I want to stop bf DS but am feeling guilty

6 replies

naturelover · 24/01/2011 19:17

... which is probably ridiculous as he'll be 18mo soon!

Anyone else felt like this even if they've fed their DC to a decent age?

I'm not really enjoying it anymore. I want my body back (after 4 years continuous bf and pg). My libido is zero. I want to wear nice bras and tops again. I want to go away for a weekend with some friends.

I just feel all the reasons for stopping are selfish and I feel guilty about it.

DS is dairy intolerant so I know I'll have to be very careful with his diet when I stop bf to make sure he gets everything he needs (I'm under a dietician for this btw). He only feeds 3 times a day and I'm about to cut this down to twice.

I fed DD to 19mo, I am aiming for the same for DS. I have no real reason to stop as I'm not going to have any more babies (I stopped feeding DD because I was pregnant with DS and I didn't want to tandem feed). I did think I would feed DS till age 2 but actually I want to stop before then.

Anyway, sorry this is long, just want reassurance that I'm not alone!

OP posts:

japhrimel · 24/01/2011 19:38

I just wanted to say that you've done brilliantly! Really hope we can do as well as that.

greedychops · 24/01/2011 19:43

You have done a fantastic job. If you feel it's right to stop, then it's right to stop. You wouldn't want to end up resenting the feeding, or having bad memories of the last few months of feeding etc.

I fed ds1 to 14 months and ds2 to 15, and felt a little guilty as it was me that chose to stop, but actually once I'd decided that, neither of them seemed bothered. They were happy to have it when I was offering, but when I didn't, they just got on with other things, and were absolutely fine.

Ds1 is allergic to various things including dairy, and although you have to be more careful, you soon adjust to a routine of what they can have and what they can't (as you already have done with your own diet).

And you will be able to have a big bar of chocolate. Well done.

thisisyesterday · 24/01/2011 19:57

if you feel guilty about it then why not just cut down a bit more and see how you go?

I have to say that I breastfeed my 19 month old and I still wear nice bras and tops, and can go away for a weekend! so they aren't necessarily reasons to stop IMO.

of course you should stop if you really want to, it's a decision only you can make.

fwiw my second child is dairy/egg intolerant and he weaned at 16 months and has been fine ever since, so don't worry too much about that side of it. although, there are times when i wiush he was still breastfed!

Original poster

naturelover · 25/01/2011 11:10

Thanks for your messages.

Yes, another bonus of stopping will be being able to eat dairy myself again. My limited diet the last year or so has been tedious. He is also allergic to egg :(

OP posts:

BlameItOnTheBogey · 25/01/2011 11:14

I just stopped feeding dd at 13 months and feel the same. I also feel a little sad because she will be my last baby so it felt like a big decision. And she's cow's milk allergic - so I understand all of the mixed feelings you have. However, (and I know it is selfish) I really, really enjoyed the latte I had this morning and I have a cold at the moment and am so delighted to be able to take some proper medicine to sort it out. I'm trying to focus on this (and on the positive side, dd hasn't even asked for it so I guess she isn't missing bf'ing).

systemsaddict · 25/01/2011 11:26

Well done, I do remember this feeling very well as I had always planned to keep feeding dd till she stopped of her own accord - but at nearly 2 she showed no sign of doing so and I was like you, 4 years of pg / bf and I wanted my body back! I tried to do gradual cutting down, distraction, no offer no refuse or whatever it's called, none of it worked and eventually I just told her it had stopped and I was going to stop feeding her. She complained for a few days and then was completely fine.

Don't feel guilty, you've done a great thing carrying on as long as you have; and believe me it is very nice and rather liberating to get extra time in the mornings, be able to take proper medicines again, and for me the biggest thing was to be able to go back on a low-carb diet that I couldn't stick to while bf. (And I look forward to a big lingerie shop, but that has to wait till I know my weight has stabilised!)

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