Baby Getting stressed mid feed

[Amyvip]

Hi,

My first baby (a girl) was born 13 days ago. She started out feeding like a trooper: immediate a great latch, almost no (and now none) pain for me. We suffer with all the usual on these threads: we are cluster feeding (or even just permanently feeding) every evening from 7-12 (or 10-3am) and only getting any kind of stretch (3-4 hours max) for the two sessions 3-6, 6-9am. Daytimes are easier 2-3 hour feeds until the evening - night clustering starts. The clustering is totally exhausting and draining and I have taken heart from the threads on this topic.

However: over the last few days a new problem seems to have started spontaneously and I can find discussion on it. Mid way through a feed (most often in the cluster period but not exclusively) she will fall off the breastand want to try and re latch. However she immediately gets into a complete state, headbutting and gasping and then wailing pretty quickly. It is heartbreaking as the nipple is right there in her mouth but she won't close her lips and find it she is so distressed. This has now taken over the night sessions so we spend most of the night with her in this pickle desperate to feed (although she's drunk me dry often so must be sated, nutritionally at least...).

I have tried everything I can. I pull her away and try to calm her first (or wind her) before starting her afresh, I have put the nipple in her mouth trying to get it to hit the roof of her mouth, I try to hold her/her head steady but this distresses her more. Last night it went on for hours and we were all three of us at our wits end with me and DD in floods of tears. And Dd.

Any tips on ending this upsetting habit? I don't know how it starred and I just want to be able to calm my baby down and give her what gage needs.

Thoughts appreciated.

Sorry gage was supposed to be 'she'. Typing on phone with snoozing baby on chest isn't the most efficient!

It does sound very much like wind to me - have you managed to get a burp out of her before starting again?

Can you get your partner to take her off and walk her around a bit til she calms down? Then bring her back to the breast and maybe just let her self-attach or have some calm time lying at the breast without you trying to latch her on.

Hi,

I am managing to get a burp occasionally, but not always, although I am trying to every time it starts now. (tips?) She has burped on the breast so I think wind is part of it...

Partner is doing the walking bit too, at least started last night, but she did wail and wail (which feels like it will break my heart). The problem is there is no calm time she seems to be slumbering, barely sucking any more and well fed, but the second the nipple falls she goes crazy.

I will firmly implement the walking away with dad for winding tonight/today and see if that improves it. Thank you.

Wind is my first thought too, ds used to get v upset in the middle of a feed, but once you got a big burp out of him he was fine again.

Same as Cosmosis

Could be wind.

But because I have a tendency to try to resist the (cultural) notion of wind as an explanation for every mysterious new baby behaviour, I'd suggest it might be something else, and to see it as normal newborn 'disorganised' behaviour.

Babies can get 'disorganised' when they get themselves so worked up they start irritating themselves with flailing hands and loud crying (their own) and they need calming down and bringing down from this state, to one in which they can let their instincts to feed, suck and swallow take centre stage.

Babies can quickly become overwhelmed when new - sometimes they deal with this by 'switching off' and sometimes they don't deal with it at all and just get themselves into a terrible paddy.

I suspect with your baby, OP, she falls off the breast accidentally and then gets thrown into a panic because she is not yet able to relatch very well - what you are witnessing is the stress and disorganisation that arises from that. I say this because you say it happens after she falls off the breast.

I would suggest that what would help would be sheer calm and patience - hold her close, maybe in a biological nurturing position (google it) and keep talking to her quietly and keeping your own movements and gestures low key and slow.

She will grow out of this as she gets better able not to panic when she 'loses' the nipple.

Could she be overtired? We had that issue with DD - she'd want to nurse but she'd actually be tired, not hungry. Now I'm trying to make sure she gets 2 naps a day, she doesn't do this.

DD used to get very agitated during feeds at around that point. I think TikTok is probably on to something because what helped DD was minimal help. If I interfered and tried to poke my nipple back into her mouth or squirt milk at her she'd get cross and upset. If I lay back and allowed her to use her rooting instinct to find the nipple again she would calm down. In the end I decided the crying and fussing were her way of saying 'Gerroff Mum! I know what I'm doing.'

It stopped quite soon, around 4 weeks I think.

Just a quick tip I learned from MN, which you may already have found is to try ssshhhing directly into her ear (to block out the noise of her crying I think) to calm her. This is really once you are at the pacing round the room trying to wind a wailing baby stage though, not as a solution to your feeding problem... but it really helps our DS calm down enough for another go at feeding.

Tiktoks advice is great, staying calm (not easy I know) really makes a difference. I find hearing my DS cry now doesnt work me up into quite the same state as it did and I'm sure that helps him calm down too as I'm not bouncing him round pleading with him to stop crying.

Congrats on your DD by the way.

The only thing that calmed mine when they got to that stage was facing them down over my lap supporting the head and letting the legs kick freely, usually a big trump would follow