Suddenly dropping feeds at 13 months

[AngelDog]

13 m.o. DS seems to have dropped several feeds rather suddenly and I'm starting to wonder whether it's actually a nursing strike rather than him cutting down.

He usually feeds:

Waking up
Mid morning
Middle of lunchtime nap (to resettle him)
Mid afternoon
Bedtime (he feeds to sleep)

For the last few days, he's refused the feeds on waking and in the morning/afternoon. He'll have about 3 sucks but stop before he can stimulate a letdown.

He usually feeds once or twice in the night, and that's continued as usual, even when he's been wide, wide awake at 1am .

He's also had a few meals recently where he's asked for water at the start so he seems to have been thirsty. Normally I only offer water half way through meals so he doesn't fill up on it.

Does that sound like a strike, or him just reducing his feeds normally?

If he's not having a mid-morning / mid-afternoon bf, should I be giving him water?

Self weaning usually happens over a very long period of time (months if not years!) so to drop a couple of feeds in a few days is unusual and not indicative of self weaning so I would think a bit of a strike.

HAs he been having more food than usual or have you been offering extra if he has refused a bf? Or is he teething or more distractible than normal?

If you want to wean him then take advantage of the reduced interest in bfing and offer extra water or even a bit of cows milk but if you want to continue bfing Kellymom has some good info about nursing strikes here

Good luck and I hope everything works out well.

i read somewhere that babies often reduce the amount they feed around the 12/13 month mark which is why lots of women stop BF then

I don';t know how true it is though! certainly ds2 went through a period of it and then at around 15 months went back to it like a newborn lol

Thanks; that's what I thought, TruthSweet. I'm not up for weaning yet so I'll try some of Kellymom's suggestions. We co-sleep already and I'll see if I can persuade him to take a bit more tonight.

He is teething - but it's not made a difference before, and this bout of teething has been going on for a month already (4 molars).

He's not had any more food than usual - possibly a bit less, but it's hard to tell as he's fussier now plus he throws most of it off his tray. He's recently dropped to one nap though, so I've been offering some food before lunch & some after - perhaps that is having an effect.

I don't think it's distractibility as normally that only happens when out & about, and then he wriggles or screams at me, whereas now he just tries to roll off my lap.

It would have been convenient if he really wanted to suddenly drop a few feeds, since I want my periods back!

I'll get my pump out

Even a short break from/lower level of nursing can trigger ovulation/return to fertility. Though 13m isn't late to resume cycles - the average is apparently 14m.

Could he have a problem with his ears? Take him to the docs to rule out an ear infection as that'll make sucking uncomfy. Sometimes they get ear problems without any obvious signs.

Good point, Iggly - I'll do that.

He slept better than usual last night so no extra feeds there, but he fed to sleep at lunchtime (he was overtired, bless him) and a little bit on waking.

The rest of the time he's either completely uninterested, or he has a few sucks and then stops before he gets a letdown going.

I've guessed at one possible reason for the strike: I inadvertently left him crying in his cot for quite a while after a nap on Monday. We had several visitors & I thought it was one of their babies so didn't go to him. :( He was in a real state by the time I realised, and he's not fed properly since. Cutting molars & having a bit of a cold can't help either.

I've been feeling pretty low about it all today. It triggered the talk with DH about how long to bf for - which I'd been tactically avoiding till now. DH would prefer I stop, although he understands it'd be a gradual process over a number of months. In the end we agreed that if DS resumes his previous pattern I'll encourage him to drop his first feed of the day and then see how things go, rather than making any decisions about when to wean. But just thinking about eventually stopping makes me all teary and emotional. :(

Oh Angel :( please don't be hard on yourself - it was a mistake. It's more likely to be his cold giving him ear trouble? My ears go funny when I've got a cold.

Also re giving up BF, what are your DH's reasons for wanting you to stop? We're still going at 16 months and DS is now on two feeds a day (sleeping through although waiting for the 18 month regression ) so it's not a burden.

I too would be very upset at the idea of stopping - I have also been avoiding! It's not just about nutrition, it's so much more than that.

Is it for TTC reasons? Maybe set a date for moving DS to his cot which is likely to reduce/stop night feeds (until next regression of course) and that might help (did with me)?

Also the first and last feeds of the day are usually the last ones to go so easier to drop the others.

Thank you, Iggly, for your ear infection suggestion. I'm feeling better about things - DS is Not Well. We saw a doctor and his ears look red so she's prescribed antibiotics.

I'm in a quandry though as I'm allergic to the antibiotics he's been given and I suspect he will have my anti-penicillin antibodies via my milk.

He is also streaming snot and coughing up mucus - last night he couldn't feed properly due to being unable to breathe. His eczema has flared up and he was sick last night (as I discovered when I stuck my hand in it this morning ) and today. He was up last night in apparent agony in his mouth, and this morning another half of a molar had appeared. To top it all off, he had a diarrhoea-like nappy just now, and was in bed 3 hours after he needed to be due to my protracted search for an open pharmacy.

