I give up!! but feeling guilty.

[RavenHairedPrincess]

I am giving up Bfing my 10 week old DD but I feel so guilty.
I have been trying to up my supply from when my milk came in, I have tried expressing, breast compressions, letting her suckle and feeding on demand but with no success.
The doctor refused to perscribe me domperidrone so I got a second opinion who agreed with the first and I cant afford to buy it over the counter.
I can't bear to listen to my little girl scream because she is hungry in the afternoons and evenings, so I have decided to feed her in the morning providing my supply doesn't just disappear and give her formula for the rest of the time BUT I can't stop this feeling of guilt and dispointment (sp?).
Sorry just need to get it off my chest (no pun intended) is there anyone out there who can relate?

:( so sorry to hear your experience and struggle, Princess.

(Domperidone may not be as expensive as formula - is this something you could work out?)

Not sure why you are sure it is lack of milk that's causing the distress in your baby - what is her weight like? If she is gaining weight ok, then it may not be anything to do with supply....sorry if you have been through this discussion before.

Lots of people on mumsnet have switched to formula and some are ok about it and some still feel sad. Some have mixed feelings!

I hope you find support, whatever you decide to do.

Absolutely. Do not feel guilty. I stopped breast-feeding my twins at about that age, and hated the fuss of washing/ sterilising bottles because I felt bad about it. But, your baby will thrive, she has had the good stuff early on and you will be amazed how much more energy you have.

Also, it is much harder to switch later on, for example at 6 mo when she is going through separation anxiety, especially if you return to work then (which lots of women do). At that point, stopping breast feeding at the same time just makes it all more traumatic and difficult for both of you.

Thank you for your replies.

TikTok I looked into the expense but unfortunatly week by week it works out nearly double the price of formula and at the moment its an expense I cant really afford as everything has gone wrong at once.
She hasn't put on any weight in the last week and before that was only gaining 3oz per week at most, but hasn't lost any by the looks of it.
She is a small baby anyway and there is concern about her not gaining.
I did see a BF counceller who has also ran out of ideas

Jaybird that is a good point I guess at least if I need an hour to myself I can give her over to my DH.
OOO one more plus point no more awful nursing bras, I hate them, trying to think positive although it's not really working.

Please don't feel guilty. I switched to mixed feeding with DD1 at 12 weeks as she screamed at the breast but would wolf down a bottle. I ended up in a miserable cycle of trying to combine breast/expressing/formula for 5 months and it was exhausting, I was glad when my breast pump finally broke at 5 months, it gave me a reason to stop!

Incidentally DD2 took to breastfeeding like a duck to water and we're still going strong at 7 months, so it doesn't mean it will be the same if you have another baby.

You have tried your best and you have given your daughter a brilliant start. You need to do what you feel in your heart is best for both of you.

Hi RavenHairedPrincess - Yes, I can relate to you. I had a terrible time trying to BF (EMCS, small baby, wouldn't latch, undiagnosed tongue tie, getting stuck on the BF/top up/express roundabout) and it made me miserable, but I was devastated about it all and didn't want to stop. I also asked two GPs about domperidone and didn't get it. A BFing counsellor, when I asked should I give up, said that only I could decide that but it may make the decision easier if I had thought that I tried all avenues (so I wouldn't keep thinking "What if I had tried that?").

I decided to cut back on the BFing and only feed twice a day and give bottles the rest of the time (no more expressing). Yes, I felt awful and guilty for some time that we hadn't managed to BF properly but at the same time I was also happier as I was far less stressed, my baby was fed and I had more time to enjoy her. She's almost 6 months now and we're still managing our mini BFs (I call them that because they are in addition to her bottles, they don't replace them). I was speaking to a counsellor about this recently and when I said "But I'm not really BFing" she told me to stop thinking in terms of mls of milk and about everything else that it offers us both.

I guess my point is that you don't have to give up completely and can mix feed, as you suggested you might do, but it's really up to you. Only you know your limits and what's right for you both. You may also be interested in reading the 'Support for those who FF' feed - I'll bump it for you.

But above all, don't feel guilty! BFing isn't always easy - you should be proud that you've given her 10 weeks of breast milk, that's a Good Thing.

I wish you luck in whatever you decide :)