BF advice needed - going to be in hospital for 2 wks

[2boys1cat]

Hello,
I've been a visiting the Mumsnet site for a while but this is my first post - an appeal for some advice please!

My youngest son is four weeks old today. A couple of weeks ago, when he was 6 days old, I was diagnosed with a thankfully treatable, curable form of tongue cancer. I?ve had biopsies, CT scan, MRI scan etc etc, and will be having an operation to remove the tumour (which is mainly sitting on top of my tongue) on 14th February. I will have to stay in hospital for up to two weeks, but the good news is that the hospital are moving very quickly and the intention of the operation is to cure me. There may be some radiotherapy afterwards as they are tackling this with both belts and braces, to quote the consultant, to make doubly certain that the cure is complete. I will also probably have to have some speech therapy afterwards as well. As you can imagine, it?s all a shock.

Anyway my reason for posting is to ask if anyone has any advice to help me continue BFing while I'm in hospital. My HV team are recommending that I wean my baby onto FF within the next couple of days so that my breasts aren't engorged etc etc while I'm recovering as apparently I'm going to be in enough pain as it is. I really really want to keep on BF, even if we have to use formula as well. Being able to BF my baby is one of the things that is keeping me going at the moment. I'll be in ICU for the first 24-48 hours after the operation.

Our plan is to
a)hire an electric pump from the NCT so that I can build up a stock of frozen milk beforehand and express while I'm in hospital. If I have to pump and dump some of the milk to keep my supply going then I?m prepared for that.
b)My partner and my mum will be able to bring baby in every day so that I can feed as much as I can ? although I will need help holding him as my left arm will be in a cast due to a skin graft they?ve got to take from my wrist. They?ll also pick up as much as possible of what I?ve expressed and help me express.
c)Use formula to top up as necessary. He?s already had to have some aptimal from a bottle while I was having biopsies etc and he seems to have no trouble switching from breast to bottle and back again.

Sorry this is so long! Any advice would be great, either on the BF or on anything to do with staying in hospital for so long away from a new born. Thank you!

Hi, 2boys1cat, sorry to hear about your illness. And congratulations on the birth of your DS !

Hopefully there will be others along with practical suggestions as I have no experience of this.
I am just posting to wish you luck with everything. I think it is a very brave thing you are attempting to do and you may well need to dig your heels in to get HCP to support you in this. Your plan sounds good - the main thing is going to be to feed him several times a day as presumably he will not be with you overnight? Ideally you should then at least express overnight and you may need help by a nurse to do that, particularly if your one hand with be out of commission.
I'd concentrate on not losing your supply and not stress too much about how much FF your DS will get IYKWIM. Hopefully you will be in hospital less long than feared and then you want to be able to go back to fully BFing him.

V v best of luck.

Sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I don't know the answer to your questions I'm afraid but I suggest you try re-posting this in the Breast and Bottle Feeding section as there as some very knowledgeable people in there.

Oh, yes, I hadn't even noticed this was not in the feeding topic. Would be well worth having it moved: report your own post to MNHQ by pressing the 'report' button on the bar with your nickname and ask them to move the whole thread - saves you reposting.

Thank you for the best wishes. Today has been a good day - the sunshine helps alot!
PacificDogwood - I'm not fretting about the FF as I hope it's going ot be temporary, and the most important thing is that DS will be fed. I should be able to feed him at least a couple of times a day.

I'll go and ask for the post to be moved now!

Definately get as much support from the hospital as you can... have you spoken to your consultant about this? Will the ward be aware of your needs? Can you get the maternity dept to help at all? Perhaps you could be moved there once well enough - so it would be easier for your LO, wards often have patients sleeping out on other wards so maybe this would be possible? Is there an infant feeding specialist at the hospital you can speak to? Or possibly ask PALS for some help?

Sorry, no actual help with the practicalities, but I think you probably need some RL expert help with this. It is going to be a difficult time for all of you. But you are doing an amazing thing by doing everything you can to keep up with bf your DS. I wish you all the luck in the world

so sorry this is happening to you

my only advice is to be very VERY realistic about how much you can do this, it might be that you need to FF for some time, and whilst this occurs, pump and dump, then when the 2 weeks are over you can get back to BF full time, does that make sense? in parallel you can start now to build up a supply of expressed milk . I had a minor op recently and I took in the b-pump for this very reason, punp the druggy milk, bin it but keep the supply going

I would honestly urge you to put your health first, and not stress too much about the short term BF as what your son needs above all is a healthly Mummy

dont read this as me saying give up on BF, if you pump and dump the supply will keep going and you can hopefully BF again when you get out

but if for some reason your baby has to have FF when you are ill/in recovery its NOT the end of the world. I would just hate to imagine you being post operative and stressing about feeding, when really you need to be recovering

the various BF helplines have great advice on the various medications and how they affect the milk so give them a bell when you know what so

good luck , and I hope the time passes very fast and that you recover well x

talk to h'care professionals / infant feeding team from your local maternity unit before you dump any though, they'll know about the half life of any drugs you're on. There is a trust in Birmingham (perhaps someone can help with further info on this) where the pharmasists are known for the knowledge on particular drugs and their affect on b.milk

The Breastfeeding Network has a Drugs in Breastmilk Helpline run by a pharmacist who is absolutely lovely. I called her from the hospital when I was admitted recently for 5 days due to suspected ulcerative colitis.

Also, the hospital was able to arrange for me to borrow a pump from the maternity ward. It didn't seem to work for me, but I think I was very dehydrated.

If it is at all possible, get the pump sooner rather than later and get to grips with it and make sure it works for you! I highly recommend the Medela Swing. You could try to build up a stash to leave for your baby to take the pressure off while you are in hospital.

Best of luck to you, hope the surgery goes well.

