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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Feeling lonely - last BFer in the group

12 replies

NovemberAli · 08/02/2011 09:39

DD is 22 weeks and we are still BF, hoping to get to at least a year. I'm the last BFer in our NCT group now as all the others are now FF.

I'm returning to work part time in 4 weeks so trying to get my head round expressing at work and maintaining supply etc but now feel my support network has gone as I don't know anyone else BFing.

Not sure what my question is really but just hoping for some stories of successful transitions back to work with BF and solidarity for continued BFing

OP posts:

TittyBojangles · 08/02/2011 09:54

could you find a bf group/cafe near you?

EauRouge · 08/02/2011 09:56

I had this too when DD turned 1, all my friends had stopped BF. Is there a LLL group near you? I started going to that and it's brilliant, they publish a leaflet all about working and BF that you might find useful.

japhrimel · 08/02/2011 10:03

Well done!

I can see me eventually being the last one bfing in my NCT group too, especially as I work from home anyway.

JoinTheDots · 08/02/2011 12:30

ah, I am the last in our group (and have been since DD was 16 weeks)

LLL are great - I recommend finding your local group if you can.

Well done!

AngelDog · 08/02/2011 14:25

Well done from me too. :)

I'd agree with all of the above. I was also the last BF'er in our NCT group at a pretty similar time. My 13 m.o. DS and I are still going strong with the bf though.

I didn't go back to work till DS was 11 months, and then only one day a week so I only had to express once a day.

Where do you live? You could start a new group if there isn't one already. My town has just started a new 'natural parenting' group for people interested in any aspect of attachment/natural type parenting, including bf. It's just a yahoo e-mail group, but we've had one meet up at someone's house so far. I've never been with so many other bf babies older than 6 months before. :)

mrsgordonfreeman · 08/02/2011 16:28

I was the last in my group too - some didn't even really start - and I felt quite alienated as a result.

Why not try starting your own group? It's certainly something I'm considering.

Original poster

NovemberAli · 08/02/2011 19:43

Thank you for the kind responses, think I am going to try and find a group I can join, it's just nice to be able to discuss things with people who are dealing with the same issues I think.

OP posts:

YankNCock · 08/02/2011 21:35

I am the last holdout in my baby group at 17 months. There was one other that fed past a year but she stopped over 2 months ago and I felt kind of weird about it (started a similar thread to this).

I did managed to keep breastfeeding when I was back at work full time when DS was 8 months. Expressing at work was no picnic, and I usually ate my lunch alone in a little room while doing my best impression of a diary cow. I brought my ipod or used my hands-free kit to talk to DH or friends who didn't mind the pumping noise. I suppose it kind of depends what kind of job you have. Have you written to them about what you'll require as far as expressing? By law they have to have a private lockable room and somewhere to store the milk.

I think mumsnet has been the best source of solidarity for me, reinforcing that I am not even that unusual! Plenty of people are still feeding.

Monkeytoo · 08/02/2011 21:38

I had to go back to work at 20 weeks and was able to continue feeding with regular pumping (still going at nearly two years). It was quite a lot of work but definitely worth it. Let me know if you need any info or have any questions. www.kellymom.com is also a great resource.

TCOB · 08/02/2011 21:44

November - please see thread on expressing at work. I have had some amazing advice and am feeling really positive. Am doing really well at epxressing (10ozs today!) but without MNetters advice think I would have given up last week. Good luck and keep posting - am very happy to hand-hold

browneyesblue · 08/02/2011 22:09

I was with some other mums today and realised I was the last one bf in the room (DS is 10 months).

It felt slightly odd for a moment, and I do get where you're coming from about the loneliness, but I think of the other mums as friends now, and even though they may not be bf anymore I can still talk to them about any issues/share funny stories, and most importantly, they don't have to be bf themselves to still be supportive if I'm finding it difficult.

It's a great idea to join a group, but I suppose I just wanted to say that maybe things also don't have to change that much within the group that you're already a part of. If you found them supportive before, they will hopefully be just as supportive now.

As for returning to work - I work from home, so I haven't exactly had to try to balance work and bf, but as DS has started eating more he has naturally cut back on his feeds. I recently was out of the house for a couple of days and he was happy to have a feed before I left, and another when I got back. I had left milk, but he didn't touch it. So even if you have to have a fair amount of milk ready initially, it may not be that long before he can go for longer periods between feeds :)

Woodlands · 08/02/2011 22:24

How surprising - in my NCT plus others group (about 12 of us) all but two breastfed at least partially and only one of those has stopped altogether now - so 9 of us are still BFing and our babies are 7 months. I can imagine that it must be a bit lonely if you are the last one still BFing. I second the recommendation to try LLL - two of us from my group who are planning to breastfeed longer term go to our local LLL meetings and they are good (if a bit lentil weavery).

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