On the positive side, he fed both before and during his nap today, and in the hospital waiting room - slightly ironic as 5 mins beforehand I was explaining to the triage nurse that I wanted his ears checked as I was concerned about him not feeding.

TruthSweet, he enjoyed our bath earlier very much (as did I) although it didn't encourage him to have more than a couple of sucks. But the waiting room would definitely be a different location from usual.

Just replied on your other thread before I saw this update - oops!

It sounds like your DS has got it all at the mo. Poor little thing though I bet you were with the bfing right after saying he wouldn't nurse.

I think they understand everything we say and then do their utmost to embarrass us

Thanks, TruthSweet. I did think of that with putting bm in his nose, but at 1.00am I was more interested in getting him back to sleep than getting him to feed. I might give it a go tomorrow though as I'm sure it'd help.

I left a message on Wendy's phone earlier as a matter of fact but thanks for the tip. :)

Someone on the health board here said it was unlikely that DS would have an allergy via my bm because it doesn't work like that, but he might well be genetically more likely to have a reaction, and that antibiotics would only speed recovery a bit. So I'm holding off for now, I think.

I hope he's not sick again tonight as the spare sheets & sleeping bag are in the wash from yesterday.

Compared to my DTs he's having a lot of feeds for a 13mo. (That's not a criticism at all, I am just surprised how much he's still feeding!)
Mine started dropping feeds at 8 mos - by 10 mos they were on first thing in the am and last thing at night only (they also fed to sleep). DT1 stopped waking up for night feeds at 9 mos, DT2 at 5 mos. They took to food very quickly (BLW at 6 mos) so maybe that's why.

So I guess, when he gets better (hope it's soon), that I would say it's normal for them to drop feeds a bit by this stage.

Yes, he always had, barmbrack - mainly because he's never really asked for feeds, so I've just kept offering till he showed signs of refusing (which hasn't really happened :)). I think he needs the daytime ones as it calms him down when things are getting fraught. But he needs encouragement to take the first one of the day, so I think that can probably go.

He usually only feeds once at night - when I go to bed (we co-sleep and I usually get him up & do a nappy change before I go to sleep). In fact, he'll often refuse bf when he wakes later in the night (I have to rock him back to sleep). Unless he's teething or has wind, in which case he can want to be fed 6 times before I get to bed myself.

at 6 feeds before bed!

I had to stop bf my boys at 10 mos because I had to start some nasty drugs for my arthritis - but I still miss it. Wish I could have carried on until the boys decided to stop.

Hope your DS is feeling much better soon.

Thank you! :)

Not to get into an argument but 5 feeds at 13m is not a lot at all - DD3 is 16m now and feeds at least 4 times a day and up to 3 times a night (11pm-7am). Well I say that but there was a night on the children's ward earlier this month when she had at least 10 feeds that night

My others have all had far more feeds than DD3 at this time period, DD1 for instance was having 8 feeds in the day and 4 in the night at 12m, plus at least 6 meals and 3 snacks, at 2y/o she was feeding 3-8 times a day and by 3y/o she was feeding 1-3times a day. DD2 is feeding a lot less than DD1 ever did since she was about 2.5 but even so she fed a min of 3 times a day and now at 3.2 she feeds every other day or so.

I am willing to concede that my DDs may be odd and unusual and feeding infrequently at 1y+ is the norm .

On the running out of sheets front - a bath towel tucked around the cot mattress or laid out on your bed is good in the middle of the night with sick. Even better if you have bath sheets (super sized bath towels) as then you can have them doubled up!

Yes, I've got towels under the sheet - the problem is we co-sleep so I need all the bath towels out, and we have a limited number of sheets to go over the top. I really need to buy a waterproof mattress protector.

On the feeding frequency, my guess is that your DDs fed more often than many, TS, but only because virtually every time I've posted something on here saying how often DS feeds, at least one person (if not more) has commented that it's a lot more frequent than their DC. But that's not necessarily representative.

6 meals and 3 snacks though! I couldn't face the mess - DS only has 3 meals a day so far. I try to keep food to a high chair & bib job as he is into food throwing at the moment so giving it more often would be a bit tedious.

Iggly, I've not ignored your question but I must get to bed - I can't face another night of going to sleep at 2am.

No worries Angel! I've been going to bed very early myself. I'm glad you're feeling better and you know what's up with your DS. It might be worth giving him calprofen if you haven't - very good for ear problems.

For your bed you can get disposable changing mats and use them under your sheets to catch any sick.

I hope your DS gets well soon. I suspect he'll be feeding loads once he's on the way to recovery as he'll be hungry!!

Angel - sorry should have been clearer, I put the bath towels OVER the sheets and in cases of extreme emergency instead of the sheets. We found that out the hard when with a reflux-y DD1 and co-sleeping.

