, but at 18m I stopped feeding him during the daytime- just distracted, went out lots, wore high necked tops, etc! If he got VERY distressed or hurt himself badly I would feed him, but on the whole just tried to fob him off.

It was surprisingly easy but if I relented one day (just out of the shower, say, and feeling indulgent) he would want it the next day at the same time. So for us I had to be consistent.

Night weaning came later and was much more traumatic and I don't recommend anything I did!

Eventually he was just feeding before bed, and I started brushing his teeth AFTER the breastfeed and that made a huge difference to its importance. After that he cut it down time-wise quite rapidly. It was me who stopped it altogether, giving warm cow's milk instead (he loves it, so that was lucky). He accepted it but definitely misses bf, and in lots of ways I wish I hadn't stopped (he's 2). But I'm pregnant and decided not to tandem feed.

Hope that helps in some way, and sorry I don't have any top tips really!

Oh, yes, good point about occasionally relenting. I meant to say that after two weeks of ds sleeping through the night, he was quite ill so I took him in bed with me and fed him on demand, and after that we were right back to square one - in fact we still haven't got back to regular sleeping through the night.

All these accounts spur me on and remind me I'm not alone.
It's always the way that when you start to think about finishing feeding - they get poorly.
I'm listening to DS crying now.
I put her down at 7, after a short protest she's off. Then she's awake crying 2 or 3 times before 12. I go in and feed her and put her back down and after midnight I bring her into bed. This means a quieter night for her and the rest of the house but a broken and uncomfortable night for me.
I always wake feeling like I've been beaten with a big stick all night.

Sound familiar?

I you make any headway drop me a tip. I was considering going to sleep at my mum's for a couple of nights after putting her down. Just seems like a cop out.... If she's going through it, I feel like I shouls too.

hi there
I came on here to sort of post a similar thread - my 11 mo loves the boob and really doesn't seem to love food all that much.... she will take a bottle of formula but i don't want to wean her onto just that IYSWIM?....and i do really believe in the nutritional benefits of bfing after one year...i just, er, didn't think i'd be doing it all the time?!! She's stocky so i don't really think she needs it that much?
i go back to work this week so lord knows what she'll do - my guess is more night feeds....
groan
so big sympathy...and any help/support gratefully received!!

Bertsmum - I feel for you! I can't claim that we've totally got DS's sleep sorted out - it's still not great - but it's really improved now I've stopped feeding him at night. It was a really tough couple of weeks getting through it - DH was great and did many of the nights, which helped a lot - but he's now used to not feeding at nights and sleeps much better. I would recommend giving it a try. Now we just need to sort out mornings - which tend to start around 4.30 at the moment ... grrrr.

MummyElk - I don't think an 11 mo really needs breast milk, although it is definitely beneficial for them - I think it's more to do with just enjoying it, which probably also brings psychological benefits. I think you'll either just have to put up with feeding on demand because she loves it and it's good for her, or be strict about only feeding at certain times of day ... good luck!