Do older babies start telling you when they want milk?

[AngelDog]

DS is 13 months. Since he was about 2 months and did the rooting thing I've never been able to tell when he wanted bf, so I've just offered lots and any time he was grumpy / cross.

I still can't tell. I can be out at work all day, come home and ask him if he wants it, wave my breast at him and he's not interested. But as soon as I pick him up & pop him on, he'll guzzle desperately. I've been signing with him for the last 7 months but he doesn't use any signs and has never responded to the 'milk' one.

I'd like to cut down his day feeds a bit once his current teething spell settles down as we want to TTC DC2 but I've not had my periods back. But I don't want to not feed him when he really wants / needs feeding IYSWIM. Because he's more toddler-like now, he gets cross & fussy more often, not usually to do with feeding but it can be hard to tell.

Any tips on knowing when to offer bf and when he might be happy without?

He feeds about 4 or 5 times a day and usually only twice at night, although it's more like 8x a night due to teething at the moment.

My DS is like a baby sparrow, when hes hungry he opens his mouth and goes "ah ah ah ah ah"

My DD is 15 months

She asks for milk - I am operating a don't offer, don't refuse policy in the vain hope she begins to self wean!

She either pulls at my top or asks for "boo boo"

She no longer feeds at night thank goodness [bgrin]

She feeds before I go to work and when I get back

More at weekends

DS asked verbally from about 13 months. I had regularly called BF "mamas milk" by then ("Do you want mamas milk?"). Prior to this he tugged my top, from about 9-10 months I think. My naming what he wanted was my way of trying to introduce some BF manners. This worked well for us. He did still try to tug my top/stick his hand down, but generally just asked for "mulk", which then turned into "sit here mama" and then "want some, want some" by 20 months (when we finished up). I did still feed him more or less "on demand" until we stopped and it could have been 1-4 times a day but on average, at 13 months I would say it was maybe 4-5 if I was with him all day, 3 on a work day.

I think it might help to not offer at all and see what he does? Conduct a little experiment? I expect he will give some cue, if for example, you sit down with him on your lap. Or give him a good cuddle? How does he respond when you are getting dried up after a shower or if he sees you getting dressed? Things like this resulted in a communication festival from DS .

I would also start verbally labelling it, every time you feed him, with the same label (iyswim) to help his "asking".

Don't know if this is helpful or just a big ramble....

My DD is 14 months (today!). She lets me know when she wants milk by climbing on me and pulling my top up or down. Like the previous poster we have a word - I call it milky milk, which she says as nimnim so I can usually tell. When I'm at work she puts up with not having any but when at home will have a feed on waking, usually one at 5/6 pm then at bed time and if she wakes in the night (which is about 50/50 lately) she has more! I sometimes feel I should wean her off a bit esp in the night but we do both enjoy it.
Not sure that helps at all but maybe try not offering at all for a day and see what he does.

Mine started asking for it by name at about that age - initially it was 'nim' but then suddenly at 14 months he renamed it 'mambo'. Once he realised he could ask for it, he asked all the time for a few weeks, which I'm sure was down to the novelty of having a word for it!

Thanks, everyone.

Night time is the one time I can tell - he wants feeding if he won't let himself be rocked to sleep.

I do verbally label it (and sign it) pretty much every time.

Once I offered and he gave me a big grin and crawled towards me at speed. Not since, though.

He doesn't show any signs of interest when I'm getting dressed. In the shower etc he's too excited by the sink to notice anything else.

He does usually miss it (or me) when I'm at work - by the end of the day he's usually a bit fraught (DH looks after him so it's not like he's in a strange environment). But even then he doesn't show much sign of keenness until I put him on my lap.

Sometimes when we're out he'll get a bit overwrought and refuse to feed, but as soon as we get home he'll have a good feed (if I offer!) and he calms right down again. So I think there are points when he needs it even though he doesn't seem interested.

He communicates other things well so I don't think it's a general communication problem.

I might try the not offering experiment and see how he responds - thanks for the suggestion.

I think DS must have read this thread - he's been signalling much more clearly today: getting stroppy, then opening his mouth when I put him on my lap and even patting my breast at one point. He had diarrhoea briefly this afternoon and I think he needed the fluid / comfort.

Since about 4 months DD has done an "ooh, ooh, ooh" thing in anticipation. It's unmistakeable.

:)

If we ever have a second DC, I look forward to a more enthusiastic asker as it sounds like DS's non-asking is not the norm.

DD is nearly 11 months, she crawls up to me and starts facebutting my chest when she's hungry, but that goes for meal times as well as boob times.

DD (16 months) goes off and fetches a cushion . Has done since about a year. She will carry an enormous cushion bigger than she is halfway round the house if it's the only one she can find

Angeldog, trust me, an 'enthusiastic asker' is no picnic

DS is 17 months and for the last month is pointing, pulling top down, grabbing hold of skin to pull breast out (ouch!), and shouting at the top of his lungs 'BOOOOOOOBBBBIIIIEEEE!!!!!!' I am trying, without success, to get him to say or sign 'please'.

I so miss the days when he would just sort of nod his head towards my chest (around 8 months). He did it to the nursery nurses as well, so they always knew when he wanted his EBM bottle.

You're right, I have it easy!