I think a lot of people expect older babies/young toddlers to only have am/pm bfs (if they have to have any) so to have feeds in the day seems quite shocking to many. Hence the many comments about to much. Not at Barmbrack though just a comment in general (from RL exp. too).

And, yes 6 meals & 3 snacks - as an example DD1 had a 3 course breakfast of 2 weetabix with gold top milk, 2 slices of buttered toast and a cereal bar,
a banana and fruit pouch for elevenses,
2 x scrambled egg & cheese on toast with peas and sweetcorn & a big bowl of greek yoghurt & fruit puree for lunch,
3-4 biscuits and packet of baby snacks for midafternoon snack,
chicken casserole with potatoes and big bowl of greek yoghurt with fruit and a handful of grapes for tea,
a bowl of porridge for supper
plus 8 bfs in the day and 4 overnight.

I hadn't realised how much food she was having until I had to do a food diary for the HV. The HV wanted DD1 to eat more food (after she had read the diary ) and she had gained 3.5lbs in 3 months. DD1 ate more than me as a tallish/fatish PREGNANT woman and I was supposed to get her to eat more at then 15m old? By that time though of course my milk had gone so she was having a pint of gold top milk instead of bm but was still feeding frequently in the day (had nightweaned by that point though).

Strike day 6:

DS initiated 2 feeds when he was wide awake in the middle of the night but threw the first straight back up. He threw up his bedtime feed tonight too. We're struggling to keep up with the washing and now need our carpet professionally cleaned.

I've had V&D all day and DH was away so it's not been a particularly fun day here. Neurofen seemed to help this morning so I've got my syringe ready in case.

We started antibiotics in the end (and Wendy said the allergy doesn't pass via milk).

I think DS has conjunctivitis too. :( He went berserk when I tried putting bm in his eyes / nose but I'll have another go tomorrow. I just hope he doesn't get the bug I've got. Back to the doctor tomorrow for a second opinion.

, TruthSweet, at that amount of food (& your HV). Must have cost you a fortune!

I've got my bed towelled up (but under the sheets as rough surfaces irritate DS's facial eczema). Poor thing, he's having a rough old time of it.

AngelDog - Don't lose heart at their worst strikes can last 2 weeks or so, so you could be on the homeward stretch. Hopefully when DS is feeling a bit better he will go back to feeding normally.

Anything you can do/give to keep your and his fluids up is great. Perhaps try ice lollies, fruit pouches, home made slushees (semi frozen fruit puree mixed with fruit juice/squash), chicken soup or even dripping water/bm in the corner of his mouth while he's asleep if he won't take anything awake.

If you are in West Sussex, I'll do your washing for you - we have an environment destroying tumble drier, washing machine and a spin dryer to hand so it would be easy to do. I don't drive unfortunately but will willingly do the washing if you can deliver if it helps? Plus I've got a carpet cleaner and a steam cleaner you could borrow?

Should have said I'm near the big airport so quite near Surrey or even Hampshire/Kent at a push.

Oh no Angel your poor DS and poor you. Given that your DS is so ill, the rules have changed so no wonder he's on strike. Try not to take it personally. Justget through this illness and take it from there. Is your DS drinking water to keep his fluids up?
Also if you can't take up Truth's kind offer, you can hire a rug doctor from places likes homebase. Very good apparently!

Thank you so much, TruthSweet - that's really kind. :) I'm in Herts so a bit too far away unfortunately.

We've made progress on the washing front and fortunately we didn't need a complete change of bedding last night. We've switched to disposable nappies which helps. DH is back now and has been on washing machine duty while I see to DS. Iggly, thanks for the rug doctor suggestion - I'll look into it once DS is better. :)

We've got a doctor's appointment this morning so I can ask about his vomiting. My V&D seems to have cleared up, thankfully.

Fortunately DS has been happy to drink water today. He's still got sporadic diarrhoea but I'm less worried than yesterday about dehydration.

He took a full feed in the night and didn't vomit till 3.5 hours later, so hopefully that should have done him some good, and he's eating some solids.

He seems okay in himself this morning, just extra stroppy and impatient with me when I don't understand what he's shouting about.

I anticipate being confined to the sofa feeding for a week once he recovers. It's clear he wants to feed but finds it uncomfortable, which is better than a straight refusal.

Well, the GP said he's more worried about DS's chest than his ears - and his cough is actually really bad. Hopefully the antibiotics should shift it.

He wasn't particularly concerned about the vomiting which was a relief. He's given me more antibiotics for the sticky eye, although I'm trying to treat it with bm first. The poor thing hates me putting drops in his eye.

DS had 3 feeds today, including one in the doctor's waiting room again (it was naptime). I'm limiting him to one breast per feed in the hope of preventing sickness. So far so good.

He's drunk loads of water today and the teething dribble has returned, and he's weed more than yesterday so he's clearly better hydrated. Oh, and another half a molar came through last night.

Hopefully tomorrow we can get back to normal times for naps & bedtime so there's some possibility of not being awake for a couple of hours in the night. I'm sure that'd do both of us good. :)