I've had to be an in-patient whilst bfing (6m & 9m though) and I can definitely rec. the double electric pump. It definitely is worth the money!

See if you can arrange for disposable pumps to be provided for you (the bits that go on your breasts) from the maternity ward as you use them for 24hrs then throw away so you don't need to sterilse.

If not have a cold water steriliser/large tupperware type container and milton tablets, a jug of water and bowl for waste so you can rinse the pumps through before putting in the steriliser set up on your bedside table so it can all be done with out anything getting lost/you getting up.

Also, having a top/vest/bra that you have doctored to hold the pumps in place so you can pump hands free and that you can pump lying down/reclined. Secret support type vest top or crop tops are good for this - cut holes just big enough to get the pumps in [tip - the end that doesn't go on your breast is smaller!]and away you go.

If you need help to get the pumps in position so be it but you can then pump for as long as you need to with out tying up a nurse/aide to hold them for you (will make you more popular with the staff!).

Make sure the maternity ward or the ward you are on will store your milk for you other wise you will need a cool box and lots of pre-frozen ice packs.

If you can express at least 8 times a day including one over night (12am-3am time slot) that should hopefully keep your supply up though the more you can express the more likely your supply will cope regardless of the amount produced. Hand expressing after pumping as well can be very beneficial (but obviously save that for when you are feeling up to it).

If you will have periods of time when you are feeling better then block pumping can be really good - pump both sides simultaneously for 10 mins then rest for 10 then pump for 10 then rest for 10 then pump for 10. That can take the place of 3 pumping sessions if you want (or if it is a good day for you carry on as normal). Good if you are likely to be unable to pump for a while as you will have still got the sessions in and you can rest for a bit/have a procedure/test with out worrying abut fitting in a session.

If you can pump just before the op (e.g. in pre-op room) then do so as you will probably not feel up to it straight after coming round though if the recovery nurses know you are bfing they may help you to pump so take your pump with you to the op to have afterwards (cool bag also a good idea so your milk doesn't get lost!).

Some good information for your DH and who ever else will be caring for your son with regards to bottle feeding is here so they can avoid over feeding (can be common with bottle feeding). Introducing a dummy be for you go in might be a good idea too, so that your son isn't reliant on bottles for suckling/comfort.

I'm really sorry you are having to deal with this so soon after the birth of your son (congrats on that!) and I wish you well. Sorry for massive post!

I've just had an op, just a minor little one, but over the course of my recovery I was on 3 different kinds of opiates (inc morphine), two or three other painkillers, antibiotics and a sleeping tablet. I expect you will also be on serious painkillers and probably dopey from them, sleeping a lot and feeling really emotional. Your committment to breastfeeding is fantastic but don't let it become something it isn't. Not breastfeeding your child is not sin so great it's worth messing with your treatment/recovery over. No one is going to judge you as harshly as you will judge yourself if you don't pull this off.

Just take a step back for a minute. They're going to surgically remove a tumour, give you radiotherapy, put you on pretty mega drugs. You'll be hurting, you'll be spacey/dopey/tired, your arm will be in plaster and if there's an infection outbreak on your ward baby probably wont be able to come in at all. I am not saying you will fail, right now it looks to me that you have a chance at pulling it off, but I am saying that if anything else compounds the problem, like you being under anaesthetic longer than thought or you being too uncomfortable to express then you really must to cut yourself some slack. The thing your sons need over and above anything in this world is you to be alright, and that means not giving yourself a kicking when you don't deserve it.

You've gone over and above the call in even trying this. Don't be too hard on yourself if it doesn't come together.

well said underacheiving

I am seeing my Dad having similar treatment, amd it does knock you out. Mummys recovery comes first IMO

Thank you so much all of you - both for the fantastic advice and the moral support! It really does help.

I got some good news today - one of the hospital therapists is also a breastfeeding advisor for the Breastfeeding Network and she is organising an electric breastpump for me and help with expressing and feeding while I'm in hospital. She's also going to come along to the next meeting we have with the consultants. The hospital (Southampton General) are being fantastic, I really couldn't ask for more. We have a specialist nurse assigned to us who we can contact with any queries and sits in the consultant meetings with us taking notes so that we've got something to refer to when we realise that we haven't taken everything in! The HV team are now being very supportive now that they've realised that I want to really try to keep my supply going so that I can at least BF afterwards, even if I don't BF much while I'm actually in hospital. The senior HV is coming to help me draw up a "battle plan" next week. It's going to be a busy week!

I realise that I am going to have to pump and dump for a while, and you're right - I'm going to be no good to either of my boys if I slow down my recovery. Hopefully I'll be able to express some for the baby to be bottle fed breast milk so that he still gets some benefit of that, with FF to top up, and I'm building up a nice supply in the freezer. At least I won't have to worry about being dehydrated etc as I'll be fed through a tube for a while. I won't be able to go onto the maternity ward unfortunately as the maternity hospital is a separate hospital round the corner.

BFing my baby is a comfort to me at the moment, as well as being good for him. I had a lot of difficulting feeding DS1, and I hate the thought of giving up feeding DS2 when it's been going so well without trying my best. If I try my best and it doesn't work, well, I can live with that. The most important things are that I recover and he gets enough to eat, BF or FF.

Thank you again, all of you - you've been very kind.

NO advice but hope it all goes well, take care x

thats great news, and I really understand that you'd want to contunie to BF and have that link to the baby. You have been in my toughts since I read your OP so thanks for coming back to let us know

good luck and speedy recovery xx

I don't know about your specific issue but just wanted to say that you are so lucky to be at Southampton - they saved my little sister's life when she had a stroke at 11 and it is a wonderful hospital; the people there were the very best of the best. Very best of luck with your treatment and recovery.