Does your small baby actually LIKE feeding lying down??

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I'm co-sleeping with DS2, 7 weeks. It is a nightmare. I thought it might be the secret to peaceful nights, or at least more relaxed feeding, remembering the hours spent propped upright with DS1.

It is not. DS2 is not a happy bunny. He has terrible wind and writhes in pain and farts after feeds. He may drop off to sleep on the boob but then five minutes later, just as I'm drifting off, he's awake and furiously in pain. Winding him doesn't make a difference (aside from waking him up good and proper). Really, he wants to sleep upright on a chest, but I'm terrified of dropping him as I fall asleep myself. Also, it's bloody uncomfortable sleeping sitting upright!

And I wonder, as I'm pacing him up and down in a baby carrier at 3am in the living room so as not to disturb DS1 and DH, does he even like sleeping with me and feeding lying on his side? He often seems so pissed off! He shakes his head at my nipple (yes, he may well be 'scanning' for my breast but he is so ANGRY with it) and flails around (with his sharp claws fingernails, ow). He pushes me away if he's fed up and seconds later is groping for me again. Sometimes he glugs away but mostly he's not settled by feeding like this, and I have to sit up anyway and feed him more conventionally. (Have also tried Biological Nurturing - it settled him a bit initially but not now.) His weight gain, nappies, etc are fine, btw.

This afternoon, I left him sleeping restlessly on the bed where I'd been trying to nap with him (propped up safely on his side with a rolled receiving blanket), and had a shower, thinking he'd be roaring in minutes. No - he actually settled into a deeper sleep for about 40 mins. Without me there!

We always presume they want to sleep snuggled alongside us and that any option involving a cot, basket etc, is going to be complained about by the baby, at first in any case. I'm just wondering now - does he actually even want to be in bed with me? Does he want to feed lying down?

(I should point out that I'm also at the end of my tether in terms of sleep deprivation (4 hours a night if I'm lucky) and with walking up and down every night, and with trying to keep 3 yr old DS1 ticking over during the day while juggling an un-put-downable baby. Just to put my crisis of confidence into context...)

I think my DDs wind is worse after feeding lying down so try to limit it. Have you tried a sling and "wearing" your baby down? In the first 2 months, that was the only way aside from feeding that I could get my DD to sleep not actually on me.

Have you tried putting him in a basket or carrycot?

Ds1 hated feeding lying down, ds2 loved it. Go with your gut feeling, nth.

Boy never once consented to feed lying down.

Hi, thanks for replying! I don't put DS into a proper sling when I'm walking him around at night to wear him down, just a Baby Bjorn, because I don't think I could manage to tie my Kari Me at 2am with him screaming. Must try though. He wakes very quickly when you remove him from the BB. Probably the same with the kari me - inevitable really, since he'll have been all warm and hugged and suddenly it all changes when you take him out, even if only for a moment.

So yes, he will sleep on me in a sling, but I need to sleep too! And can't with him in a sling on me, obviously.

Um, I don't try enough to put him down. Sometimes it works, hardly ever though, and mostly he'll be asleep for another 10 mins and then wake angrily.

I think a bedside co-sleeper arrangement might work, if I can have him a bit further off but within arm's reach. maybe...

Hmm, interesting that others find their babies weren't that happy with it. I don't get it - he's still lying on his side to feed when I feed him on his lap!

Might try sitting up for next few nights and feeding like that, see if it helps. Exhausting for me, though...

My DS is now 24 weeks, but he hated feeding lying down and it made his colic much worse. Try and feed him as upright as possible and then rock him. Upright helps reduce wind and the rocking helps with the burping. I also placed my DS in his basket to sleep, but I had a blanket underneath the matress so his upper body was raised, slept like a log.

Hope these help. Take care xx

By "wearing" him down I meant waiting till he's asleep in the sling and then putting him down in the sling and slipping out of it yourself. I think you could only do this with a Babasling (what I use) or ring-sling. Dr Sears suggests this in 'The Baby Book'.

My dd had reflux. I used to feed her and she was nearly upright (but she was also quite a tiny baby). I did used to cave in to lying down feeds when I was shattered, but would pay for it! She sleeps better on her own too, though that's now she's older...

Oh ok, a ring sling. That makes sense! I do have one but never got on with t with DS1. I'll have a go. The only position I can get into with the Baby Bjorn is to lie down on the bed and gradually undo all the clips until I can wriggle it off me, leaving him asleep on my chest! We got an hour and a half that way, last night.

My DS doesn't like feeding lying down all that much - he often loses his latch on the nipple and can seem frustrated. Also winding is a problem. I do it during the night because it's an effective way of getting him to sleep.

We used to cosleep and it suited DS ok but have now moved him into a cosleeper cot which works well for us and means I can get him used to being in his own cot. Also suits me better as I can turn over etc.

I think some babies do like their own space!