I think it's time to stop breastfeeding but I'm struggling.

[Haribojoe]

DS3 is nearly five months old and is EBF. Have had sore nipples a few times but feeding has been pretty much problem free.

Before Christmas I had the feeling that he had stopped gaining weight but couldn't weigh him for a while due to snow, chicken pox, flu etc.

Finally weighed him and in 6 weeks he'd gained 150g.

HV was very good and encouraged me to carry on BF but really concentrate on feeds for a couple of weeks.

Few weeks later and he's not gaining any weight now, mentioned it to GP (who is lovely) and said that really I should supplement with formula.

My instinct is that he needs to be supplemented and that whilst well he's not thriving as I think he should.

This conincides with me having really sore nipples, him not feeding brilliantly, and me feeling that PND is starting to rear it's ugly head again.

I feel that I would be happy to change to FF now as I've done really well, am getting down about it and also am going back to work in a few weeks.

BUT as soon as I think this I just feel the most crushing guilt at what feels like depriving him of something he loves for selfish reasons.

Just wanted to get it off my chest really, DH is trying so hard to help but how can I tell him that I'm petrified that my depression is back and about how ill I might get.

Have you thought about starting solids instead? I'd have thought solids+breastfeeding would be better than switching to formula. I weaned my ds at 22 weeks and he's jumped a centile line in the last couple of weeks.

Five months? Well flipping one, BF had me carted off to the local MH unit after a couple of weeks :)

Please do NOT feel guilty - you have done amazingly well.

You have a RIGHT to feel well and happy, and PND is truely, truely awful. It is more important you fight that then continuie to BF and be miserable. I know - I ahve been there, and had to deal with he consequences.

Have you seen the FF support thread? Have a read of some of the stories there - they will hopefully make you realise your not alone.

It has crossed my mind, I just don't know what to do really.

A lot of the time I don't feel that DS is feeding that well at the breast and he tugs so much at the breast which is making it more difficult and painful.

So sorry to hear that you feel your PND is coming back. You really must not feel guilty you have done great to provide breastmilk for this long! The suggestion is to stop a breastfeed a week. This will help as you will not get engorged. I am sure that kellysmom website has information on mixed feeding so may be you could give that a read.

I feel it is important that you tell someone that you are feeling like your PND is coming back as it will help you. It is so hard to explain to people how you feel though when you are like this. It is wonderful that you have come on here though to speak to us about it.

Have you started to wean your little one yet? I realise that the government guidelines are 6 months but I decided at five months to wean.

I think it may be time to think about weaning, DS is definitely showing an interest in food and gets very agitated/excited when we are all at the table eating.

Maybe introducing some food as well will make feel less guilty about stopping BF.

Thanks for the advice, it feels good to talk about it.

Please talk to someone about your PND concerns?

The weaning may give you BOTH something fun and new to focus on :)

Have bumped the FF support thred for you to ave a nose hrough as well :)

You have done so well getting to five months and have nothing to feel guilty about even if you decide to stop. I didn't make it to 6 months before introducing solids, the demand was just too much at that age and i was exhausted by it and felt very down. I decided to slowly introduce solids rather than formula and this worked well for both my boys. It also gave me some hope that the demand wouldn't last forever. I went on to bf for 16 and 17 months. Having a plan made the difference for me.

My ds got really difficult to feed around 5 months - I even started a thread about it! Biting, pinching and scratching me, tugging on the nipple.

His weight gained slowed a lot around 17 weeks - he'd started on the 75th centile and dropped down to between the 50th and the 25th for a while, and then at 17 weeks dipped below the 25th.

From about 20 weeks ds was getting very interested in food and putting everything in his mouth, and so at 22 weeks I started weaning. He took to it very enthusiastically and now at 25 weeks his weight is back up to between the 25th and 50th centile. I really think babies are ready to be weaned at an individual pace between 17-26 weeks.

Haribojoe, how is your ds otherwise? Are you worried about anything other than his weight? You say he's not thriving, is this purely his weight or are you worried about other aspects?

Is he losing or just not gaining much?

It is very common for EBF babies to really slow down with their weight gain around this time. Lots of GPs will not know this.

If this is getting you down, it is important that you know that this can be normal in EBF babies. Actually, it's important to know even if it's not getting you down!

Haribojoe I read your thread earlier and have just seen your post on the 'things you can't say out loud' thread. I won't copy it here - you can do that if you want to - but I just wanted to say that 5 months EBF is a fantastic achievement, you have given your DS a really good start and some lovely time BF.

I recently weaned my DD onto formula due to going back to work - and I can honestly say she didn't bat an eyelash, she only asked for boob once during the whole process. So don't feel guilty, do what is right for you and your DS - you might find it is really easy for him too, and I personally found it very liberating.

Please talk honestly to your DH, he is trying to do the right thing by supporting you to BF but I am sure he will understand if you tell him how you feel. He will want what is best for you and DS.

As mawbroon says it's not unusual for bf babies weight to plateau. My dd was a bit younger - about 3 months. Are you concerned about him in other ways? Is he happy, alert, plenty of wet nappies etc. Was he the one ill (chickenpox, flu) before xmas or was that the rest of the family? If he's been poorly give him a chance to get back on track.

If you want to offer formula or start to wean, then that's something to consider, and also address the PND worries. But don't just look at his weight and panic!

everyonesjealous thank you (and everybody else) for your messages and advice, am shedding a little tear to read such supportive messages.

Gave DS a formula top up last night, we had a good night and for the first time in ages I actually slept properly, as in restful restorative sleep.

So much so that when DS woke up I just put him to the boob and he was perfectly satisfied.

This morning offered him some "food" and he couldn't get enough, in fact he almost polished off the jar (I know I could be pureeing fruit myself etc but this is easier for me at the moment). He then went to the boob and fed really well again.

Am feeling much better today and actually I think maybe weaning could be the answer and not formula.

Had a good chat with DH last night who was lovely and I feel much better for telling him how I feel.

If I start to feel any worse I am going to see my GP to get some more help.

I think this is also partly the fallout from a rough couple of years (my Mum dying, massive problems with family, having to move etc) though I would say my life is really good now, I just think that having another baby has brought up some old stuff for me.

Thank you all again so much, can't tell you how much better it feels to be talking about it, even if it's not in RL!

Great news, will pop back and reply properly later :)

There's nothing like a good nights sleep to make things look brighter! Glad you feel a bit better.