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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I was thinking about this today and wondered if other people had experienced the same?

38 replies

CrawlingInMySkin · 17/01/2011 11:19

When I bf my two children I had a few negative comments but thinking back the majority were off women.

I had rushed into mcdonalds (I know but my dd was really screaming and it was freezing out and this was the nearest place) when I was sat down a woman on the table near by was giving me evil looks and called a younger boy (late teens) over and said to him that I was offending her and her husband should not have to look at that. The boy looked at me confused and said he didn't understand her husband looked mortified. She said 'that woman feeding her baby'.

The young boy looked at her and said 'well this is a place to eat miss and if someone feeding offends you I suggest you dont go to places where people eat or drink'

Sil used to give her husband daggers if he didn't leave the room when I was feeding and kept suggesting I express in front of visitors.

Many times over the years I have heard women say things like breasts are for your husband and while feeding is ok it should be done discreetly so other men do not see your breasts. But I can only think of the odd event when a man did something offensive about feeding I wondered if I was the only one who had experienced mostly women being funny about breastfeeding. What about others who has been most negative men or women?

OP posts:
NinkyNonker · 17/01/2011 11:39

The only almost negative I've had has been my aunt. At Christmas dd (nearly 5 mo) started grizzling and I was talking about feeding her. My aunt said to my cousins (23 and 27) "don't worry, ninky will take her somewhere private to feed" then on seeing me discreetly rummaging to unclip (I want going to hide upstairs at my parents' house) she got very flustered, "oh, it appears she isn't, quick Dave (my late 20ies, male cousin, not real name obv!) move over here, I don't want you seeing that" whilst looking shocked and disapproving. I ignored it, he looked bemused at her reaction and nothing more was said, a lovely Christmas was had!

Aside from that no-one has commented either pos or neg, friends and family have commented positively about the fact I am 'still' feeding her, which is nice.

shirleyhyypia · 17/01/2011 11:45

I've never had any positive or negative comments either. My BIL used to try to stay out of the room when I was feeding, but he soon got used to it. Plus the TV is in the same room, lol!

I've fed out in public, in restaurants/cafes and (yesterday) in a train station, and nobody has said anything at all.

Original poster
CrawlingInMySkin · 17/01/2011 11:50

I sadly live in a area that has one of the lowest bf rates hence all the negative comments. Last time I checked we had a 20-30% initiation rate and non existant after 6 weeks.

OP posts:
missnevermind · 17/01/2011 12:03

The young boy looked at her and said 'well this is a place to eat miss and if someone feeding offends you I suggest you dont go to places where people eat or drink'

I love him!
Can we keep him to train the rest?

RJandA · 17/01/2011 16:01

That is a brilliant retort!

Don't think I have ever had any negative comments but have had some very embarrassed male friends making excuses to leave the room. In the early days, one was gone long enough to clean the entire kitchen!! Ours, not his!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 17/01/2011 17:44

The young man in McD's sounds fab :)

I haven't really had any comments like that, a friend's husband used to leave the room when I fed DS. He didn't want his wife to bf because and I quote "they were his boobs" Angry

But I happen to think he is a prize twat anyway so his opinion doesn't really count - just feel sorry for my friend for being married to him (he wanted to suggest that the MWs "put an extra stitch in" when they were stitching her 3rd degree tear Shock).

Original poster
CrawlingInMySkin · 17/01/2011 18:25

KaraStarbuckThrace am Shock at put an extra stitch in.

I also thought the young man was great and gave him a huge Grin, and silently chuckled at the ladies face Grin

OP posts:
TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 17/01/2011 18:31

I once had a older lady approach me smiling and whisper in my ear that it was a beautiful sight to see in this day and age and then she stroked geckos cheek and gave my shoulder a squeeze and wished me well Smile

TrinityMotherOfRhinos · 17/01/2011 18:31

'extra stitch in' what a repulsive nobstain

eaglewings · 17/01/2011 18:32

"Sil used to give her husband daggers if he didn't leave the room when I was feeding and kept suggesting I express in front of visitors."

If I had expressed in front of my visitors they would have been shocked - never got the hang of it!

My FiL went into a restaurant once before me and and unbeknown to me asked them if they could find somewhere for me to feed ds. He then made it sound as if the restaurant owner wanted me to feed hidden away.

