Tears and Bonding Issues trying to stop feeding sort of.

[thegauntlet]

Am i really trying to stop feeding? Have been on the boards for TTC whilst BF since we started to wean. 3 months later we are still waiting for AF and struggling.

DD now 8 months, ( 6 teeth and biting!) and I have been away for the night for work.... had talked at DH about it for ages and decided this could be the time to stop ( to substitute 7pm 6am and 3am feeds for formula ( all others already substituted as I am back at work)

But now I am DEVASTATED. spent the whole day mourning it, and fearing that I would be just like anyone else to DD and that she would love Dh and CHildminder more than me now there is nothing 'extra' or 'special' that I have to offer her.

I Caved in. I fed ( I was very sore, very very sore) and now I just dont know what to do.

I am a peer counsellor, and am pro-bf. We just kind of need to concieve in the next 3 months if we are to have another baby in this country before moving to Mozambique. ( related malaria prophylaxis, meningitis issues etc...)

Don't know what to do now. Kind of thinking that I will substitute morning and evening and feed in the night for the time being to allay the engorgement....

Sorry about the ramble

I'm a bit very worried about this too. DD will spend 9 hours in creche and maybe 2-3 with me per day, and I feel that BF is the only thing that makes me different to her.

Hopefully someone will come along and reassure us that we're just silly. DD also 8 months.

You're definitely not the only one!

I have an 8 month old DS and also going through similar; am I stopping or aren't I. Like you i fed after getting really engorged and now don't know what to do for the best!

One thing I do know is that you will never be just like 'anyone else' to you DD she will always love you in a special way as her mummy.

Tricky. But what if you gave up BF and then didn't conceive in the 3 month window you have set yourself? Then you'd end up feeling worse.

I conceived DD when I was breastfeeding DS2 and I'm not one of these massively fertile - get pregnant at the drop of a hat types either.

IIRC, my periods came back when DS2 was 9 month old - I had gone back to work so the number of times he bf during the day had reduced.

Only you can know if the gamble to stop bf in order to ttc is worth it. but your touch, your smell, your voice are all part of the comfort your dd has found at your breast. no one else can provide these either (their touch etc will be different to yours), so you will remain special. when I stopped bf ds1 in order to ttc I felt very much the same. I still did all the bedtime and night feeds, with ds1 snuggled in my arms in just the same way to keep that closeness. he's 3 now and I know I am still special to him. not always more interesting than a fire engine , but still special.