Night time feeding is a nightmare!

[mummycow]

Hello - this is my maiden mumsnet voyage... I had a bouncing baby girl last Friday and she's just over a week old. Breast feeding is going okayish and the daytimes have fallen into a bit of a routine, where I'm feeding for 20-40 mins and she sleeps for 3-4 hours in between.

However, when night time comes, she'll wake up making all of the motions to be fed, but when I put her on she feeds for 10 minutes max before falling asleep. I've tried tickling her feet, blowing on her, walking around to keep her going but can't do anything to rouse her. Then I'll put her back into her moses basket and within 5 mins she's screaming to be fed again.

I've had a couple of nights where it's like this pretty much constantly throughout the night - on and off and up and down (with nappy changes in between) and wondered if anyone else had had this kind of experience and whether there's anything I can do or is it just a case of getting through it and finding a routine as she's only a week old...
Help!

mummycow welcome and congratulations. It all sounds pretty normal. She has spent 9 months inside you so its no wonder she wants to be with you at night

You could try feeding her more in the daytime, 4 hours is a long time for a newborn.

Try getting her outside for a walk at some point during the day so she begins to realiser the difference between day and night and feed, feed and feed some more during the day.

Would co-sleeping be an option for you?

Like you say, she's only a week old and it will get better

I agree with JJJ - I'd be feeding her much more often in the daytime, every 2 hours, and then hopefully you'll get those 4 hour stretches at night.

If you can get the hang of feeding lying down, then at night you could feed her in bed with you and both of you can doze.

Thanks both! I will try the two hour thing - I'd heard conflicting opinions about waking your baby up to feed so I'd been leaving her to wake when she was hungry and feeding her then.

But it makes sense that if she feeds regularly during the day then maybe she won't be so insatiable at night.

I'm also going to try out lying down to feed - But maybe in the daytime as I'm worried I'll fall asleep and roll on her!

Thanks loads for your help. Fingers crossed for tonight! x

I find you have a really good sense of where your baby is in the bed if you sleep with them - like a mummy instinct Men don't have it though so make sure the baby is on your side and not in between you and your partner. You'll probably find you naturally curl yourself round the baby to sleep and don't change position at all.

On the "never wake a sleeping baby" thing, I think that's fine once your baby has the difference between night and day sorted out. I'd rather wake them in the day and get lots of feeds into them and let them sleep longer at night.

Congratulations Mummycow

It all sounds very normal.

Like others have said, I would try feeding more in the day, probably every two hours.

DS2 was a reluctant feeder in the night to start with so I used to feed one side, then when he kept dropping off I'd change his nappy. This would be enough to wake him up so he would take the other side.

Good luck, you'll both get there. It's tough to start with, but it does get better and easier

I'd definitely wake her after 3 hours, otherwise, what with changes, etc, it could be 5 hours between feeds which is too much afaik at this stage.

Maybe try some white noise at night? The quiet might be unsettling her.

Mine fed off and on between midnight and 5 for a few weeks. It was tiring, but I prefered a good book and settling down with the knowledge it would take a while to trying not to feed him and have to deal with a crying baby. I tried to sleep at the same time as him in the day. I think they sort thing out by themselves. I honestly don't think anything I have ever done has influenced my dses sleep-wise. Ds is now in bed with us and sleeps through (he wakes to feed a couple of times, but doesn't really wake if that makes sense).

Good kuck!

Hi and congratulations!
I don't have a huge amount to add, but I agree with feeding more in the day. At this age i'd say to encourage your dd to feed at every opportunity during the day. This will help your supply and also ensure that your dd is getting as many calories as possible in the daytime. Your dd is so young, but will eventually begin to get a sense of night and day. Routine will help this. We had a bedtime routine for my dd from around week 4. Even though she had probably had no idea of what was going, things started to "click" around week 7 and there was a definit sense of night and day. Around week 2 my dd was feeding every 2 hours for 45 minutes at a time. Hope this helps. Good luck and well done!

Hi and congratulations!
I don't have a huge amount to add, but I agree with feeding more in the day. At this age i'd say to encourage your dd to feed at every opportunity during the day. This will help your supply and also ensure that your dd is getting as many calories as possible in the daytime. Your dd is so young, but will eventually begin to get a sense of night and day. Routine will help this. We had a bedtime routine for my dd from around week 4. Even though she had probably had no idea of what was going, things started to "click" around week 7 and there was a definit sense of night and day. Around week 2 my dd was feeding every 2 hours for 45 minutes at a time. With regards to co sleeping, it just wasn't for me or my dh. I did learn to feed lying down though but, even at almost ten months, I always put my dd back into her cot. We managed to exclusively Breastfeed without co sleeping, so if you'd rather not do it its Ok. Hope this helps. Good luck and well done!