On leaving the restaurant the owner told me he was happy for me to bf wherever. Oh well.

activate · 17/01/2011 18:32

"kept suggesting I express in front of visitors. "

LOL

now that would be a spectacle

I've had nothing but good vibes but that may be because I'm a scary fucker Grin

TheSecondComing · 17/01/2011 18:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FreudianSlipIntoMyLaptop · 17/01/2011 18:49

I've never had any comments. I have decided not to feed DS in public anymore though, he's 16m and SO wriggly and forever exposing my enormous boobs.

That lad in macdonalds sounds fab!

Northernlurker · 17/01/2011 18:55

I can't remember any negative comments only some positive ones. I would have flattened anybody who'd started though - maybe I scared them off Grin I think a lot of women are more judgemental about extended breastfeeding though. Men don't tend to be but that might be because it hasn't occurred to them Grin An exception being husbands and partners who have seen a woman breastfeed at length and then they tend to be lovely.

HappyAsASandboy · 17/01/2011 19:03

I've not had any negative comments, and have only ever felt uncomfortable once. That was in a Beales cafe, where the rest of the diners were 60-ish Country Casuals couples. The men all looked embarassed, and the women looked at me like I was being highly inappropriate. I was sitting quietly in a corner and am fairly discreet (I hope!).
Oh well, their problem. The babies got fed, and it just means Starbucks will get my custom next time Grin

missrose · 17/01/2011 19:25

A friend of mine was in Starbucks recently and asked for some hot water to warm her bottle and they refused, saying it was company policy not to supply it specifically for warming baby bottles. Sorry, not the point of this thread but I was just reminded of it by the previous post.

BikeRunSki · 17/01/2011 19:32

You can't win though. I had negatiev comments from strangers for FFing my baby.

Original poster
CrawlingInMySkin · 17/01/2011 19:47

"kept suggesting I express in front of visitors" Grin sorry Blush obviously I meant express before they come and feed my dc with a bottle

'friend of mine was in Starbucks recently and asked for some hot water to warm her bottle and they refused, saying it was company policy not to supply it specifically for warming baby bottles. Sorry, not the point of this thread but I was just reminded of it by the previous post.'

That is awful Sad and it is fine to add them both ways of feeding are given negative comments and I am interested in hearing both sides of the coin, it doesn't matter how you fed we should be offered respect and be allowed to feed when and where we want.

BikeRunSun I am Sad to hear that and yes I am aware that both sides get stick which is just horrible why cant people just respect others opinions?

OP posts:
carrotsandpeasifyouplease · 17/01/2011 19:52

Oh the starbucks thing is because of having just hot water around and the health & safety aspect, not really about the feeding.

I never had negative comments and I can't understand people actually saying anything out loud but its obviously because they don't want their husbands looking at other womens breast for whatever reason, they are just weirdly insecure.

marzipananimal · 17/01/2011 19:53

Shock at that being Starbucks policy. I assume she was buying a drink/food as well?

I've never had any negative comments or vibes but then DS is only 4 months old. I have had friends ridiculing feeding toddlers though. Makes me want to do it! (to be fair they don't have children yet and before I did I would probably have thought the same)

HermyaLovesLysander · 17/01/2011 19:54

Gosh this thread wants me to go out and feed with gay abandon so I can then quote sections of law at disgruntled cats bummed people who tut at me.

marzipananimal · 17/01/2011 19:55

ridiculing the idea of feeding toddlers, rather than the toddlers themselves!

Species8472 · 17/01/2011 19:55

Never had any negative comments, but when I was at my nephew's little birthday party when he was two everyone seemed to suddenly remember something vital that they had to do in the other room....Grin.

Once when staying at PILs my FIL came into the lounge, said "oh, Little Species is sleeping". Me - "no, I'm feeding her". Cue a quick silent exit for FIL to read his paper in the kitchen.

onwardsandupwardsnow · 17/01/2011 20:05

Never had negative comments when out and about but parents and my sister now have massive issues with me feeding DD - mainly because at 3yrs old they deem her too 'old' to need/want to breastfeed.

Have actually had some quite horrific arguments with them about it Sad

DD seems to sense their uneasiness and wants to feed constantly when we are in their presence despite only really feeding morning and night in general Grin

LargeGlassofRed · 17/01/2011 20:07

I'm still feeding my twins 18 months but when they were little they ate about every 2 hours so I fed them everywhere,

people did stare sometimes but always smiled when I smiled at them, I never had any negative comments.

Mother in law at first, used to suggest I went upstairs, but I thanked her kindly but always replied I was quite happy feeding around others. Grin

I don't feed them out anymore though, as they only feed about twice a day, but dt2 will often shout "boobies" "booooobbbiees" when he's tired or hungry Grin