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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Support for bf

14 replies

mrsnellie · 18/01/2011 23:50

Hi, sorry if this has been covered before but I'm new to this :)
I am ebf my 16wk dd and am finding it really difficult to get any support or advice.
My dd has gained on average 8 oz a week, sleeps from 11pm to 8am, feeds whenever she wants and seems very happy and contented. I just would like some reassurance that I'm doing things right. I tried to speak to my hv this week and she just told me not to let the other mums hear me as I would get lynched and walked away before I could say anything else :( some mums I've spoken to have said as a bf baby she should not sleep for so long and I should introduce more of a routine. I am happy with the way we are doing things but am now concerned I should be doing things differently. I also have not tried expressing yet and have had a lot of negative comments for this. I have not met anyone else that is bf so am finding this quite lonely.

OP posts:

browneyesblue · 18/01/2011 23:59

If your DD is happy and contented, gaining weight well and feeding on demand, it sounds like you are doing everything right!

Lucky you that she is sleeping well :)

You say that you are happy with the way you are doing things, so keep trusting your instincts. It can be quite isolating if you none of the other mothers you know are bf, but there are plenty of us on here that are, or who have done in the past, who can offer support or advice.

I personally expressed at the beginning, but found myself doing it less and less as it was easier for me to just feed my DS directly. Just do whatever works for you - again, trust your instincts.

re your HV.

Original poster

mrsnellie · 19/01/2011 00:02

Thank you :) just hearing one person saying something positive makes a big difference :)

OP posts:

browneyesblue · 19/01/2011 00:23

No problem at all :) I think a lot of us feel/have felt the same, whether breast or bottle feeding.

In fact, when I started weaning my DS, every other mother I knew was going down the puree route whereas I went down the baby-led weaning route.

A few weeks in, I really started to doubt myself. I wondered if I was doing the right thing, and wished that someone else I knew was doing the same, sort of safety in numbers.

I've got my confidence back about it now, but I'm beginning to think that the doubt may just be normal, and that worrying about whether you are doing the right thing is just part of being a parent.

As your HV doesn't seem to be much help, it might be worth seeing if there are any bf support groups in the area so that you could meet other RL bf mums. You don't sound like you're having any problems with the actual feeding, but sometimes it's just nice to have a chat.

I really wish my DS would sleep half as well as your DD though

PenguinArmy · 19/01/2011 03:00

Ah you'll only get lynched because we're all terribly jealous

If weight is fine, then nothing else matters. Everything else is down to preference :)

My niece slept 8 hours basically from birth and 12 hours from 4 weeks. She was BF for the first few weeks so nothing to do with FF.

Don't worry about the other mums (just downplay the sleep )

As for expressing I went back to work at 4 months so am a bit of an expert now. If you ask a specific on here or start another thread, there's loads of us. Although we'll likely say only do it you must because it is a right PITA and you can soon start to resent it e.g. if it's to have some help then do it when you feel like. The pressure to produce a bottle each day can be tough if your having a bad day.

MoonUnitAlpha · 19/01/2011 08:13

Is there a La Leche League or breastfeeding support group anywhere near you?

If your baby is feeding well, sleeping well and gaining weight well then I'd say you're doing brilliantly!

Breastfed babies often don't have such a long sleep, but often they do - mine slept from 7pm-3am from about 8-16 weeks. So long as she's feeding often the rest of the time and seems content, has good weight gain then there's no need to impose a routine unless you want to.

Cosmosis · 19/01/2011 08:48

Sounds like you are doing great! not a v helpful comment from the HV, but I think what she meant was that you are luck to have a baby that sleeps so well at night, I certainly don't!

gaelicsheep · 19/01/2011 09:07

Well I am very envious of you! Presuming you are not returning to work any time soon and you are both happy, I can't see why you would need to change anything. It sounds like it's working exactly how it should do. Could you get your DD to talk to my DD?

xMrsSx · 19/01/2011 09:07

I agree with all the above that you sound like you are doing a fabulous job with your DD. Well done! If you are finding bf a bit lonely (and I know what you mean) then would you be able to say where abouts in the country you are? Maybe there is a MNetter near you who might be in the same boat? Just an idea.

marzipananimal · 19/01/2011 09:24

It sounds like you're doing great :) I'm rather jealous of the nights too! Don't worry about expressing unless you want to do it. i never express, I don't like it and think (in my situation) it's not worth the trouble

Original poster

mrsnellie · 19/01/2011 10:10

Thank you for your comments, I feel a lot more confident now. I know that mine didn't really sound like a problem but it is more the fact that I don't know anybody who is doing the same thing. I have looked for bf groups in the area (I live near Basingstoke) but couldn't find anything, I will have another look. Just having that bit of reassurance makes so much difference.

Oh and DD woke up for three feeds during the night so this maybe the start of her growth spurt or just to serve me right for saying how good she is! :)

OP posts:

xMrsSx · 19/01/2011 10:17

I'll bet there will be a MNetter in Basingstoke who will know of something!

xMrsSx · 19/01/2011 12:36

bumping for you. It might be worth starting a thread re: bf groups or similar in Basingstoke?

Original poster

mrsnellie · 20/01/2011 00:38

Thank you :)

OP posts:

japhrimel · 20/01/2011 00:51

Sounds like you're doing great!

I actually noted at my latest nct meet that all the bf babies are sleeping for longer stretches, possibly bc its all demand led not set routines.

Check BfN for clinics - they have 1 in newbury I know. Or nct for baby groups. I couldn't find specific bfing groups near me but nct is friendly.

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