Thanks everyone! Last night was another nightmare. She woke at 2am to be fed and didn't fall properly to sleep until 11am! Arghh! I just kept feeding her through the night until she fell asleep, then inevitably she woke and wanted more. If only she'd stay awake enough to feed for 30 mins. I tried nappy changing, undressing her everything but nothing seemed to work.

I've woken her to feed her every two hours today and given her 'top up feeds' when she comes off and I've woken her to put her baby gro back on. She's slept well today in between but let's see what tonight holds!

Thanks for all your advice. It's bloomin hard work this motherhood lark isn't it??

Really hard and a complete shock! Just want to repeat what others have said. It all sounds normal. She's possibly got her body clock round the wrong way and is currently inclined to be a bit more active during the night. It'll sort itself in time - just plough on!!

I've just had DC2 and I can't tell you how much of a relief it is NOT to worry about this stuff quite so much. That's my other piece of advice. Try not to worry, try not to count how many feeds and how long and when. The midwife asked me the other day how often and how long DD was feeding for and I wasn't completely sure!! If that had been DS, I would have known to the millisecond. I worried so much! This time, I'm determined to give myself a break.

I suppose ultimately I'm saying it'll all come together, your DC will be fine and will figure it out in time. In the meantime, while your DC is sleeping during the day, get thee to bed!!

And also.... if she's cluster feeding overnight like that, get yourself some DVD box sets! I got through all of sex and the city, the west wing, band of brothers, and six feet under with DS.

Limelight x

PS welcome to motherhood and well done by the way!!

This sounds so familiar I breastfed my daughter in bed at night and this worked well for us. Unicef have puduced a leaflet on co sleeping. I know that there is bad press about this but the leaflet is clear and explains how to co sleep and when it is not suitable.

Thanks guys. Had a great night on Sunday night - she woke like clockwork every two hours and settled straight back down when I fed her. Thought I had it sussed! Then last night was TERRIBLE! She woke at 12.45 and basically fed constantly on and off until 5.30am.

I guess that's the just the way it goes and if I have a good night every now and then, then that's fine. I'll keep ploughing on and get those box sets ordered!

xx

My DD is exactly the same as yours. She is 3 weeks today. Some nights she just doesn't settle at all. She used to sleep lots in the day, but now she is feeding constantly all day too! I am worn out. I think she is just having a massive growth spurt, she was small at birth as I had an elective CS at 38 weeks due to her being breech, but she has gained 15oz in a week! The HV assures me that whilst it is crap, she should settle down eventually. So, sorry but no advice, however I do feel your pain and you're not alone!

Thanks GlitteryBalls - I had my dd at 38 weeks too as she decided to come early (was meant to be at work!) so she weighed 6.8lb. I guess our babies are playing catch up! I look forward to the all-day snacking too :)

You are literally describing my life with my 9 day old, it feels like I'm feeding all night, she just won't go into her basket. I have no advice but you're not on your own.

I'm coping ok but worried for my DH when he goes back to work with no sleep.

Just wanted to add something about baby sleep cycles. I was getting this wrong for so long and it just added to an already difficult night time. When moving a sleeping baby, try to make sure they are in a deep sleep (completely limp limbs). If you try to get them from one place to another while they are in REM sleep (when you can see the eyes moving under the eyelids and they do the sleep smiles) they are very easily woken. I used to spend entire nights trying to put DD in her moses basket after a feed only for her to stir and wake as soon as she hit the matress or even mid flight! As soon as I started checking how deeply asleep she was, it got a whole lot easier. HTH and congratulations mummy

Toomuch, I am the same as you, my dp is due back to work on Tuesday, he has taken 4 weeks off as I had a CS. I worry about how it will be for him, and for me in fact as we have settled into a routine where he does the transfers, burping and nappy changes (only when absolutely necessary) and I do the feeds - this was partly because at first I couldn't get in and out of bed easily because of my CS. When he goes back obviously it will be hellish for him as he will be disturbed all night and a shock for me as I'll be getting in and out of bed all night as well as doing the feeds!

