Breast feeding after a year

[Beanfrog]

From other posts you may well know that I'm still breast feeding ds. I'm begining to feel some social pressure about this, just the usual "you're STILL breast feeding" comments but it has started to get to me. Now I feel maybe I'm B/feeding too much, he still gets 4 feeds a day and sometimes more at night. I don't know if its just because "society" is telling me to stop that I feel this way or if in fact he should have less feeds. What's everyone elses experiences?

Now how did I know I'd bump into you two here???

I know the 'social pressure' thing is a bit crap, but you can't deny it exists. Ultimately I will do what I feel is right, but there is no end of people telling you you are cruel not to give your baby solids as he is obviously hungry, yet when you bf more it's "oh are you feeding him again"..and such like. Sorry I have gone off on a tangent . Comments like that would not make me stop bf but they can make you feel like you are a bit weird or at least the exception to be doing what you are doing. Am I right that people who make negative comments are jealous or feel guilty because they didn't do it themselves? It's the only conclusion I can come to.

I'm with you on the jealous angle tatties.
It unnerves some peope to see such an exclusive symbiotic relationship developing.

Mind you,people always offer unsolicited advice on every aspect of babycare so no reason why b/feeding shouldn't be part of this!

I think jealousy is part of it. Also, people are always trying to rush babies along. How many teeth? Is he walking yet? etc etc

If they don't stop breastfeeding and start eating chips now, they'll still be breastfeeding at 30, doncha know.

Please don't worry about your DS's solid intake. And be brave, don't bother with jars or puree, just give table scraps! It's much less work, and more interesting for your baby, too.

LOL at "gold plated shite"...
yes everyone does seem to be obsessed with babies being independent from a ridiculously earaly age. very bizarre. my favourite was always "she's only doing it for comfort!" to which my reply was "er, your point is??"I am STILL bf at 2.5 (3x a day), with new baby due any minute. I have become very very good at this particular expression:

serene indifference

Tatties, my ds is almost 12months and it's only in the last few weeks that he's really got into eating solids (we started from 6m).

Until recently I was bfing on demand (so he'd get 3 solid meals but would probably eat only 2-3 ice-cubes worth of food - he wasn't interested in more).

I am beginning to be a bit more choosy about when I feed him during the day - if we're out I'm more likely to offer a solid snack or a cup of water and bf only if he's tired or upset. I suppose this is partly because I'm becoming a bit self-conscious about it (although no-one's ever said anything to me), but also because he's incredibly wriggly and has started trying to stand up when feeding. It's mainly because his new-found enthusiam for solids these days makes it the easier thing to do, though.

My DS2 sounds a bit like yours. I'm getting annoyed with on-demand feeding. Well, not the feeding per se, it's having my top yanked at all the time. I wore a low-cut top to a birthday party yesterday, and got mauled a lot. I think he's feeding out of boredom or instead of cuddling, and I'm disliking being fiddled with.

I'm really happy feeding, and do want to feed to 2 years or more. I just have to decide to put my foot down, or to cope with it a bit longer. Or maybe I'll distract him more.

Another problem, he likes to stand up while feeding, which is ok-ish, but he also really prefers that I lie down on my back with my top off. That way, he can change boobs at his leisure, and also watch out for those hidden breasts I don't let him have. While standing next to me, on one leg (the other leg goes out straight behind him. I'm not kidding!). Which is not the most discreet feeding position.

PMSL at hidden boobs

He sounds like a flamingo, NQC But discreet...er, nope!

I found DS weaning a remarkably easy process and never got pestered for feeds when we were out - but then I did get pregnant again and make his fave snack change flavour Had I not been pg now, I'm fairly sure he'd still be feeding. But since he only stopped at nearly 17mo, I think I did my bit for bfeeding (and I can start all over again in less than three months' time...

I sit dd down beside me and turn my upper body towards her and thats how she has most of her feeds now. She won't sit on my knee to feed, unless I let her sit upright and have her pick of my breasts. Sitting her beside me seems to stop her handling my other breast at the same time and also is relatively discreet. People dont associate the position with breastfeeding so don't look twice.

Roxwood, he really likes standing up. If he starts on my lap, he moves to standing on the floor between my legs (for my back's sake, it's best we're on a low chair). It's only during the before-sleep feeds that he stays on my lap normally.

Given he prefers to feed standing up (on one leg, with his forehead digging into my boob) when feeding in bed with me, I think the standing up thing is here to stay.

We do get some funny comments, breastfeeding at toddler groups, me bending forwards in a kid's chair, him standing up between my legs, swapping boobs repeatedly.

He really does seem convinced I have some spare boobs somewhere, he wants my top up and out of the way! Now!

Ds is 2.5 and it sounds like he feeds more than your ds Beanfrog, so I wouldn't worry about the frequency! I also fretted a bit when he got to a year old. I just needed a bit of support to cancel out the negative messages I was picking up from our rather anti-breastfeeding society. Things that helped me were: to spend time with other women who were also breastfeeding toddlers, reading the book "Mothering your Nursing Toddler" and reading on the website Kellymom.

This is my favourite web page on the subject, which I have bookmarked and sometimes print out to give to friends who are getting a hard time from friends, family or health visitors! benefits of extended breastfeeding

I remember when I chose to stop breastfeeding ds at the age of 2 it was mainly due to my SIL telling me that I was only doing it to keep him a baby and I was being selfish in not letting him grow up. She has her own ds now and is still breastfeeding at 2.5. So it just goes to show that you shouldn't listen to anyone outside your immediate family. Do what suits you and your child.

Beanfrog ....There's also a great book called The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer.

Oh spidermama,that one is in my top ten of favourite books of all time (and believe me,I've read a lot!!!)

That is so weird, Triceratops.
I was speaking with someone today who was saying that DS (16months) is now seeming like quite a little boy.
Eventually she confessed that it was his clothes that made him look like a little boy! That when he got down to nappy & vest, he could still pass for an 6-8 month old (in body shape, not size).
To me they ARE babies until they are 2yo. They are obviously enormously immature little creatures until about 2, and they they are obviously still very little people; they still need mama's milk.

Oh frannykenstein I would LOVE to meet up with some other b/feeding mums - but I don't know any - our local support group stopped because there weren't enough mums

In my local paper this week it was announced only 26% of mothers in the area were breast feeding at the 6 week check. No wonder I don't know anyone who has breastfed past 6 months old.

Have you got a La Leche League near you, Beanfrog? If you phone 0845 120 2918 you'll get put through to a La Leche League leader near you. They have regular meetings and also provide support over the phone.