DH wants me to stop BFing DS

[crapbarry]

DH, who was amazingly supportive in the early weeks and months, is starting to hint that he wants me to stop BFing DS - he has made a couple of 'bitty' comments and got a kick in the nuts and received the requisite scathing looks in response, but we finally actually talked about it last night.

Firstly, he doesn't remember agreeing that 2 years was a good 'time limit' and we'd discuss it further then. Secondly, he said that he is starting to find BFing a little creepy, as he sees DS as a little boy rather than a baby. It probably doesn't help that he (DS) now claps and cheers when he sees me unclipping my bra, and sometimes sticks his hand down my top and giggles manically. He does have a slight 'piranha after a week without food' approach to latching on too, which DH (and if I'm honest, I) finds very disconcerting.

I did ask that he respect my original 2 years goal, and he has said he will, of course, but we've kind of agreed that it will be bed time and morning feeds only from now on - which it mainly is, really, just occasionally at the weekend, DS will dive at me and want a feed (I work M-F, slightly shorter than F/T hours, so can't feed during the day now).

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about it - on one hand it would be lovely to not do bed times every night. on the other hand, DS likes his milk, he's not exactly wasting away from his diet, and with his recurring ear infections and teething hell, I like being able to comfort and feed him so easily. Also, it may not be relevant for much longer as I'm away for a week in April, and DS may just stop feeding naturally with a break that long. He'll be 18 months then.

I'm not sure what to do - I think we've left it that it's up to me and DS, but DH is not going to be so supportive now. I do sort of feel that it's DH's problem, and he can bloody well deal with it, but on the other hand, he is my partner, and we've made most decisions together wrt DS, so I have to take what he says into account.

My dh is similar, and here I am still bfing ds aged 2years and 4 months. Dh would have liked me to stop a year ago, but I explained how I enjoy it, and ds enjoys it, it is still very good for his health, he has eczema and allergies and every drop of breastmilk will be helping.

I haven't made a big deal out of it, just gradually time goes on and I still haven't stopped.

Would he (and you) feel ok if you investigated teaching 'nursing manners' (there have been some threads on here about it)?

Sticking hand down top - toddler can be taught you don't like that - and diving - he can be taught to wait until you have sat down and are comfortable.

18 month olds won't learn it overnight, of course, but kind, consistent, patient reminding does the trick :)

It sounds as though your DH is prepared to respect your decision either way, so that's great. If I were you I'd just see how it goes until this week away in April- you put forward a lot of arguments in favour of stopping, but really it doesn't read like you've totally engaged with the idea.

Your child your choices and you should do what you feel right. My experience was that the 2 dc I fed for a long time (really struggled with dc1) both started messing around at about the 16 month mark. I gave up feeding them at 17.5 months and 17 months respectively and they've never looked back. So personally I would just say just play it by ear. You don't know how things will pan out.

nursing manners sound like a plan. I doubt they'd overcome his feelings of 'ickiness' but tough! he didn't help himself by saying 'shouldn't he be on formula by now?' to me. He's getting a kindle for his birthday in a couple of weeks, and I'm so going to get him a copy of the Politics of Breastfeeding for it!!

glad others have overcome this hurdle belgo!

thanks :)

yes nursing manners. Just as you teach them table manners at the table, teach them nursing manners when nursing.

you can mention that breastmilk is cheaper then formula and is better digested.

I've pointed out the costs belgo, but he isn't 100% convinced by them. however, he does know me well enough to know not to make too much of an issue of this :o and I respect him enough to take what he says into consideration, even if I then disregard it!

Or I say 'at least I'm not feeding him coke' and I do reassure dh that I will stop bfing before ds goes to university.