Asphyxia - you're right, our HV gave us this advice too. However it is so tempting when you're completely knackered just to put them down as soon as they appear asleep and hope for the best! Plus, last night our dd even managed to reawaken and start crying wanting another feed while we were holding her waiting for her to get into a deep sleep! Was an absolute nightmare...

We are trying a baby sleeping bag tonight in the hope that she will get all warm and snug in the bag and there won't be too much of a temperature difference when she gets into her moses basket and see how that goes... Plus the MW recommended leaving a hot water bottle in the moses basket while she isn't in it so the mattress isn't so cold - obviously removing in when we out her in it!

This is so helpful - I've strayed on here when I should be in bed early preparing for the onslaught when DS 3 aged 10 days decides to do EXACTLY this all night long....!

I never seem to remember this happening before, and thought I might be going a bit bonkers, until my husband sat me down and reminded me that this is, actually, what happened with both the others...!

Hot water bottles in moses baskets whilst small person in bed with you, sleeping bags, lots of day-time feeding, nappy changing in cold bathrooms at 5am - all jolly good fun... hopefully we'll be out the other side soon.

I am actually perversely enjoying it though, because I know this is the last time I'll ever do it. No, really. And that little newborn head smells amazing whatever time of day or night it is!

Congratulations, too!

Feeling comforted in my crazy-sleep situation - we are in very similar state here. You are so right about little newborn heads though mill, def makes it all bearable!! My ds slept 12-1am last night then was awake with feeding/screaming with wind until 7.30am. He fell asleep then and dd (aged 3) got up for the day at 8.30am...so I had a fab 1 hour's sleep!!

Just signing in to say me too! DD 2 (3days) sleeps happily in basket during day for 2 hour streches- at night zshe screams unless being held or fed- starts about 11, goes back to sleep about 7am.... When ds and dd1 wake up!
Have no advice but just keep repeating - it's just a phase- it WILL pass!
So- anyone up for a chat tonight- say anytime 12-7am??!

I was actually thinking that I might as well just accept that my nights are going to be sleepless and taking some entertainment to bed with me (oo-er!) instead of just sitting in bed with a baby permanently latched to my bosom, fighting the urge to fall asleep and squash her, so I was thinking about taking the laptop to bed with me! So yes a chat tonight would be fun! My dd did not sleep one bit last night unless she was being held or fed. My dp took her downstairs for a couple of hours at some point and I got SOME sleep, but I feel sorry for him and we can't do that all the time. Now my folks have taken her out for a walk with the intention of giving us a rest (she was sleeping like a (any other) baby when they came and got her - typical), but I have only managed a bath and my first meal of the day and they are already on their way back! She is EBF so they can't take her for too long. It all got a bit much for me in the small hours - I can't actually remember the last night we got some sleep. She slept all day yesterday as we had visitors and she was constantly being held by other people. x

I know this sounds horrible but I'm so glad I'm not on my own with this!
Seems to be getting worse - yesterday it took 5 hours to settle her down to sleep in the day time. She had a couple of sleeps in the evening (each took her ages to settle), then awoke at 11pm for a feed and didn't settle back down again until 4am.

She'd fall fast asleep on me - limp limbs and all - then the second I put her in her basket it was as though she was bringing up the milk and couldn't breathe, so spent the whole time feeding, changing nappy (she's pooing so much, which at least is a good sign she's feeding well), burping, wiping up sick and gingerly trying to transfer her to her basket.

Today has been much better - she even just did a frenzied feed for just 10 mins and is now fast asleep, so I have my fingers crossed for tonight. The MW says it's probably a growth spurt and that it'll pass and suggested putting a wedge under the head of the mattress so that it's on a slight incline to help her to keep the milk down so I may give that a try tonight.

It's exhausting having a baby isn't it!?? But all worth it.x

Hi ladies,

Just wanted to send a message of support - this will get easier, and sooner than you think!

Definitely try to establish a real difference between day and night. E.g. only in the bedroom/cot at night, keep lighting up during the day but dark at night, keep voices down during night feeds. I know it sounds like really obvious stuff, but I think it can help. Maybe not always immediately, but in the long run. Try to keep nappy changes at night to a minimum, i.e. only if you know your baby needs it, rather than out of habit after feeding.

I know it seems early to be doing this, but I think it is never too early to gently introduce the idea that day and night are different.

And yes, feed as much as possible in the run-up to the time you'd like to go to bed.