Really struggling, don't know what to do next...

[greenbeanie]

I posted about 2 weeks ago that dd (dc3) was struggling with feeding and I thought it was due to excessive milk and fast let down. I looked on Kellymom and block nursing seems to have made a difference, now no longer engorged and dd seems to be able to cope with flow.

But, dd is still screaming with at least 50% of feeds, and I mean screaming. I had a breastfeeding counsellor observe a feed and she felt that the latch was good and the problem was likely to be a developmental stage. I am really struggling, in the past 10 days dd has fed well for 2 days but apart from that is screaming at feed time. She will often latch on very briefly before screaming,or sometimes won't latch on at all.

Today she last fed at 10am and has refused to feed since although I am sure she is hungry, after all it is over 8 hours since she last fed. I feel that I am really failing her as she seems so unhappy but nothing seems to help. There is no sign of thrush in her mouth and she seems to be quite content when kicking around on the floor. No real signs of wind, drawing up legs etc. or reflux. Just gets really upset at feeing times. Any ideas would be great.

I'd get her checked by the doctor tbh. Do you have a decent hv?

Thanks for the reply. I am a HV and a paediatric nurse!! I doubt that there is anything physically wrong as she is very content between feeds and on the days when she feeds well. It is almost as though the bad experience of fast let down etc. has put her off. Which I think is why the bf counsellor felt that it was developmental.

I am just really struggling to cope with this. I know that she is not rejecting me but I feel that I am doing such a bad job at trying to feed her.

Could it be thrush though. I know you have said that there are no signs but both DS1 and 2 had thrush and there was no visible signs of it in their mouths.

Have you been able to express - would she perhaps take a bottle of ebm if you are desperate to get something inside her? It does sound odd though. I would also consult a GP if it doesn't improve...

I have tried expressing and offering a bottle. I am doing a course and return to college in 2 weeks so she will need to have a bottle when dh is looking after her but she absolutely refuses - but that's another problem. I suspect she is picking up on my anxiety as I am now dreading feed times, although sometimes it is fine.

Maybe try a babymoon and just go to bed with her? If you can relax, maybe she will too.

It sounds very difficult, Greenbeanie. Could you not buy an over the counter dose of antithrush stuff (Daktarin?) and treat her and you just in case it is thrush.

Could you not seek a second opinion from a different bfc? I really don't know - perhaps Tiktok will be along later with a few words of wisdom...

Japhrimel - I think a babymoon sounds like a good idea, I've got a free day at the end of the week so shall try then

Tryhader - I have got prescriptions for daktarin for me and nystatin for dd from a colleague but hadn't bothered getting it as there were no symptoms but it might be worth trying, even just to rule it out. Still doesn't explain why some feeds are ok though. DD fed really well at 10am with no problems at all even though we were in the middle of a carpark!!

Maybe distraction helped her to not think about it? I'd try a babymoon and if that doesn't help, try feeding her in different locations and positions to avoid the mental association with the feeds that may have led to the strike.

How old is she? It couldn't be teething pain could it? Just a shot in the dark. Or a bit of silent reflux - as my DS had similar screaming matches during and after feeding, never the half an hour feed to sleeps others seem to have. Infant gaviscon has really helped.

I had a strong let-down, with screaming at most daytime feeds, and you have all my sympathy. Awful- I felt rejected and as if I was forcing DS to breastfeed. It also took me several months to realise what the problem was, and even the I never really solved it. Also, it was not related to engorgement at all, as I've rarely had that, or leaking. I'm thinking of you and hope you crack it.

What I did: feed the INSTANT he woke from naps, go for a drive and feed immediately when we got home, as he was relaxed then, and I did a lot of rocking/jogging to get him to sort-of sleep when the screaming started, and then I'd try again. I tried feeding with his head higher than my boob, but that didn't seem 'strong' enough medicine. The only thing I never tried was expressing a bit first. Have you tried that?

So, the early montrhs were a nightmare for me, but eventually the problem was solved by time. I think he got big enough at about 5 months, for it not to be a problem. The positive: after all that, I'm still feeding at 14 months, and I love it now. It's just so great that he LIKES breastfeeding! Never want to stop.

Tittbojangles, I don't think it's teething as she is only 11wks, although I know it can be sooner.

Zacklesmum, what you experienced sounds quite similar, I managed to feed her whilst she was 1/2 asleep yesterday evening with no problems and she also fed ok this morning whilst awake. But sometimes it is awful, I have got to the point where I avoid going out during feed times as it can be impossible with all the crying and screaming (and that's just me!!). Glad to hear the problem resolved, I fed my previous 2dc for well over a year without any problems so it has taken me by surprise really.